Married After Kids

One of the most common questions I hear is whether a relationship can actually improve if only one person is willing to work on it. It can feel exhausting and discouraging to be the one reading the books, listening to the podcasts, and trying to make changes while your partner seems checked out or resistant.

In this episode, I break down what is and is not possible when only one person is doing the work. I explain how change actually happens in relationships, what impact your efforts can have, and where the limits are. If you have been feeling stuck, resentful, or unsure whether to keep trying, this conversation will help you think about your next steps more clearly.

Tune in to discover:

• What one person can realistically change in a relationship

• How individual growth impacts the dynamic as a whole

• The signs your efforts are helping or not

• Where the limits are when only one person is trying

• How to decide what to do next

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There is a lot of marriage advice that sounds good on the surface but can actually create bigger problems for couples over time. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and author Monica Tanner to break down some of the most common advice couples hear and why it often backfires.

We talk about advice like “never go to bed angry” and “happy wife, happy life,” and Monica shares why these messages can lead to more frustration in relationships. Tune in to learn what couples can do instead to build stronger communication and a more supportive partnership.

Tune in to discover:

• Why “never go to bed angry” can make conflict harder to resolve

• The problem with the “happy wife, happy life” mindset

• Why small issues matter more than couples think

• A simple framework for making clear, productive requests

• How appreciation can improve communication in marriage

Connect with Monica:

• Bad Marriage Advice Book: https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book

• Website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitalksmarriage

• Secrets of Happily Ever After Podcast: https://www.monicatanner.com/contenthub

Connect with Lindsay:

• FREE 30 Min Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

• The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

• Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

• The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage [Free Training]: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Many couples try to talk about the mental load but end up walking away feeling more frustrated than understood. These conversations can quickly turn into defensiveness, shutdown, or arguments about who does more.

In this episode, I break down what actually needs to happen for a mental load conversation to go well. I share the practical details most couples miss, why timing and approach matter so much, and how to set the conversation up so it leads to real change instead of another fight.

Tune in to discover:

• Why mental load conversations so often go sideways

• The common mistakes couples make when bringing it up

• What needs to happen before the conversation even starts

• How to talk about responsibilities without triggering defensiveness

• The practical steps that make the conversation productive

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Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Defensiveness is one of the fastest ways conversations shut down in marriage. One minute you are trying to communicate, and the next you feel blamed, misunderstood, or completely disconnected. Many couples get stuck here and assume there is no way forward once defensiveness shows up.

In this episode, I’m sharing the specific tool I use when my spouse becomes defensive and why it works. I break down what defensiveness is actually protecting, why pushing harder makes things worse, and how this tool helps deescalate conflict so real connection can happen again.

Tune in to discover:

• Why defensiveness shows up so quickly in marriage

• What defensiveness is actually protecting underneath

• The common mistake that escalates conflict

• How to lower defenses in the moment

• Ways to keep conversations productive instead of shutting down

Ways to Connect:

FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage Video: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less) E-Book: https://marriedafterkids.com/freebie

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Instagram: www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Have you ever tried to use a healthy marriage tool and it completely backfired? In this episode, I’m breaking down why that happens and why it is often not about the tool itself.

Sometimes the real issue is not a lack of skills, but a lack of emotional safety. If you have felt frustrated after trying to communicate “the right way” and still ending up in conflict, this episode will help you understand what is actually getting in the way and where to start instead.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why good communication tools sometimes backfire

• When the issue is not skills, but emotional safety

• What emotional shutdown does to your connection

• How resentment and defensiveness block progress

• What to focus on before trying the tool again

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

We do not often hear the honest, unfiltered story of how a marriage actually breaks down and what it truly takes to rebuild it. In this episode, Bryan Power shares his journey from having a restraining order against him to now experiencing a deeply fulfilling relationship with the very same person. He opens up about the blind spots he could not see, the patterns that slowly eroded connection, and the wake up call that changed everything.

If you have ever minimized issues or assumed things would work themselves out, this conversation will challenge you to look beneath the surface and take responsibility for the health of your relationship now.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The warning signs Bryan missed before everything fell apart

• How complacency and emotional distance quietly build over time

• The ownership shift that changed the trajectory of his relationship

• Why waiting until things feel extreme makes repair harder

• What he is doing differently now to maintain a healthier relationship

Connect with Bryan:

• Website: https://www.myrelationshipfail.com/

• My Relationship Fail Podcast: https://www.myrelationshipfail.com/podcast (coming soon!)

Connect with Lindsay:

FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

Instagram: www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Marriage shutdown does not usually happen all at once. It builds slowly through emotional exhaustion, repeated disappointment, and the belief that nothing will change. Over time, couples start protecting themselves by pulling back, going quiet, or emotionally checking out.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the most common mindset traps that keep couples stuck in shutdown. These are the thoughts that feel protective in the moment but quietly block repair, connection, and movement forward. I explain how these patterns show up, why they make sense, and what actually helps you begin shifting out of shutdown without forcing conversations or pretending everything is fine.

Tune in to discover:

• What marriage shutdown really looks like over time

• The mindset traps that keep couples emotionally stuck

• Why self protection often blocks connection

• How fear and hopelessness reinforce shutdown

• What helps you begin reconnecting safely and slowly

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There are seasons in marriage where you look at your spouse and realize the connection just is not there anymore. You may still care about each other and be doing life together, but emotionally it feels flat, distant, or even tense. Many couples tell me they feel like roommates instead of partners and worry that something is seriously wrong.

In this episode, I’m walking you through what low connection actually means, why it happens so often after kids and stress, and what truly helps rebuild it. I break down the difference between emotional safety and surface level closeness, why trying to force connection usually backfires, and the specific ways to start creating small moments of connection even when things feel awkward or shut down.

Tune in to discover:

• What low connection in marriage really looks like

• The most common reasons couples drift apart emotionally

• The exact three things men and women need for connection

• Why forcing closeness often creates more distance

• Practical steps to rebuild closeness over time

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call (for just $89!): https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

FREE TRAINING! The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

In part one, we talked about the mental load and why simply doing more tasks does not always lead to feeling more connected in marriage. In today’s episode, we’re taking that conversation deeper and focusing on what actually builds emotional and physical intimacy between partners.

This episode is specifically for men and non default parents who want a closer relationship with their spouse but are unsure how to bridge the gap. I’m breaking down the emotional needs that often go unspoken, the common mistakes that unintentionally create distance, and the practical ways to show up that help your partner feel truly supported and desired.

Tune in to discover:

• Why connection comes before intimacy in marriage

• The emotional needs many partners struggle to articulate

• Common habits that unintentionally push your spouse away

• What actually helps your partner feel safe, supported, and close

• Simple shifts that build deeper intimacy over time

60 Min Marriage Shutdown Breakthrough Call: https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/306057-marriage-shutdown-breakthrough-call

The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Today’s episode is for men, dads, and non default parents who want to feel more connected to their spouse but feel stuck, discouraged, or like nothing they do is ever enough. My goal with this conversation is not to criticize or shame, but to help you actually win in your marriage without burning yourself out or overhauling your entire life.

I’m walking you through one of the biggest areas couples struggle with after kids: the mental load. I explain what it really is, why focusing only on tasks keeps couples disconnected, and how shifting from a helper role to a shared management mindset can completely change the dynamic in your marriage. This is part one of a two part conversation designed to help you feel more confident, more effective, and more appreciated in your relationship.

Tune in to discover:

• What the mental load actually is and why it matters in marriage

• The three parts of the mental load and which one is most draining

• Why doing more tasks does not always lead to less conflict

• The difference between being a helper and being a partner

• Small shifts that help you feel more connected and supported at home

The 3 Secrets to a Happier Marriage: https://marriedafterkids.com/3-secrets?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Links&utm_campaign=3%20Secrets%20-%20Jan26

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Get your FREE EBOOK! 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less): https://marriedafterkids.com/freebie

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids