In our previous episode about purity, we talked about helping our children (and ourselves) distinguish between feelings (which are very real--and may not tell us the truth) and deep desires (which are from God--and that invite us to dream!)

Today's episode invites us to encourage our children to dream--BIG!  It's a unique conversation about helping each other and our children untangle lies from truth while living life by design, not default.

Janet and Doug offer these 3 take-aways:

• When we stop dreaming, we live in a world small enough to earn or deserve all by ourselves.  God invites us into a bigger world.
• Dreams ask us to trust God because we are hoping for the things we can't accomplish all by ourselves.
• When our dreams don't come true, we can ask others we trust to help us sort lies from truth about ourselves, about dreaming, and about God.

Join us on this episode--there is great hope.  Dream big dreams!

This conversation welcomes Emily Soule, the Family Ministry Director at Grace Life Fellowship in Baton Rouge, to the BRAVE LOVE podcast. Emily helps share the good news about purity--for us and for our children. This is our great hope because of grace.  Grace changes everything!

Doug, Janet and Emily offer some radically beautiful ideas about purity in this episode--and these 3 take aways:

• Desires are God's heart for us, so we can trust them.  Feelings are a gift from God, too--and may or may not line up with our desires.
• Community matters.  Family matters.  We all need a safe place to ask for help.
• Purity is an identity statement, not a behavior statement.

Listen to this episode--and subscribe to the BRAVE LOVE podcast.  Contact Emily for her recommendations for great books to share with your children--and more good news.     https://gracelifefellowship.org     There is great hope!  

Transactional relationships teach our children to work for their identity (and redemption) in a generation that is already losing its taste for God.  Trading trust for trinkets puts our children in bondage--working to earn.

BRAVE LOVE offers freedom--and this episode offers five practical steps to connect with our children in transformational relationships.  Janet and Doug offer these take-aways, too:

• Live life together--in love, not transactional relationships.  Childhood is a season of growing up, not measuring up.
• Affections are caught, more than taught.  Invite your child to fall in love with good and true and beautiful and real.  There are the things that will build integrity and inner strength, and lead them into a life that is fulfilling.
• We're not designed to work for love.  Love is a more powerful fuel than fear.  Let's teach our children to be moved by love--not impulse, emotion, or adrenaline.

Join us on this episode.  If you haven't yet--please subscribe!  Thank you for being a part of our BRAVE LOVE community. There is great hope.  

Our children are living with socially acceptable addictions because we offer them prizes for performance. Two things happen when we let our children find their strength to do what is required of them from the motivation of "I can get what I want if I do what you ask:"  

1. We allow a fueling system to be built in their bodies that requires a "rush" to literally move them to do what needs to be done.
2. What is missing from their fueling system is the chemical of relationship (oxytocin)--that builds inner strength.  Without it, immaturity isn't transformed.  The weak stay weak.
   
   Janet and Doug offer these vital BRAVE LOVE steps to take in relationship with our children to help the weak become strong:

• Build relationships of trust so your children can ask for help in conversations without shame.
• Have "hard" conversations with your children when they're young, so you can have them when they get older.  They'll never be as young as they are today.  Start now.
• The resolution of addiction is not sobriety--it is connection.  We are created to need healthy relationships; without them, we will be addicts--by design, not default.

Follow this link to listen now--and to subscribe.  There is great hope.
This episode promises a link to this article:
https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/fortnite-and-the-collapse-of-parenting

So often, the mantra in our homes is "be good."  Get good grades. Behave. Get your chores done... "Be good...at school, at work, physically, emotionally, mentally..."

This mantra wears us out--and tempts us to keep score.  "Be good" doesn't help us connect in healthy relationships.  

"Love one another" is a mantra that starts a whole new conversation--about trust...and about impact and influence.

Join Janet and Doug as they remind us of the hope that comes with the transforming power of BRAVE LOVE.  They offer these take-aways with this episode:

• Building trust is not the same thing as being good.  Being good is often about me, my behavior, and my gain.  Building trust is about connection.
• Impact and influence--for good--is not the same thing as being good.  Impact and influence is about what is good for you--and what is my effect on you.
• Love has an impact and influence for good in the lives of those who trust us--and let us love them.  Trust is the door that opens that lets love in.

Listen now--and subscribe.  There is great hope!

When life is about measuring up, we need a lot of labels to explain why we're not.  Education has handed parents a pattern that says children must earn and deserve--instead of receive because they need...and because they are children.

Join Janet and Doug on this episode that offers three take aways for redeeming childhood:

• Childhood is a season of growing up, not measuring up.  Growing up happens because of the love received in relationships of trust.
• Childhood is a season of life designed for transformational relationships--not transactional ones.  Children get because they need, not demand.  Adults get because they earn.
• When we offer our children a honest childhood, we offer the world trustworthy adults.

Listen--and subscribe.  https://janetnewberry.com/podcast/
There is great hope!

The holidays are over--and for some of us, we're wondering what happened. We had great expectations!  Family time was going to be special.  Relationships were going to be close.  And some of the time was special, but--if we're honest--we're moving into 2019 wondering if there's something missing in our relationships with our children.

In this episode, Janet and Doug share quotes from three great books--that offer a BRAVE LOVE perspective for parenting in the new year.

And this episode offers these three steps to take with yourself--and your family--in 2019:

• Start with yourself.  Trust who God says you are.  Our children need to see us trusting someone bigger than ourselves.
• Build a relationship of trust with your children.  Talk about identity and integrity.  Put away the tools of control and manipulation.
• Together--there is great hope.  Join a community that is talking about identity and integrity, too.  We are created to do the hard work of parenting in community.

Join us on this episode--and subscribe.  There is great hope.

You can find the three books discussed in this episode on this link:  https://janetnewberry.com/my-favorite-things/

Janet and Doug welcome Tim Chalas to the BRAVE LOVE podcast this week.  Tim is a husband and father of three.  He is also the lead pastor at Grace Life Fellowship in Baton Rouge, LA.

In their conversation, Janet, Doug, and Tim wrestle honestly with some of the ways unforgiveness can get in the way of our families experiencing life to the fullest.   If your family struggles with anger, bitterness, anxiety, or distance--instead of intimacy in key relationships--this episode offers great hope!

Join us on this sometimes funny--and certainly helpful--episode that offers these three take aways:

• How do you know?  Unforgiveness is keeping us from family life to the fullest when we regularly deal with bitterness, shame, anger, or judgement.
• Forgiveness opens the door to experiencing love--from God and others.
• "Forgiveness is the pathway upon which love freely flows.  Without it, intimacy is impossible and distance is inevitable."  (Tim Chalas)

Linger in this episode--and subscribe.  There is great hope!

The free resource mentioned in this episode can be found on janetnewberry.com

Life can be different when we recognize what motivates our behavior and guides our decision making.  We survive (at best) when shame or fear is our motivator.  We thrive when love is our guide.  

The previous BRAVE LOVE episode offered 15 indicators for recognizing shame.  This episode offers 15 indicators for recognizing love.  In an environment of love, we experience a full and free life. There is great hope for this life in your home.

Join Janet and Doug as they offer these next steps, motivated by love:

• Love is a gift, not an investment.  Love generously!
• Declare your home to be a "Shame Free" zone.  Be intentional about discovering ways to behave, parent, and lead others that are not manipulative.
• Information is not transformation.  Transformation happens in relationships of trust.  

Join us on this episode--and subscribe now.  
Find out more about our online classes and free resources at https://janetnewberry.com/

Merry Christmas, friends!

 

 

In America, our homes are equipped with smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors.  Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.  Smoke detectors wake us up before we feel the heat of a fire.  Our homes need SHAME DETECTORS, too, because SHAME is a silent killer of a different sort.  Shame can destroy our relationships.  Shame can kill our dreams. And there is great hope.

Join Janet and Doug as they offer 15 symptoms of "shame-sickness" to watch for in your family, and find strength in these transformational truths:

• Shame is an unseen force, whose motive is to convince us to hide from God and others--especially when we struggle.
• Shame comes in the shadow of misbehavior or struggle.  Shame offers us an invalid identity, and names us by our struggle.
• Love is an unseen force, too--more powerful than shame.  Recognizing shame is an invitation to run towards love.  Love is our only hope.

Listen now--and to subscribe.  Share this episode with your friends who need BRAVE LOVE, too.  There is great hope.