0:00-17:00: Rony! Roni! Roné! That’s all there is going on right now. With the virus ruining all of our lives, we wonder aloud when we’ll see baseball again. We can look to other countries for guidance, I guess. Will baseball finally, at long last, decide to get weird?

17:10-25:55: As the season would have opened this week, we swap some favorite Opening Day memories, which as per yoojh, leads to a conversation about Matthew’s degenerate past. One of his favorite dirtbag memories is leaving school to watch this game.

26:00-42:20: Take a moment to relax if you can, y’all. Then get into these coronavirus-baseball questions with us. It doesn’t take long for us to talk about REGRETS.

42:25-51:00: Naturally, things shift toward cannibalism? The question is simple: what Mariner would you eat in a time of crisis? Kate also finds a way to talk about Dylan Moore, one of her many unmatched skills. If we agree not to eat baseball players, what is the best quarantine snack? Where does Pirates of the Caribbean land in the 2000s canon?

51:05-1:06:00: Let’s make a mecha-pitcher! Let’s also talk about good baseball players to follow on social media, and what highlight videos we’ve been watching to replace live sports. Here’s 33 minutes of the 2016 Mariners.

Music: “Fresh Air” by Future // “Goodbye” by Best Coast

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