Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

FREE RESOURCE:  Relinquishing Your Defenses

Ultimately, every person who becomes addicted to any substance or behavioral process is running from knowing how to or being willing to contend with four realities and four promises (from episode #104), which requires that we know what to do with our feelings and needs. 

We must become “response-able” to contend with life on life’s terms. While life is wonderful, it is also very painful. Even love, which is what we most desire, is very painful. 

We are emotional and spiritual creatures, and we are created to live fully. We are created to find fulfillment in relationship with ourselves, others and God.

If we run from feelings and needs and the responsibility, we have to deal with them as emotional and spiritual creatures, we cannot fulfil our desire to live fully and love deeply.

On my website, chipdodd.com, you will find a FREE RESOURCE called, Relinquishing Your Defenses.  This resource uses a triangle diagram to show the trap we can get caught in if we run from feelings and needs. 

We can become trapped in a never-ending cycle of avoidance and projection, “mind-reading,” and judgmental conclusions about everyone (Codependency Episodes, 32-44, Season 4). 

People can get trapped in the victim-martyr-persecutor roles that become a person’s reaction to any forms of vulnerability that produce emotional arousal.

Anxiety fuels the defensive roles. 

Judgmentalism creates a repetition of behaviors that a person uses to block or defend themselves from perceived threat.

The Victim - The victim role is not about being immature or weak.

It is about life experiences in which a child “discovers” that their feeling responses to life are ignored or negated in some other form. 

The experience creates a sense of helplessness, which means “no help is coming.” 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

You can also RSVP to Bryan for "Awaken the Heart" on Sunday, March 1 - more details here.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

FREE RESOURCE:  

Four Realities and Four Promises 

Ultimately, every person who becomes addicted to any substance or behavioral  process is running from knowing how to or being willing to contend with four  realities and four promises.  

Because the four realities are in conflict with the experience of the four promises,  a person must find a way to integrate the conflict or avoid real life.  

We are emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully. We are created to  only be able to find fulfillment in relationship with ourselves, others and God. 

As emotional and spiritual creatures, if we run from feelings and needs, we cannot  resolve the conflict between reality and the truth of God. 

Four Realties 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

You can also RSVP to Bryan for "Awaken the Heart" on Sunday, March 1 - more details here.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

FREE RESOURCE: 

The Addiction Cycle

Addiction is a disease, but its genesis is related to the trauma, and subsequent toxic shame that occurs relationally.

It is actually a neuro-physiological sickness that originates relationally and emotionally. 

When we, as children, reject our vulnerable need for emotional connection with our important caregivers and other emotional influencers, we end up suppressing our true self and this creates toxic shame.

A person with addiction is driven by his/her anxiety of anticipating negative outcomes, and they seek to relieve themselves from this anxiety of anticipating negative outcomes.

Counterfeit fulfillment “feels” like relationship with self, others, and even God temporarily, but it is not genuine relational connection because the person is avoiding their core feelings and needs.

A person who is addicted continues to struggle in a cycle of escaping his/her feelings.  This cycle is usually associated with what people call “stress.” 

This cycle works as follows:

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights. 

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

You can also RSVP to Bryan for "Awaken the Heart" on Sunday, March 1 - more details here.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

FREE RESOURCE: 

The Toxic Shame Cycle 

Go to Free Resources at chipdodd.com

What is Toxic Shame? 

Healthy shame allows us to recognize and accept our dependence upon others and God as we struggle to live fully in a tragic place. 

Every child is “okay” being in need. When we lose our ability to be comfortable needing others, we develop toxic shame. 

Ultimately, we become (a)shamed, which means “no healthy shame.”

Addiction grows out of the poisonous ground of toxic shame.

As toxic shame is developing, it begins to disrupt our normal sense of inborn  worth. 

Every child comes into life with a sense of self-worth. It is a God-given attribute of being created in His image.

Self-worth drives the child to cry out for his/her needs to be met. It drives him/her to have confidence that their craving is good. 

Toxic shame occurs when the normal human responses of the child are rejected, neglected, abused, or simply ignored. 

Normal human responses are: 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights. 

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

You can also RSVP to Bryan for "Awaken the Heart" on Sunday, March 1 - more details here.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

We are created to live fully, and we do so through relationship with ourselves, others, and God, as we bring the true heart of feelings, needs, desire, longings and hope to relationships. 

Relationship requires vulnerability. 

If the ability to be “comfortable” with dependence is fractured in one’s earlier years of life, the result is a set up for that person to feel the need to “hide” his/her heart. Instead of remaining present and connected, he/she has a compulsion to perform in order to belong or matter. 

Trauma is experienced when one’s ability to accept their need for dependence is fractured. 

The need to suppress emotional pain in order to survive, belong, and matter is the foundation upon which addiction is built.

Addiction is a false fulfillment of how we are created to live. 

Addiction is relationship with a substance or process that gives a sense of connection without having to be vulnerable; in other words, a person can distract or numb themselves from having to feel by using some form of avoidance of relationship with one’s self, others, and God.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

What is the purpose for creating this podcast, Living with Heart: From Birth to Death?

When Chip and Bryan began Living with Heart: From Birth to Death, they hoped to communicate one central message: Helping people see who they are made to be, so they can do what they are made to do, which will move them to live fully, love deeply, and lead well lives that bless others. 

In today’s episode, they take a break from their current series on addiction to celebrate with listeners the achievement of the milestone of episode #100. 

Bryan asked Dr Dodd to explain the driving force that has motivated him to continue in his work.

Dr Dodd’s responses:

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

In this new season, “What is Addiction” we will focus on three main aspects of addiction:

The pervasive impact of addiction

The pervasiveness of addiction and its impact makes it a pandemic, perhaps the deadliest human beings have ever experienced.

A pandemic is an outbreak of a disease that occurs over a wide geographic area (continents in the case of addiction.) It affects a significant proportion of the population. 

Tragically, Addiction impairs the addict’s ability to see the impact of their addiction.  This impairment is called denial. It prevents the addict from seeing clearly and accurately the consequences of his/her addiction.  

We have 30+ million alcoholics in this country and 15+ million people addicted to illegal drugs. 

For every one person chemically dependent on alcohol or illegal drugs, 3 to 4 other people are emotionally, mentally, if not physically harmed. 

These addictions result in emotional trauma, setting up the high probability of tendency toward addiction. 

Adding up the numbers using only the impact of addiction upon 3 people is 135 million people in this nation harmed. When the addicted person is added to the number, the impact is monstrous. 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights. 

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

In this new season, “What is Addiction” we will focus on three main aspects of addiction:

How Addiction Operates

Addiction as a feelings problem

Addiction is a “feelings” disorder. A disorder of not knowing how to face, feel, and deal with the feelings that come with living life on life’s terms. 

Life is a “feelings” experience, one we don’t control as much as we must face, feel, and deal with as wisely and productively as we possibly can.

To face life wisely and productively requires that we live in connection with others and God in an intimate way. 

The substitute for living relationally connected is to distract ourselves from our own needs. This means that we attempt to find a counterfeit connection that offers a relief, but not what we genuinely need.

The distraction from our own hearts becomes the addictive process.

Addiction is marked by negative consequences for the addicted person, but their actions don’t change.

Addiction also has its foundation on the defense of denial.

Denial has five characteristics:

Addiction is rooted in toxic shame.

Toxic shame is the internal sense of contempt a person has towards 

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

writers and other creators to publish content directly to their subscribers’ inboxes.

In this new season, “What is Addiction” we will focus on three main aspects of addiction:

What is addiction?

Addiction defined

Addiction is a set of behaviors that eventually result in negative outcomes and yet the person continues in the behavior, without admitting that the problem is beyond their own control to change it or stop it. 

Addiction as a sickness:

Addiction is not: 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week, beginning December 2nd. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. 

Dr Dodd continues to focus on his mission of almost 40 years, helping people see who they are made to be, so they can do what they are created to do. The articles in December focus on living fully, loving deeply, and leading well during the holidays. 

It is the month of Christmas. How are you going to keep Christ in Christmas this year? I recommend spending a few minutes each day in December reading The Jesse Tree: A Christmas Devotional.  This devotional will take you through the Bible, from Genesis to the birth of Jesus. Each day focuses on God’s protection of the royal line of Jesus and God’s plan of redemption for His people.

Chip begins the episode reading an article called, “I Believe It Like Air” that he puts out every year. It is a statement of believing in the miracle of Jesus’ birth, as much as he believes in the air he breathes moment to moment. (This article is also included in Substack on December 23.)

So many of us never actually grow-up, which is to face that we are primarily emotional and spiritual creatures who find fulfillment in relationship. Our fulfillment comes from being able to connect to our own hearts, the hearts of others, and the heart of God.

“Adults” are people who wear masks to hide what they don’t know, to cover up the vulnerability that exposes their neediness. 

Grown-ups develop maturity by being in need and growing and becoming more and more response able. Adults do not mature beyond their ability to mask vulnerability.

“Adults” lose the meaning and wonder of Christmas. Grown-ups live it fully with a faith that can contend with tragedy.

Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants

 You have established strength,

Because of Your enemies, 

That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.

(Psalm 8:2, NKJV)

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.