0:00-8:00: Kate comes in hot with a Shane Victorino take? August is tough when your team isn’t good. After talking about other teams’ minor league systems for no reason at all, we get into the actual reasons that we record this podcast, which is for Matthew to declare himself the Sue Bird of Mariner podcast hosts.

8:05-26:20: The M's won a home series against the Blue Jays! This is a cause for celebration, but like lots of Mariner success, it comes with a caveat, as we realize that beating the Blue Jays hurts the Mariners’ tanking efforts. Praise for Matt Magill and the Mariners’ bizarre alchemy this season, which does not include plucking sons and brothers of other famous baseball players.

26:25-41:10: PROSPECT TIME! Julio Rodriguez is taking a flamethrower to the Cal League, and he was not born the last time Seattle made the playoffs. JULIOOOOO and Jarred will also be in the Arizona Fall League this October, which Kate encourages you to attend. With the season winding down and various prospects set to graduate, we project where the Mariners’ big-ticket trio will end up on year-end lists.

41:15-45:00: A brief rant about the bungled Players’ Weekend jerseys.

45:10-55:40: New York Guy is back, baby! He starts by bragging about a correct prediction on the last podcast. New York Guy’s wife is expecting a child, which leads her husband to explain the story of his birth. Kate stokes the flames a bit by asking New York Guy about the Yankees’ inactivity at the trade deadline.

55:45-1:05:00: A comprehensive breakdown of the Mariners’ offseason trades with the New York teams. There is also a theory about James Paxton and air conditioning juice? New York Guy ends by explaining the Aaron Boone Effect that has taken over New York. 

Music: “Kids Turned out Fine” by A$AP Rocky // “Glad Tidings” by Van Morrison