Hi!

Back with a Voice Note today about aging, and especially the cultural scripts around what happens as you do it. On Sunday I mentioned that my 30s have been more dynamic than cultural scripts indicated they would, and in this episode I talk more about what I meant by that. This is not a diatribe about what it means to be any particular age, but rather what I think it means to age (a.k.a. continue to be alive) in general.

Hope you enjoy!Haley

This week I invited Avi and Harling back on the podcast to debrief on Nathan Fielder’s new show The Rehearsal and all the dramatic discourse surrounding it. Two pieces we reference are “The Cruel and Arrogant Gaze of Nathan Fielder’s The Rehearsal,” by Richard Brody for The New Yorker and “Missed Connections: How to Tell if Nathan For You Is For You” a 2016 essay by Emma Healey for The LA Review of Books. We also dabble in some Love Island discussion and weigh in on The Bear.

Good morning,

I asked my good friend Harling Ross to come back onto the podcast today to discuss Leslie Jamison’s essay “Dreaming in Broad Daylight” for Astra Mag, which we both loved. This conversation is about the piece specifically, but also about what it means to write honestly (versus “authentically” or through confession), why a lot of modern writing falls short, and in the last segment, what we secretly daydream about, no holds barred. We also randomly talk about going to the gym…

Pardon the New York City sounds in the background, we recorded in my office downtown.

Thanks for listening!Haley

Hi!

Danny’s back and rested up like a good boy. Today we have a full ep for you answering five questions: on finding a boyfriend’s secret Twitter account, on grappling with the politics of weddings, on dreading going to weddings, on the loneliness of living alone, and how to know if it’s worth committing to a partner forever. Thank you so much as always for calling in. Your messages literally make me cry…

Hope you enjoy,Haley

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Hey!

Very excited to welcome the psychologist Dr. Barry Schwartz to the podcast today. I first spoke with Barry for this piece I wrote for the Times (and loved him), and was super grateful when he agreed to speak again for the Maybe Baby podcast. Barry is famous for his research on choice (especially how, at a certain point, freedom of choice increases anxiety), but his work touches so many related topics, like luck, justice, and politics. His most recent research is on how we respond when we believe our choices reflect who we are as people. I write and think about this sort of thing all the time, and was excited to ask him about what he’s found in his research.

In this conversation we touch on: comparison culture on social media, class differences when it comes to choice, the benefits and perils of individualism, political in-fighting, choice feminism (lol), dating and marriage (!), college admissions, and more. And I feel like we could have talked so much longer!

Hope you enjoy,Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to Labor Notes, “a media and organizing project that has been the voice of union activists who want to put the movement back in the labor movement since 1979.”

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You’re receiving my Tuesday podcast because you’re a paying subscriber of Maybe Baby. Thank you! To listen in your preferred app, click “Listen in podcast app.” Then it should automatically populate there every week.

Hey!

Welcome back to Dear Danny, my podcast version of Dear Baby wherein my friend Danny and I discuss your questions and more. Today we’ll be talking about cologne, body image, infidelity, moving in with a partner, road trips, how to make friends as an adult, and whether Danny is nice enough on this podcast. I also randomly throw in a Dave Chapelle take in the beginning of the ep that I regret! Lol. Because ultimately I’m less interested in whether Chapelle is worthy of being a thought leader and more interested in how we, as a culture, respond to bad ideas. But I guess that’s an essay for another time. Anyway thank you for being here, and thanks for dealing with Danny’s underground-sounding audio (he literally was underground when we recorded, in his defense).

Hope you enjoy!Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to Make the Road New York, the largest progressive grassroots immigrant-led organization in New York state, focusing on issues like education, housing, immigration, policing, and labor justice.

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You’re receiving my Tuesday podcast because you’re a paying subscriber of Maybe Baby. Thank you! To listen in your preferred app, click “Listen in podcast app.” Then it should automatically populate there every week.

Hi!

Welcome back to Pop Quiz, my semi-regular pop culture roundup, this time with returning expert Avi Bonnerjee and perfect human Michelle Uranowitz (maybe you remember her from this ep about spiraling on Instagram). This week we discuss everything from Lorde’s rebrand to John Mulaney’s PR disaster to my latest Instagram follow. And so much more! Although sadly we recorded this before the VMAs or the Met Gala like idiots….

Some links to things we mention:

Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcastChristy Carlson Romano’s YouTube channelLorde’s “Solar Power” music videoClairo on Fallon“Twitter Has a Parasocial Relationship With the Word Parasocial,” by Sarah Hagi for GawkerJohn Mulaney’s weird Seth Myers appearanceThe Housewife & the Hustler on Hulu“The Reality of Reality Television,” by Mark Grief for N+1Salon.com on (of course) Mike Lindell@regret_counter_Hunter S. Thompson’s morning routine

I’m sure I’m missing some but anyway hope you enjoy!

Thanks for listening,Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to Center for Popular Democracy, a pro-worker, pro-immigrant advocacy group and network of over 50 community organizations working in low-income communities across the United States. They’re currently focused on the eviction crisis.

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You’re receiving my Tuesday podcast because you’re a paying subscriber of Maybe Baby. Thank you! To listen in your preferred app, click “Listen in podcast app.” Then it should automatically populate there every week.

Hi!

Today we’re back with another episode of Dear Danny, in which my friend Danny comes on to discuss and debate five reader questions with me. Up this week:

* Do you think it's possible for women to see themselves as feminist and progressive whilst expecting chivalry from men in a more traditional sense?

* Most of my life feels unspectacular compared to the life I’ve always dreamed of leading. Am I being delusional? How can I cultivate a rich life?

* How do you navigate (really, really) not liking the person your friend is dating? Is it worth it letting this get in the way of your friendship?

* A higher-up at work coached me to try to stop leading with ‘I think’—to just make the statement and it'll be stronger. I notice you use ‘I think’ a lot. Thoughts?

* In some of your writing, you talk about ‘performing personality,’ which I've thought about often. When do you notice yourself performing your personality, and how do you avoid it?

This is a good one! We both cried a bunch before it and generally stayed on topic. I hope you love it.

Thanks for listening,Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to National Bail Out, a collective of abolitionist organizers, lawyers, and activists focused on ending pre-trial detention and mass incarceration through community-based advocacy.

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You’re receiving my Tuesday podcast because you’re a paying subscriber of Maybe Baby. Thank you! To listen in your preferred app, click “Listen in podcast app.” Then it should automatically populate there every week.

Hi!

Today, random man Avi Bonnerjee comes on the pod to discuss this month’s Dear Baby newsletter, which covered woke culture, turning 30, going to therapy, putting out creative work when you’re not confident in it, and getting a tattoo as an overthinking type. Avi has a few different perspectives to add to the mix.

Some links to things we mention:“Race to the Bottom,” by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw for The Baffler“The Therapy App Fantasy,” by Molly Fischer for The CutSeth Godin’s Design Matters interviewTATTOO by Henk Schiffmacher

Thanks for listening!Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to Transgender Law Center, a trans-led organization grounded in legal expertise focused on community-driven strategies to liberate transgender and gender-noncomforing people.

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You’re receiving my Tuesday podcast because you’re a paying subscriber of Maybe Baby. Thank you! To listen in your preferred app, click “Listen in podcast app.” Then it should automatically populate there every week.

Hey!

This week I invited beauty critic Jessica DeFino on the pod to talk about beauty culture. This is a followup to my Sunday newsletter about beauty anxiety. We discuss everything from Botox and the problem with “clean beauty,” to the source of beauty standards and the costs and benefits of divesting from them.

Some links to things we mention + Jessica’s work:

-My own quitting makeup story-Thick by Tracie McMillan Cottom-Adweek’s feature on Dove’s “campaign for real beauty”-Contrapoints’s YouTube essay on beauty-Jessica for Fashionista: “People Are Now Getting Botox & Fillers As Forms of Self-Care”-Jessica for Teen Vogue: “How White Supremacy & Capitalism Influence Beauty Standards”-Jessica for HelloGiggles: “Clean Beauty May Be Non-Toxic, But It Still Sells Toxic Beauty Standards”

You can also check out Jessica’s newsletter, The Unpublishable, where she writes about this stuff every week, or follow her on Instagram.

Thanks for listening!Haley

This month a portion of subscriber proceeds will be redistributed to Transgender Law Center, a trans-led organization grounded in legal expertise focused on community-driven strategies to liberate transgender and gender-noncomforing people.

Give me feedback • Subscribe • Request a free subscription • Ask Dear Baby a question