Hello Seattle Mariners fans!

After a ghastly road trip, the Mariners decided to go on spring break instead of play the Rays, and slide into the first game of the series with the Philadelphia Phillies with a resounding 9-0 drubbing. We stumble out the gate to remain composed, but ultimately find the focus to dive deep into the state of the team both literally (in the standings) and mentally (spiraling). Our twitter faithful ponder the meaning of life, joy and suffering as it relates to the Mariners, but also existentially. We collectively try to understand the Mariners through the lens of the new dead baseball and the strange new offensive environment that skews our ability to comprehend the statistics in usual ways. John talks about physicist Dr. Meredith Wills, her research on the changes to the baseball over the past several seasons and the secrecy behind that information. We thank Kevin Cash for his crucial role in snapping the Mariners losing the streak and giving the team a much needed victory. John previews his upcoming article breaking down new, new, new look Jarred? We defend Jarred’s base running in the early going, while acknowledging it has not been ideal. We praise Julio who is perfect. We refuse a reunion with Robinson Cano unless it’s in the bullpen. Kate and John assess Robbie Ray’s early returns and wonder if we have seen the signs that the best is yet to come. Lastly, we assess the mood music choices most befitting the current Mariners squad.

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