Married After Kids

It can be incredibly frustrating to feel like you're putting effort into your marriage without seeing the progress you hoped for. When you're having the same conversations, trying different tools, and still finding yourself stuck in the same patterns, it's easy to wonder what you're missing.

In this episode, I’m breaking down some of the most common reasons couples stay stuck even when they genuinely want things to improve. From mental load and confirmation bias to attachment style clashes and marriage shutdown, I explain what may be keeping your relationship from moving forward and what you can do to start creating meaningful change.

Tune in to discover:

• How the mental load can keep couples stuck in resentment

• Why focusing on your spouse often means solving the wrong problem

• How confirmation bias prevents you from seeing progress

• The impact of attachment style clashes on connection

• Why prioritizing your marriage after kids matters more than ever

Leave a review for a chance to win The Us System! 

Let’s Connect!

Book a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call

Check out my 60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! 

FREE Resources: 

• Marriage Shutdown Checklist

• The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage Video

• 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less) E-Book

Feeling disconnected in marriage can make you want to hold on tighter, work harder, explain more, and desperately try to fix things. The hard part is that sometimes the very things we do to create more connection end up creating more distance instead.

In this episode, I’m sharing some of the biggest things I stopped doing as an anxiously attached spouse married to a dismissive avoidant partner that has made a significant difference in our relationship. I talk about the patterns I used to fall into, why they kept us stuck, and the shifts that helped us become more connected and supported as a couple.

Tune in to discover:

• Why bringing high emotion into conversations kept us stuck

• The role self-soothing played in changing our dynamic

• How overfunctioning with the mental load affected connection

• Why doing more was unintentionally creating more distance

• The shifts that helped us feel significantly more connected

Mentioned in Episode: 

• Ep 94: Dismissive vs. Fearful Avoidant Attachment Styles

• Ep 95: The Anxious Avoidant Dynamic

• Leave a review for a chance to win The Us System! 

Let’s Connect!

Book a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call

Check out my 60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! 

FREE Resources: 

• Marriage Shutdown Checklist

• The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage Video

• 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less) E-Book

Parenting a child with anxiety can impact so much more than just your child. It can affect your routines, your stress levels, your communication, and the dynamic between you and your spouse. When parents are not aligned in how they respond, it can quickly create tension, frustration, and conflict inside the marriage.

In this episode, I’m joined by therapist and parenting coach Robin Isman to talk about how childhood anxiety impacts the entire family system. We discuss the common parenting responses that can accidentally reinforce anxiety, why couples often clash in how they approach it, and how parents can learn to work together as a team instead of turning against each other in the process.

Tune in to discover:

• The parenting patterns that can unintentionally reinforce anxiety

• Why couples often disagree on how to respond to an anxious child

• How childhood anxiety impacts the marriage dynamic

• The difference between supporting and accommodating your child

• Why becoming a united team changes everything

Connect with Robyn:

• Website: theanxiouschild.com

• Instagram: @parentingtheanxiouschild

• Do Less Parenting Podcast

Connect with Lindsay:

Book a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

It is so hard to be in a marriage where you feel disconnected, exhausted, and wonder if things will ever get better. When couples reach this point, it can feel tempting to shut down, pull away, or assume the relationship is beyond repair.

In this episode, I’m walking through five important things to try before deciding to give up on your marriage. These are not quick fixes or surface level tips. They are deeper shifts and conversations that can help you better understand what is happening in your relationship, what may still be possible, and whether repair is truly available.

Tune in to discover:

• The patterns that make couples feel hopeless

• What to explore before making a final decision

• Why disconnection is not always the full story

• The shifts that can change the direction of a marriage

• What healthy effort and repair can actually look like

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Get your FREE EBOOK! 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less): https://marriedafterkids.com/freebie

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Investing in support for your marriage can feel like a big, scary step. Whether it is coaching, therapy, or a program, many couples hesitate because they are unsure if it is the right time, the right fit, or even worth it. And it is not just about money. It is also about your time, your energy, and your willingness to trust yourself in the process.

In this episode, I’m walking you through six important questions to ask yourself before you invest in marriage support. These questions will help you get clear on where you are, what you actually need, and how to make a decision that feels aligned instead of reactive or pressured.

Tune in to discover:

• Whether you are truly ready to invest in change

• If you are looking for quick fixes or real growth

• What kind of support your marriage actually needs

• What might be holding you back from getting help

• Whether you trust yourself to follow through

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

It can be hard to know the difference between helping your partner and unintentionally enabling patterns that keep you both stuck. What feels like support on the surface can sometimes reinforce the very dynamics that are causing frustration, imbalance, or disconnection in your marriage.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the key differences between enabling and supporting, why this distinction matters so much, and how to recognize which one you are actually doing. I walk through what each looks like in real life, how it impacts both partners, and what needs to shift if you want to create healthier patterns and more mutual responsibility.

Tune in to discover:

• The difference between supporting and enabling in marriage

• Why enabling often feels like helping

• How these patterns impact connection and responsibility

• Signs you may be enabling without realizing it

• What it looks like to shift into true support

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

When the mental load and attachment styles collide, it can create a pattern that feels impossible to break. One partner is often overwhelmed, carrying the invisible weight of everything that needs to get done, while the other may feel criticized, shut down, or unsure how to step in.

In this episode, I’m breaking down how attachment styles show up inside the mental load dynamic and why this combination creates so much tension in marriage. I explain what is happening underneath the surface for both partners, how these patterns reinforce each other, and what needs to shift in order to create more balance, understanding, and connection.

Tune in to discover:

• How attachment styles influence the mental load dynamic

• Why this pattern creates so much conflict between partners

• What each partner is experiencing beneath the surface

• How overwhelm and shutdown reinforce each other

• What helps create more balance and connection

FREE LIVE TRAINING April 30th! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

There are moments in marriage where you know appreciation would help, but you just do not want to give it. Maybe it feels forced, maybe you are frustrated, or maybe you are thinking, “he should just be doing this already.”

In this episode, I’m breaking down why appreciation can feel so difficult in certain moments and what is actually happening underneath that resistance. I talk about resentment, expectations, and the role appreciation plays in shifting dynamics, even when it feels undeserved. If you have ever struggled to acknowledge your partner without feeling annoyed or disconnected, this conversation will give you a different way to approach it.

Tune in to discover:

• Why appreciation can feel so hard to give

• The thoughts that block you from expressing gratitude

• How resentment impacts your willingness to acknowledge your partner

• What appreciation actually does in a relationship

• How to approach it in a way that feels more genuine

Join me April 30th for my FREE LIVE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There is one tool that has the power to change the way you communicate, reduce conflict, and build connection, yet most couples struggle to use it consistently. It sounds simple, but in the moment, it can feel surprisingly difficult to do.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why this tool matters so much, what gets in the way of using it, and how it can shift the dynamic in your relationship when you start applying it. If you have ever found yourself stuck in the same patterns or feeling like conversations go nowhere, this is a skill worth paying attention to.

Tune in to discover:

• The tool that can transform communication in your marriage

• Why it is so hard to use in the moment

• The common patterns that block you from using it

• How this tool changes the dynamic between partners

• What it looks like to start using it consistently

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

When one partner is completely taken out, everything in the household shifts. Roles change, pressure increases, and what is normally shared can suddenly fall on one person. These moments can feel overwhelming, but they also reveal a lot about how your relationship functions under stress.

In this episode, I’m sharing what I noticed in my own marriage when my spouse (and kids!) were down hard with the flu. I talk about the mental load, shifting expectations, and the emotional reactions that came up for both of us. This is a real look at how stress impacts connection and what these moments can teach you about your patterns as a couple.

Tune in to discover:

• What gets exposed when one partner is fully out of commission

• How the mental load shifts during high stress moments

• The emotional reactions that can surface under pressure

• What these moments reveal about your relationship patterns

• How to navigate these seasons as a team

Mentioned in Episode:

• Ep 100. Struggling to Communicate? Start Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3kjkcZmfBSEOF2sfC6UKpy?si=XPQAXfQTTAWjQRhowUi-iA

Connect Outside of the Podcast:

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids