0:00-5:00 – Explaining the premise of this draft, which is not nearly as complicated as it sounds in writing. Basically, we’re drafting Mariner players from a specific season with the hopes of constructing the best possible team to win one hypothetical game. 

5:10-15:30 – Bongos begins the draft with an obvious first pick and also mixes in an unnecessary jab at the best player in franchise history. Matthew’s first pick comes from the same year as Grant’s first pick, which hilariously, is a year in which the team did not make the playoffs. The third overall pick is the first player taken from the 21st century. 

15:35-31:45 – The first starting pitcher comes off the board. Just minutes later, Bongos wonders aloud if said pitcher was messing around with nefarious substances. Then, naturally, we discuss cleft palates, the troops, Macklemore, and the glaring lack of bobbleheads depicting podcasters. An appreciation for Bret Boone’s plug and his early-2000s hair.

32:00-39:30 – With the legends mostly gone, we wade into the second tier of Mariner greats.

39:45-57:35 – The first 80s guy is selected! Bongos pits two devilishly handsome men against each other before, unsurprisingly, taking the younger one. What year is the best Félix year? Rest assured, Matthew makes the correct decision.

57:45-1:14:00 – We stan anyone who secures the bag and then gets worse at their job. As the draft starts to wind down, Bongos bends the rules slightly. The last big decision comes when Matthew has to pick a non-Rodriguez shortstop.

1:14:10-1:24:00 – Recap! We go through each team and remind you of the picks while also constructing batting orders. Whose team is better? Who did we snub? How would you have handled the first few rounds? Feel free to share your thoughts.