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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Reminder: “The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life” are not simply steps or a list. They are movements that we live in for the rest of our lives, continuing to grow and learn as we do so. We never finish; hopefully, we grow and learn until we die.

In order for all 12 of the movements to work, it is essential that a man orders his life, as we talked about in episode #50. Man must place God first in his life and himself second. Without connection to God, he will eventually wear out and/or burn-out.

Movement #6 - A man identifies himself with mercy:

The need for mercy assumes that the man has known/knows feelings and needs, and that he has the humility to admit having feelings and needs. This man knows pain, and he doesn’t run from it.

Pain comes from the Greek word pathos, which means feelings. 

From our willingness to feel, we develop three other important characteristics that come from pathos:

With passion, we can remain in pursuit of the results we seek.

People who run from pathos become pathological, which means sick. Feelings don’t harm us, but running from them does.

The great achievements of life in art, literature, science, medicine, in society in general, have their origin in passion and patience.

Love itself relates to our willingness to have pathos.

Luke 10:25-37 tells the story of The Good Samaritan, a man who identifies with mercy. 

The Good Samaritan had empathy, which means he had experienced pain; therefore, he could identify with the another’s pain. Since he could relate to pain, he could have compassion for another who was in pain. 

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Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Movement #5 is a matter of the heart, like every movement of The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life. 

When a man walks in the dirt daily:

Philosophy meets real life in tangible ways:

Basically and practically, he takes care of business one step at a time:

Without passion, a person cannot truly be successful. It is essential.

It means that you are able to feel, care, and ask for help.

Healthy Shame means that you show up daily to do your duty/calling. This requires the help of others. Every man needs the support, wisdom, care, and encouragement of other men. And, of course, a man needs God.

We have Healthy Shame when we become aware that we don’t have all the answers and need the help of others. Humility is an outcome of Healthy Shame. (Episodes #19 and Episode #20).

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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

A man grows in faith: 

By using fear as God intended it to be used (Episodes # 19 and Episode #20), we actually grow our faith, from an infancy to a maturity. 

By using our fear to reach out to God with our feelings, needs, desire, longings and hope, we begin to develop a trust in God’s presence and action in our lives.

Fear can initiate this equation: 

Fear Expresses Hope + Expression of Desire + Risk of Action = Outcomes that Develop Faith

A man needs to grow in: 

As a man (or woman) practices the equation, he finds that “infant” faith grows. In other words, infant faith begins to become “memories” of God’s presence in his life. 

Through practice over time, a man (or woman) develops a more mature faith that we can call “certainty.”

Infant faith is Hope + Expression of Desire + Risk of Action = Outcomes that Develop Faith.

Maturing faith is having memory of God’s presence in the past.

Mature faith is certainty of God’s presence even in the most difficult times.

When we feed the roots of the heart (feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope), we grow the fruits of:

The roots of how God created us are expressed at birth. The APGAR (Episode #2 and Episode #3) speaks to how we come into life with rudimentary faith. We naturally reach for connection, safety, and fulfillment with a desire to grow.

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Click Here to Read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Endurance and Perseverance are different:

Endurance is the ability to “take the blows” that life delivers.

Perseverance is that and more; it is the ability to fight back.

We are created to persevere, but we need to learn how, and we need help to know how.

We have to practice asking for help.

A Man Remembers How He is Made:

Therefore, a man serves a higher authority and a higher purpose than himself, and he orders his life accordingly as was discussed in Episode #52.

In serving a higher authority and purpose, a man contends with three areas of struggle, as part of the purpose of living with passion, intimacy, and integrity.

No man succeeds alone. He needs the help of others; he needs their encouragement, wisdom, and strength. He also needs God’s encouragement, wisdom, and strength to keep him inspired to persevere in his purpose.

Surrender is vital for a man to succeed and persevere. Surrender does not mean defeat. The word means to “render over,” or “give back.” 

Much of our society teaches self-reliance and self-sufficiency, when actually a man needs to hand himself over to God, as in surrender himself to God, to be the strength and courage that he needs to live his purpose.

A man who attempts to live self-sufficiently or with self-reliance only needs to surrender to God who can do so much more with His strength in a man than the man can ever do on his own.

The “Living with Heart” podcast series on Codependency is vital to grasping the difference between self-reliance and God-reliance. Episodes #32 - # 44.

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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

A man faces and struggles with being a work in progress by admitting and struggling to accept that “clumsy is as good as we are ever going to become.” 

Though we carry eternity in our hearts and the picture of perfection in our hearts, we cannot achieve it. 

A man faces four realities and perseveres in the midst of them and in spite of them: 

Remember that the movements are not a “twelve steps list.” They don’t work as an ordinal ranking, checking one off and then going to the next, and then assuming that you are done.

The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life:

Samuel Beckett said, “We are on earth, and there is no cure for that.” However, the courageous struggle to succeed in the midst of life’s realities; therefore, the twelve movements are not about perfection, but about living with passion, intimacy, and integrity.

A man will leave a positive legacy when he is: 

This man will exhibit:

A man must bring these three characteristics to each movement.

Remember that God controls the process of life. Listen to Episodes 23 and 24, “Trust the Process” Parts 1 & 2 for a better understanding.

A man or woman, who lives with passion, intimacy, and integrity is a competent person; therefore, a successful person. 

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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life are about a way of living with daily routines over a lifetime. They are about bringing your heart, head, hands, and habits to your relationships and life. We build a lasting legacy one day at a time and one step at a time. 

The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life focuses on the invitations, “response abilities,” and opportunities for men to see who they are created to be, so they can do what they are created to do. 

A Reminder:

Both men and women are created with the desire to live with:

Questions to ask yourself about living fully:

The desire to answer, “Yes” to all three questions means you desire to be a competent human being. 

Courage + Curiosity + Compassion = Competence

Men are called to: 

“stand-up” to bring order into chaos

“speak up” when no one is speaking up for what is just or merciful.

“show up” to fill the void or absence of what is good or right.

The Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life:

Movement #1  A Man orders his life following love’s code

God has directed us, allows us, and moves us to live life with these priorities.

The Man’s Life

God

The Man (Self)

Spouse

Children

Friends

Mission

The Woman’s Life

God

The Woman (Self)

Children

Spouse

Friends

Mission

If a person is going to love anyone or any place, then they must be willing to suffer and feel all the feelings that come with love. 

They also have to ultimately recognize that they are powerless over life. We have choice-making powers, but we don’t have power over all the outcomes.

Love is worth it, and it is a contract of a willingness to be in pain. 

Love hurts. Think of raising a child—all the concerns, fears, heartaches, joys, struggles, worries, sadness, celebrations, daily difficulties, hopes, and dreams. 

A man is given opportunity and a calling to 

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Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

The preface to Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life is vital because the movements are not just a list of twelve things to accomplish. They are twelve movements that are about a man’s whole life. They are processes that interlock and “circles” that join and move a man into wholeness and love and legacy. 

The 12 Movements are about a man’s character of heart and having actions that match his character in order that he leaves behind a positive legacy.

Men are created to become someone who practices a lifestyle of:

These three territories integrated create a positive legacy.

It is vital for a man to practice healthy anger as part of the lifestyle that we will be discussing in the following episodes. 

For greater clarity about healthy anger, listen to “Living With Heart” Podcast  episode #19 and episode #20. 

Also, read The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd

Healthy anger is a feeling that moves a person to live with passion. Passion is the gift we receive when we live our lives expressing healthy anger. 

Passion is a willingness to be in pain for something that is greater than comfort or pain.

It communicates that a person values the heart and cares about something greater than his own self-protection, and vulnerability.

Healthy anger moves us to care, hunger, thirst, hope, want, and desire. It moves us to deal with and express the truths of the heart. It expresses our willingness to be vulnerable enough to care about something.

 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

A man is created to live with passion, even in a world that belittles it and mocks it.

A man who has passion is going to be on mission to accomplish that which he is moved from within to do. 

A man is created to be capable of intimacy, or “into-me-see.” In other words, he is capable of sharing the truths of his heart. 

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

This new podcast series, “Twelve Movements of a Man’s Life,” is not going to be exclusively for men. We want women to learn and have confidence in seeing and expecting men to be who they are created to be. 

I created these twelve movements over 15 years ago when I was in my early 50s. I knew that I was not old enough to present them with assurance, because I had not witnessed them as a “lived experience” yet—even though I knew they were true. 

I am now more of a witness to how extraordinarily true and vital they are for our society, for families, for marriages, for mission, for men in community with other men, and for a man with God. 

I learned these truths and concepts from the thousands of men, couples, and families that I have worked with while running my treatment center and in my own  consulting/mentoring practice that I started in 2019. This material is the culmination of work that began in 1988, if not before!

These twelve movements are not a list that a person checks off, completes the next step, and then gets his diploma. These movements are actually real processes, or interlocking circles that expand over a lifetime. They are never completed. They only end when the man’s life ends.

This episode lays the foundation for the twelve movements to follow:

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

Welcome back and Happy New Year’s Eve!

We are talking about the real meaning of resolution, what many us set our minds to focus on in the first of every year. We often fail not too long after we commit ourselves to some New Year’s resolution. There is a reason we often give up on our promises and commitments to ourselves. 

We deal with that today:

What sets us up to fail, and how do we actually succeed.

New Year’s Day is often a marker day, one in which we look towards the future and ask significant questions:

Out of the answers to the questions, we set up markers and set our sights on getting to the goal lines of our hopes and dreams. 

We often fail, not because we lack desire or good intentions. We fail because we attempt to achieve certain things with tools that do not work, starting with a mistaken understanding of what a resolution is.

We have been trained to think that a resolution means that I need to become hyper-focused, and that I need to become bound and determined through will power to achieve the goal. The mistaken teaching actually sets us up to fail. 

Failure occurs in the following way:

By going back to the word resolution and grasping its real meaning, we can start down a path of accomplishing what we seek.

Resolution actually means:

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights. 

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at [email protected]. 

“Living with Heart: From Birth to Death” podcast has been downloaded in 49 states and 68 countries. Thank you to all of our listeners. We are very grateful to you and also grateful that so many of you have shared this podcast with family and friends. We hope for many more listeners in the coming year because we deeply believe in what we are offering and how it can do for people.

I have never tired of or even thought I knew all the depths of The Spiritual Root System, even after all the years that I have been talking and teaching about it. We truly are created as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to find fulfillment in relationship. What seems so basic now, to almost everyone, sounded foreign to many, many people in 1991 when I began to communicate the power of surrendering to how we are created.

About 15 years ago, neuroscience research began to validate the material I have been talking about. The material I talk about is ancient, has always been true from the beginning, and is amazingly Biblical. 

It is a reliable scientific material, and yet even more, it is faith-based proof of the existence and goodness of God.

We are “heart” people who have the addition of intellect that develops over time after birth. 

We are born as “heart” people, and we are all created the same way. 

This fact sets the stage for the actions of a loving and moral people. When I look at you, I am looking at myself, in terms of being a feeling, needing, desiring, longing, and hoping creation. 

This factor allows me to recognize the benefit of practicing the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12). As our sameness allows us to develop conscience, we can bless each other. 

The more we deny our sameness, the more we harm each other. Of course, no matter what, we are going to still need to seek forgiveness; we are going to harm each other. 

We have truly entered a new era, one of the heart. 

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