0:00-21:00: Hanna Brooks Olsen is here, just in time for plumes of ash to block out the sun and end humanity once and for all! As an Oregon resident, where does Hanna find the Mariners in the Oregon sports hierarchy? Hanna grew up in a household with dueling fandoms, which led to her grandfather’s ashes being scattered at a division rival’s field. After a brief rundown of the perceived itchiest player in Major League Baseball, we find out how Hanna fell hopelessly in love with baseball, which will always hit different on the radio.

21:05-45:20: Everyone’s got a beloved Mariner who wasn’t good at baseball. Hanna’s is a recently departed, perennially thicc middle reliever. During this segment, the concept of time takes Matthew behind the woodshed and absolutely beats him senseless. As Mariner fans, we have a protective turtle shell that shields us from danger but also allows us to hide in our own comforting isolation. Toomgis, Larry King, juggalos, and a Pioneer Square bar with carpeted tables also come up.

45:25-56:55: The Mariners, this year’s Mariners, aren’t a complete embarrassment! Thoughts? Feelings? We know we’re in a weird zone when Kyle Seager has a beard. Matthew and Hanna then talk about those moments where another person is confronted by the reality of how much you care about the Mariners. One more important announcement from this part of the show: Coors Light is good.

57:00-1:13:00: Asking Hanna about her favorite Mariner ever, the time she saw Daniel Vogelbach crushing chicken wings on Aurora, and Dave Niehaus’ death.

Music: “Hella Good” by No Doubt // “Eugene” by Arlo Parks

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices