0:00-16:16: Put on your bedazzled loafers and revealing dresses because it’s time for celebration, baby. Before handing out various awards, we check in on Edgardo Alfonzo. First award goes to our favorite games of the 2019 season, which unfortunately were few and far between. Remember when Tim Beckham and David Freitas were on this team? And they walloped the Red Sox on national television? There was also apparently a fleeting moment of joy on Father’s Day. Kate urges you to remember the 2019 Mariners as Maybe Not Actually That Bad When You Consider the Circumstances and Also Remember the Orioles and Tigers are Whoopee Cushions. Bob Nightengale is also a Whoopee Cushion.

16:20-24:30: In the 2019 T-Mobile Park division, amid the shapeless goop, there were still moments of life poking their head above the surface. These are those moments [Law and Order noise].

24:35-51:20: The three of us choose our most cherished Mariner from this names-out-of-a-hat roster. After a quick detour to ponder which Mariner minor leaguer is most likely to smoke hookah, we get into the sads. In a season of individual disappointments, Yusei Kikuchi’s perhaps looms the largest. Fear not, he is still young and was experiencing a serious mix of life events off the field. Kikuchi’s progression from his rookie to sophomore seasons stands to be a fascinating part of this re-build, particularly if he’s throwing to a new catcher in 2020.

51:35-1:16:25: Who had the non-Angels no-hitter against the 2019 Mariners? Two thirds of us (whose job it is to follow this team) forgot. This opens the door nicely for the conversation about a plainly named Mariner reliever unfairly going down with injury. The podcast ends with the Best New Enemy and Tyler Smith Award for Most Forgettable Mariner. 

Music: “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim // “Happy Idiot” by TV on the Radio