0:00-12:00: Kate’s feeling ill right now, and she doesn’t mean ill like really cool and awesome she means like she’s coming down with a sickness. Luckily, Starbucks (not one of our sponsors…yet), is here to help. John sort of Kramers his way in here around the five-minute mark and we shoot the breeze about the Mariners' relatively boring offseason. If you wanted Kendall Graveman and Carl Edwards Jr. buzz, you came to the right place. Matthew then makes a shocking confession about furniture.

12:05-25:55: Will Kyle Seager be traded before the season? A Twitter user asks us what kind of midseason moves we could see from the Mariners this year.

26:00-44:50: The Astros, they cheated! This is no longer an industry secret! Let’s make fun of them! Making sure we’re on the same page about Mike Fiers being good and A.J. Hinch being a good guy in performative ways only. Asking former college baseball player John Trupin how much sign stealing actually helps. Appreciating Tom Lawless and wondering what could have been had the Mariners done better against the 2014 Astros.

44:55-1:05:15: How much blood will spill on the streets of Houston? Matthew opines that this entire scandal is actually good for baseball. John tries to go inside the mind of an Astros fan. Let’s hope Yordan Álvarez isn’t spending his offseason preparing for battle, because that man is quite large. Are these punishments actually going to do anything? Do we feel the Astros got what they deserved? 

1:05:20: The world premiere of Before He Cheats (Houston Astros Remix).

Music: “Protect Ya Neck” by Wu-Tang Clan // “Before He Cheats (Houston Astros Remix)” by Matthew Roberson

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