Maybe Baby

Today we’ve got: a recently out queer person who’s new partner is pressuring them to become poly for political reasons, a friend who’s gone “eyebrow blind,” a boyfriend who recently confessed to being a “deeply closeted bisexual,” a toxic ex our questioner wants to sleep with, an in-law’s mortgage gift offer gone wrong, and finally a boyfriend who eats so much junk food it’s giving our questioner the ick. Love the questions, you guys are unstoppable.

Hey!

Last week I wrote about personal and political scapegoats and the heaven/hell of having something to blame all your problems on. The original inspiration for that essay was, randomly, a recent experience I had taking a new license photo, which had me thinking about the beauty industry in a new way, as a kind of scapegoat industrial complex. In the end, I didn’t mention beauty in the essay because it felt like a whole separate topic, one I’d rather explore in conversation. So I invited beauty critic Jessica DeFino on the podcast to discuss it.

Jessica writes FLESH WORLD and is, to me, a consistently steadying voice in the headache of modern beauty discourse. I asked her to help me explore the idea of scapegoating in beauty and naturally this lead us all over the place, from the classic cosmetic procedure debate (a mini version of which took place in my podcast comments a couple weeks ago) to our own beauty scapegoats. I hope we were delicate enough with our language to avoid making anyone feel attacked! I think and hope we all have the same goals and are just trying to collectively figure out a humane way forward. (If you missed Jessica’s first appearance on my podcast, you can find it here.) (Also shout out to my episode with the GOAT Barry Schwartz, who I mention in this ep.)

If you’re a free sub, welcome to the podcast! The episodes normally run on Wednesdays for my paid subs only, but I’m sharing today’s with everyone as a kind of part 2 to last week’s essay. You can listen through Substack (the site, the app) or your favorite podcast app by clicking the “Listen via…” button underneath the podcast player above.

Also, trust I tell the (stupid) license story in detail, and on account of my journalistic integrity, have provided the photos below…

Thanks for listening,Haley

p.s. ICYMI:-Lots of good discussion/analysis about Hannah Horvath and Fleabag in the discussion thread comments last Wednesday.-So many good recs for movies to watch with your kids (that don’t suck) under 15 things last week.

A forbidden work crush, a boyfriend who’s taking a new hobby too seriously, an “overprotective” boyfriend, a hot guy who isn’t good in bed, a woman questioning whether to get a boob job, and a meet-cute involving rabies.

Hey!

Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we’ve got seven questions: On an unfortunate selfie face (obviously we talk about this for like 30 minutes), an ill-conceived butt slap, a semantic in-law problem, a fear-of-authoritarianism relationship gap, a nose-picking coworker, a friend fully ignoring another friend’s pregnancy, and a married neighbor who won’t stop hitting on our question asker. Great questions as always!

Some important photographic evidence of Danny’s much-discussed new haircut:

Thanks for listening!Haley

Hey!

Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we chit chat for a loooong time then answer six reader questions. We discuss:

* a meet-cute-gone-wrong (when she finds his Instagram)

* how much a woman can expect her husband to change his lifestyle when they’re trying to get pregnant (and his semen analysis was so-so)

* whether it’s gauche to invite yourself to social events

* what to do when you’re several years into a relationship and trying to make peace with your doubts (rather than leave)

* what to do when a friend gives you a bad poem to hang on your wall

* and how to manage vastly different sex drives in a relationship.

Amazing questions as always! And a reminder that the link/number to ask your own is at the bottom of every Maybe Baby email.

Thanks for listening!Haley

Ladies (gender-inclusive),

It’s that time of the month! Danny’s back and we’re answering seven questions today. We have a will-they-won’t-they (on a trivia team), stoner in-laws who want to take care of the baby, a new kind of depression, a little choir drama, an annoying friend who wants to take a roadtrip, a guy who won’t help out his broke girlfriend, and someone who’s being extorted by her mailman (lol). Great stuff this month!!

Danny’s headshot as promised in the intro of this episode:

Thanks for listening!Haley

Hello!

So happy to be back with a Voice Note, a.k.a. solo podcast, for the first time in a while. This week I’m talking about a big lesson I learned last year (in my case about childcare) that might be relevant as you think about setting goals or resolutions for 2025.

Missed you,Haley

Hello and welcome back to Dear Danny!

Today we’ll be discussing the ethical boundaries of “boys night,” who should foot the bill on a date, the complexities of addiction inside a relationship, the reason men love-bomb (from a love-bomber himself), how to handle a relative falling for a romance scam, and a bachelor trip gone sus. Reallllly good questions everyone. We love you so much.

Also, if you’re reading this as a free subscriber, the free Q&A this round is the ethical boundaries of boys night (a civilized 20-minute episode).

Thanks for listening!Haley

Hey!

It’s mid-month which means it’s time for Danny and me to answer your burning questions. So hard to choose. This round we picked six: On navigating PMS-inspired fights (when you don’t want your feelings invalidated but also know you’re being a little cuckoo), how to have a serious reckoning with some difficult in-laws, how to be less depressed in the…

Hi!

Welcome back to Dear Danny. Today we’ve got NINE questions to answer: on “innocent” cheating, a boyfriend with a coke habit, a clingy coworker, a 12-year relationship that’s never felt exactly right, a friends-to-lovers arc, three separate questions on sex-troubled relationships, and a regretful ex-boyfriend. So much to cover so little time! Thank you as always for trusting us with your great questions. There are many we can’t get to but your time and energy is so cherished and appreciated!!

Hope you have a nice Sunday,Haley

ps.