Zach (24) and Grace (19) join us on this episode to share how they are enjoying their relationship, trusting all the practical realities that grace offers.   When performance-obsessed cultures offer shame, grace offers freedom--even to fail.  Only in this freedom can we experience the fullness of God's love--and each other's love, too.

Enjoy this life-giving conversation and linger in these BRAVE LOVE truths:

• When I know that failure is an option--I'm not caught off guard.  I can remember the truth of my identity--and live from that truth.
• Knowing my identity in Christ isn't a ticket to being perfect, but it is a safety net when I'm not.
• I can be intentional about finding one or two key relationships that will remind me that it is safe to fail.

Join us on this episode and subscribe.  There is great hope.

Sibling rivalry is a drain on our patience and our relationships.  Most often, sibling rivalry is not a behavior problem.  What we misdiagnose, we will mistreat.

BRAVE LOVE offers these new ideas to begin to cure sibling rivalry:

• Help children untangle thoughts and feelings.  Sort lies from truth, and behavior will come untangled, too.  Behavior is the echo of belief.
• Help children find the real pain points in the stories they're telling themselves.  Find shame--and trust love to do what love does.  Love heals.
• Trade "be good" for "be loved and be loving" as the mantra in your home.  GOOD takes growing into, and often requires LOVE.  LOVE can happen now--and create GOOD.

Join us on this episode--and subscribe.  There is great hope.

Behavior is a fruit. We can't fix a bad apple, and we can't fix bad behavior, either. And we can impact and influence our children in ways that help them mature--and that support integrity. Love is the fuel of maturity. Love reminds us who we are.

In this episode, BRAVE LOVE offers these ideas about loving our kids:

• Caterpillars can't fly.  We get to offer the love that transforms them from caterpillars to butterflies.
• Let's trade behavior modification for connecting with our children in their struggle and walking with them through their struggle.
• Ignore the lie that "I don't have time."  Hold onto the truth that building trust matters.

There is great hope!

Have you ever seen a "Please Don't Feed The Wildlife" sign?  When we feed the wildlife, we change their natural behaviors--and it's not a helpful change.  We can do the same thing with children when we try to conform their behavior, instead of transform them in love.

Here's what BRAVE LOVE says about aiming at the target of maturity instead of good behavior:

• Requiring our children to "be good," our relationship with them will focus on measuring, comparing, controlling, fixing, or manipulating--and their relationship with us will focus on striving, hiding, rebelling, complaining, or blaming.
• Helping our children grow up means teaching them who they are, who we are, and who God is.  Our relationship with them gets to focus on building trust, loving them well, and staying connected in relationship.
• If I get older without knowing my true identity, I will be tempted to:  work for love, go it alone, or I'll live a life less than I was created to enjoy because I'm not experiencing love.

 There is great hope.

We had dinner last night with good friends who are parents of young children. When we asked them what one question we could talk about on the BRAVE LOVE podcast that would be the most helpful, Mark instantly blurted out: "Why can't my boys just put on their shoes in the morning?!" We've all been there. This series offers to untangle the ways we parent our children "by default" or "by design."

BRAVE LOVE offers these truths about behavior:

• Behavior is a fruit.  Bad fruit can't be fixed.  Bad behavior can't be fixed either.
• Behavior is the combined result of our beliefs, habits, values, affections, relationships, unresolved issues, and maturity.
• Behavior that is controlled today will need to be controlled again tomorrow.  Control doesn't build trust or maturity.  Let's be tired because we're building trust and maturity--instead of damaging those we care about.

There is great hope.

What an honor to welcome Caleb Lynch as a special guest on the BRAVE LOVE podcast.  He shares a powerful message with us about "seeing each other" --even and especially when we're struggling.  We need the strength that encouragement offers.  So do our children.

BRAVE LOVE offers the strength of these truths:

• Struggle is normal and to be expected.  Let's tell our children.
• Struggling in safe relationships offers the love that helps us grow.  Struggling in fear hijacks maturity.
• Who sees YOU?  Not who measures you? or who evaluates you?  Who gets to love you?  We need each other--by design.

Join us on this episode and subscribe. There is great hope.

Our children mess up--a lot!  What if, as parents, we didn't aim at the target of perfection with our children?  What if we aimed at the target of maturity?  What if we were more concerned with them missing out than messing up?

Join Janet and Doug on this episode, and spend some time with these questions when your child is struggling:

• Is what you're offering your child in their struggle going to leave them better than you found them?
• Will it help them discover who they are--as a person?
• Will it help them discover the power of trust and love in relationship?

Listen now--and subscribe! There is great hope!

Chad Belew is pastor of The Arsenal in San Antonio, Texas.  He's passionate about the original good news. And like most young fathers, he sometimes struggles as a parent. Doug and Janet enjoy hosting him as the first guest on the BRAVE LOVE podcast.

Listen to the authentic (and humorous) conversation, and find hope in these take aways:

• The Gospel really is good news--and this good news can be very difficult to apply in real relationships...especially parenting.  We need each other.
• Transparency isn't the same as vulnerability.  Admitting our struggle is step one.  Asking for help is where love finds power and practicality.
• Permission happens when we trust another in an area where we're weak and someone else is strong.  We are given a chance to grow up in these safe relationships.

Join us on this episode--and subscribe.  There is great hope!

This week's episode continues to look truthfully at the power of love and fear--and asks which power are we attaching to the consequences we're giving our children?  "They say" give our kids a consequence of "no screen time."  Brave Love says "screen time" isn't always love--and I don't want to give you what you want, if it's not what you need to grow up.

Janet and Doug offer these BRAVE LOVE take aways:

• Look up, child!  Your integrity is more important than your compliance.
• Look up, child!  As a parent, I want to help you in love, not make you afraid.
• Look up, child!  Struggle is a normal part of growing up.  We need each other more than prizes--to build character in times of struggle.

Join us on this episode...and to subscribe, too!  There is great hope. 

We can get tangled up in trusting relationships when we use consequences to manipulate --instead of offering the love that lends strength and that separates truth from lies.  Consequences may punish, but love both sets boundaries and gives our kids what they need to grow up.

Doug and Janet offer these acronyms for parents helping children grow up--instead of simply comply:

• "A before B"  Our children need love (Attention, Acceptance, & Affirmation) BEFORE they Behave or misBehave.  Love offers to help--especially in the ways we know our children are weak.
• "T after C"  Consequences happen, naturally.  Brave love reminds our children about the Truth of their identity, and unplugs shame from the reality of natural consequences.
• "L in the middle" Misbehavior damages trust in relationships.  Brave Love offers restoration in relationships.

Join us in this powerful and perspective changing episode. There is great hope.