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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

How We are Created

We are created as emotional and spiritual creatures; we are created to do one thing in this life—live fully. But we cannot live fully unless we do so in relationship with ourselves, others, and God.

* That statement means that we must bring our hearts to daily relational life and involve ourselves emotionally and spiritually with others. 

Many of us have not learned or have refused to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with how we are created. We tend to “run” from how we are created as feeling, needing, desiring, longing, and hoping people. 

Surrender is Good

To live fully we have to admit that we are powerless over how we are created. We do not need to run from ourselves; instead, we need to surrender to how God made us. 

Surrender actually means to “render over,” as in give something back. 

The goodness of surrender is that it returns us to how we are created. It also returns us to needing others and God, who created us to find fulfillment in relationship. 

Surrender paradoxically allows us to reclaim our “anger” for life as we face that we are desiring, longing, hoping, wishing, wanting, yearning, hungering and thirsting people. Read my book, The Voice of the Heart and listen to Episodes #19 - Episode #20.

For a woman, to surrender is to know that she hungers to belong and matter through experiencing herself as secure.

For a man, to surrender is to know that he hungers to belong and matter through experiencing himself as appreciated.

Being Chosen

A woman’s security requires that she experience herself as chosen, as discussed in Episode 65. 

She is not chosen on the basis of her appearance only, but on the content of her heart and character. She is chosen for “her.” She is chosen for how God made her. If a woman experiences herself as truly chosen by a man she desires to be with, she will have a strong tendency to appreciate the man who has chosen her. 

Security leads a woman to be Appreciative.

Men Must Be Man Enough to Create Security

If a woman experiences the relationship as a secure place to bring her vulnerabilities, joys, desires, needs, and struggles, she will experience “heart security;” she will have the experience of being chosen consistently reinforced.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at [email protected]. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Primary Need to Belong and Matter

A woman and a man each have the same need to belong and matter. 

Each person is equally responsible for affirming the need to belong and matter of the other person.

Belonging and Mattering differ for a Woman and a Man 

Their need to belong and matter is met in different ways.

A woman’s need to belong and matter is primarily met through security.

A man’s need to belong and matter is primarily met through appreciation.

A Woman Needs to Feel Secure in order to Appreciate a Man

While each person is equally responsible, the man’s initiation of security is crucial to create a healthy relationship. For the man to experience appreciation, the woman must first experience security.

Feeling Chosen Creates Security in a Woman

The woman’s primary security need is met through knowing, feeling, and having faith in experiencing herself as chosen. She is chosen above all other women. 

She has confidence in knowing it, feeling it, and having faith in the future related to it. 

To be chosen is to know that she has:

This order is very important:

This description is not about perfection; it is about growth and focus for a man. He cannot be more than perfectly imperfect. He can, though, live inspired to be the man God created him to be, by remaining dependent on God, and by relying on “growth-aid” from other men. 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Everything we do flows from the heart, connects to the heart, and goes through the heart.

Everything we do is birthed in the heart. Therefore, to understand life and all of its undertakings, we need to grasp the way the heart works and communicate in relation to the heart.

God desires our hearts, as do each of the people we love and who love us. 

All the scientific and philosophical, and all of the archaeological and psychological discoveries matter, as does reason itself. This “Living with Heart” podcast doesn’t discount any area of discovery or knowledge; however, the heart is the emphasis of this podcast.

Blaise Pascal said, “the heart has reasons that reason knows not.”

The central emphasis of this “Living with Heart” podcast is about the “reasoning” and understanding of the “wellspring of life.” 

Men and Women are image bearers of God. Every man and woman has the same dignity and worth. 

Every man and woman has the same need to belong and matter. Episodes #3 and Episode #4.

However, a man’s need to belong and matter possesses some unique qualities as to how the needs are met, as does the woman’s need to belong and matter. These unique qualities are most evident in the relationship between a woman and a man. 

As we talk about the differences between a man and a woman, we emphasize the equality of worth, because for so many eons women have been categorized as “less than” a man. 

A man’s need to belong and matter is met by a woman primarily through appreciation.

A woman’s need to belong and matter is met by a man primarily through security.

For a man to receive the fullness of a woman’s heart and the appreciation that follows, he must know that:

Her security is inextricably connected to knowing that she is CHOSEN as his one and only; she needs to have faith that his heart is dedicated to:

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

We just concluded a podcast series called, “The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life.”  

Although the series applies equally to women, I focused on men for three reasons:

Good men are essential and crucial to marriages, families, community and society. If good men don’t rise, bad men multiply and societies crumble.

 “The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life,” also presented a picture of the man that a woman needs and hopes will come into her life. 

Every woman (who wishes to be with a man) seeks to:

Women and Men have to face certain realities in life:

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Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

A man will step into the future, often armed with nothing more than his own vision, because he trusts that the future is where God lives. He steps into the mystery of the future with hope, fear, and faith.

Hope is the inextinguishable flame of life in all of us.

Fear is the feeling that lets us seek out and ask for help with life’s struggles and questions.

Faith is the connection to God; and trust that our hope is not foolish, and our fear will be heard.

Faith is “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Movement #1, “The Order of Love,” is the foundation for the other 11 movements. Episode 50 

Movement #1 places the man in need of God, who created him and loves him. He is second, and he draws his strength, courage, and caregiving from God. One cannot give what he/she does not have. A man is created to deliver love to others, starting with his spouse and children (if he has them).

A man who trusts God will step into the future with hope, fear, and faith because he trusts that God wants to “grow” or develop him into all that he is created to become. He has also witnessed the experiences of God’s presence in his life.

Movement 12 can take us in many directions; however, we will focus only on two:

The Beatitudes present us with a series of growth processes. Each “step” evolves into the next growth experience. 

I wrote the book The Perfect Loss: A Different Kind of Happiness about the growth processes given to us in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount from Matthew 5:3-10.

Two remarkable things about the paradox of the Beatitudes: 

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Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

To download my Free Resources, go to chipdodd.com. Download The Discipline of Restoring, and more, to continue the journey of living fully, loving deeply, and leading well.

A leader needs inner strength and inner resources. I offer these resources to help people succeed.

A Man Knows He is God’s Masterpiece:

What stops a leader from succeeding? Usually, he does not know his value, and he does not know his neediness; therefore, he doesn’t develop the inner strength and inner resources to “stay the course” of his mission. 

We are God-created; we need to depend upon Him and how he created us. 

God created us to live with heart. 

God created us as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully through relationship with ourselves, others, and Him, as talked about in The Voice of the Heart and Needs of the Heart, by Chip Dodd.

Addiction takes us away from the heart of how we are created, because addiction is all about “avoiding” and “silencing” the heart. 

Four powerful scriptures speak to our worth, our dependency on God who created us, and the importance of the heart:

Ephesians 2:10.

Psalm 139:13-16.

Proverbs 4:23.

Psalm 8.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

The word “workmanship” testifies to God creating us specifically. 

The DNA of the human being is 99.9% identical to all other human beings. We are created 99.9% the same emotionally and spiritually, as well as biologically and physiologically.

We have also been gifted with a .01% uniqueness.

Click here to continue to read the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

For a man to lead any organization, family, mission, or task, he needs to trust what he knows. In addition, he needs to be aware of what he doesn’t know so that he can grow into becoming all he is created to be. 

This man seeks out the abilities of others so that he can accomplish his responsibilities. 

No one knows everything, and therefore, we all need others’ abilities.

Four Categories of Practicing Appropriate Authority:

Authority comes from the word author, which means that you have been given the ability and responsibility to communicate your assigned “mission.”

There are two kinds of authority

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

A man keeps no secrets:

A man who lives without secrets will still sin, make mistakes, and have regrets. 

However, he practices a lifestyle of rigorous honesty because he admits his sins, mistakes, and regrets. 

This man remains transparent by telling the truths of his heart to the right people who will respect his struggles and vulnerabilities.

A man who keeps no secrets is usually a competent human being who is:

The skills of a competent human being are separate from the skills one develops as a surgeon or plumber.

A competent human being values intimacy and integrity more than he values his skills. His worth is connected to “who he is” more than “what he does.”

We are as sick as the secrets we keep.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

What is an “RE-“ God? 

“RE-“ is a prefix that means to do again or make anew. Our God is an “RE-“ God because He offers Himself to us again and again through refreshment, renewal, restoration, repair, recreation, redemption, etc. 

A man trusts an “RE-” God:

To live consistently in Movement #8, a man must begin by remembering his proper place. 

In Episode #51, “The Order of Love,” explains the importance of a man submitting to God as the greatest resource of strength, courage, and wisdom that he can possibly have. “The Order of Love,” defines the foundation for all the other Movements of a man’s life.

A Mistaken Belief:

Many men are taught to believe that they are permitted to “rest” or “replenish” only when they are finished with their mission. They drive themselves very hard and live on “when/then” thinking: 

In Luke 12:16-21, Jesus shares a parable about a man trying to “get enough” so that I will no longer have to live with concerns, cares, stresses, or worries. Sadly, there is no such place that we can “get to” where we will no longer have to struggle. 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

 The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

A man knows what is worth dying for, because he knows what is worth living for. 

Because a man has entrusted himself to God’s order (as discussed in episode #50, Movement #1), he draws his strength and courage from God. He has a passion that is purposed, and he forms plans of fulfillment accordingly.

Passion >>> Purpose >>> Plan >>>

In reference to Plans, they are as big as the Passion. This means that a man continues to rely on God, because just as his passion is “bigger” than he is, so are the plans that he makes to fulfill the passion. For example, a father, in his old age, wants to see his children living fulfilling and purposeful lives; however, if his children live into old age and live a fulfilled life, he will certainly pass away without seeing the fulfillment of his plans.

Olympians are good examples of expressions of passion with a purpose. They give themselves to something worth being in pain over. Olympians are not a special breed, though very often they are uniquely gifted with certain specific giftings that they multiply with passion and purpose. In other words, we are all meant to be Olympians. We are all meant to give ourselves to something worth being in pain over.

We are all created to give ourselves to something greater than ourselves; this is an expression of being fully alive: producing, creating, shaping, planting, growing, and pursuing.

The man who grasps what is worth dying for invests in so much more than just his name being remembered. He invests in what outlasts him, without the focus on just his name being remembered or honored.

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