You may have heard the headlines: men are doing more housework than ever before. Sounds like great news, right?

But in this episode, I’m breaking down why this seemingly positive trend can actually be really harmful for moms, and the very important piece that’s missing from the conversation. If you’ve ever been told you should feel grateful for your partner’s “help” but still feel unsupported, unseen, or like you’re carrying the mental weight of everything, this one is for you.

I’m sharing personal stories, research, and practical tools to help you move beyond “help” and toward true co-leadership in your home and relationship.

Tune in to discover:

• Why it’s not just about doing more—it’s about who’s managing it all
• The dangerous message moms get when they’re still overwhelmed but told to “be grateful”
• The key difference between household chores and the mental load (and why it matters)
• How to talk to your spouse about sharing the invisible weight (without a fight)
• The surprising long-term risks of ignoring this dynamic in your marriage

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

That quiet mental tally you keep? The one that says, “I’ve done bedtime three nights in a row” or “I handled the birthday party and the laundry and the grocery run”… that’s called scorekeeping. And while it might feel totally justified, it’s also slowly eroding the connection in your marriage.

In this episode, I’m diving into where scorekeeping comes from, why it shows up so often after kids, and what it actually does to the trust and emotional safety in your relationship. Most importantly, I’ll show you what to do instead so you can get more of what you need without falling into the resentment spiral.

Tune in to discover:

• Why scorekeeping is a symptom of a deeper issue in your marriage
• How keeping track of “who does what” quietly chips away at trust
• The surprising ways scorekeeping damages emotional safety and intimacy
• What to do when it actually is unfair but you don’t know how else to say it
• Tools to shift from competition to connection (and get your needs met)

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There’s one tool that shows your spouse you care about how they feel, helps rebuild trust, and creates the kind of emotional safety every strong relationship needs. And yet, it’s one of the most misunderstood (and misused) tools in marriage.

I’m talking about apology. Not the kind that shuts a conversation down or smooths things over quickly, but the kind that actually brings you closer. Whether you're someone who avoids saying sorry, finds yourself over-apologizing, or just wishes your spouse would do it better, I’m getting into why this skill is so critical for connection and how to use it well.

Tune in to discover:

• The surprising psychological reasons so many people struggle to apologize
• Why your spouse’s apology might not feel satisfying (and what to do about it)
• What research says about the way men and women apologize differently
• A 3-part formula you can use to give powerful, effective apologies
• How to get more of what you need even if your partner doesn’t apologize often (or at all)

The Us System: The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Sometimes the biggest shift in your marriage starts with getting crystal clear on what you actually need—and saying it out loud.

In this special episode, I’m joined by the incredible Elizabeth Newcamp, military spouse, mom of three, and co-host of Slate’s Care and Feeding podcast, for a real, tender, and honest conversation about resentment, default parenting, emotional labor, and what it means to truly feel seen in your relationship.

We talk about the invisible mental load, how resentment shows up even when you want to be a team, and the surprisingly powerful thing Elizabeth did to shift how she and her husband communicate (it gave me chills).

Tune in to discover:

• Why resentment doesn’t mean your marriage is broken
• The invisible load of emotional labor and how to name it clearly
• What happened when Elizabeth wrote her husband the apology she needed to hear
• The surprising power of being explicit about what you need (even when it feels unfair to spell it out)
• Why real change in marriage takes intention, communication, and practice

Connect with Elizabeth:

• Care and Feeding Podcast: https://slate.com/podcasts/care-and-feeding

Connect with Lindsay:

• FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

• Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

• Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

You’ve heard the advice: “Never go to bed angry,” “Happy wife, happy life,” “If it’s hard, you married the wrong person.” But what if I told you that a lot of the messages we’ve been fed about healthy marriages are just plain wrong?

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the real reasons so many couples feel disconnected or overwhelmed after kids and how these common myths are setting you up to struggle. If your marriage hasn’t felt easy, or you’ve wondered why all the “right” things don’t seem to work, this one is for you.

I’ll walk you through the biggest lies we’ve been told about marriage, why they’re so harmful, and what actually helps create connection, support, and partnership that lasts.

Tune in to discover:

• The number one reason you were never set up for success in marriage
• Why the mental load is still invisible even to the person carrying it
• The truth about conflict in front of your kids (and why it can actually help)
• What to do when your efforts to fix things don’t seem to work
• Why your marriage won’t bounce back on its own after a baby

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Do you ever feel like sharing your feelings with your spouse only leads to defensiveness, frustration, or being completely misunderstood? Like you’re trying to express something real and vulnerable, but instead you end up managing their reaction or feeling more alone than before? You're not broken (and neither is your marriage) but this episode explains exactly what’s getting in the way of the emotional safety and connection you crave.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through one of the most common (and least talked about) dynamics that makes emotional validation feel impossible in marriage, and how you can change it.

Tune in to discover:

• What the “I failed” filter is, and how it sabotages connection
• Why your spouse may not be validating you, even if they think they are
• A realistic mindset shift around what validation actually looks like
• The biggest validation trap couples fall into (and how to get out of it)
• Scripts to use when you want to feel heard, and when your partner needs to feel cared for

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Real talk: Marriage after kids can feel like one more thing you don’t have time or energy for. Between work, parenting, logistics, and exhaustion, even the thought of improving your marriage can feel overwhelming. But here’s the truth: your marriage doesn’t need more time or money—it needs intention, consistency, and the right tools (even just a few minutes a day can make a huge difference).

In this episode, I’m sharing how to shift your marriage without adding anything more to your plate. You’ll learn exactly how to connect with your spouse in powerful, bite-sized ways that actually fit into your busy life.

Tune in to discover:

• Why time and money aren’t actually what’s holding your marriage back
• What to do when “I don’t have time” becomes the default response
• One-minute connection tools you can use (that are backed by science!)
• How to create emotional safety without big conversations or grand gestures
• What really needs to happen for you to prioritize your marriage every single day

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

You know I always keep it real with you, and this episode is no different—my marriage is in a rut. Not in crisis, not in shutdown, but just… off. More bickering, more distance, less connection. And if I’m being honest, it’s been really hard.

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on what’s going on, why I think we got here, and what we’re doing to climb out of it. Because ruts are part of every relationship, and they don’t mean your marriage is broken. But they do require intention, support, and some solid tools to move through them.

If you’ve ever felt like your marriage was stuck in a harder season, I hope this one gives you encouragement and the clarity to take a step forward.

Tune in to discover:

• Why even strong couples end up in ruts (and what causes them)
• What “safe haven abuse” is and how it shows up in everyday stress
• Why systemic stress after big life transitions (like having kids) can tank your connection
• The daily habits and conversations that help us reset and reconnect
• A brand new tool I created to help you build (or rebuild) the emotional support system your marriage needs

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Ever find yourself planning a celebration (like Father’s Day) while quietly thinking, “But I’m the one doing everything”? When it feels like your involvement in the family is mandatory and your partner’s is optional, that disconnect can lead to resentment, disconnection, and burnout. In this episode, I’m getting real about this dynamic so many moms face—and sharing what you can actually do about it.

Whether it’s Father’s Day, your spouse’s birthday, or any other moment that asks you to celebrate someone who feels like a part-time participant in family life, this episode gives you practical ways to handle the emotional load and honor your own boundaries.

Tune in to discover:

• What to do when celebrating your spouse feels loaded with resentment
• The deeper reason it feels like your involvement is mandatory and theirs is optional
• How I handled this dynamic in my own marriage (even with an involved spouse)
• Why this is not just about effort, but about systems and conversations
• How to show up authentically, without gaslighting yourself or faking it

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Even in the healthiest marriages, disappointment is inevitable—especially after kids. Maybe your spouse forgets something important, doesn't show up how you hoped, or just doesn’t respond the way you needed in that moment. It’s frustrating, lonely, and can stir up a lot of resentment if it isn’t dealt with well.

In this episode, I’m walking you through how I personally deal with those moments of disappointment in my own marriage, and the tools I use with clients to keep these experiences from quietly unraveling connection. If you’ve ever felt let down by your partner (or struggled when your partner felt let down by you), this episode is for you.

Tune in to discover:

• Why disappointment hits harder after kids—and how to make sense of it
• How I stopped reacting and started responding when I felt disappointed
• The exact process I use before communicating hurt (and why it matters)
• How to turn disappointment into a conversation that actually strengthens your marriage
• What it actually takes to release resentment and rebuild connection

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call: 

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids