There is an Irish proverb from the 1500's: "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know - It is better to deal with something bad you know than with something new you don't." 

With regard to the narcissist, What about the devil you though you knew? 

You believed that your narcissistic partner or narcissistic parent would remain static in his/her psychopathology. 

The core real self of the narcissist is fragmented, empty, hollow and bleak. This personality is built on false self beliefs of perfection, extreme self entitlement, omnipotence. 

In addition the narcissist is without a fully developed conscience. The narcissist is like a child at two years of age or younger psychologically and emotionally. 

Without shame or a developed conscience the narcissist moves quickly toward his goals of dominating and controlling others, especially partners, spouses, children. 

When you are involved closely with a narcissist you have struck a deal, some call a deal with the devil, with evil. 

Narcissists tend not to change. As they move through their professional and personal lives these toxic personality traits are ingrained: selfishness, chronic lying, hyper control and manipulation, acts of betrayal.

Narcissists don't evolve; they devolve and regress.

Our current society handsomely rewards successful narcissists. Some reign at the highest tiers of social, economic and professional levels. 

In a current society of no consequences for evil deeds, the narcissist remains unpunished and unremorseful. 

You though you knew the devil inside the narcissist. This turned out to be untrue.

This is how you got taken in believing that you knew the devil in the narcissist:

1. You have been making excuses for him/her for decades.

2.You took the blame that belonged to him or her.

3. You believed that the narcissist would change in time, especially with your many efforts of support and therapy.

4. You became enmeshed with the lux lifestyle and perks you enjoyed. For some partners, this becomes part of their identity and feelings of self entitlement.

At a point of awakening and insight you make the decision to separate yourself from the narcissistic personality- partner, spouse, parent.

Make your plans carefully. Trust yourself and your judgment.

Give yourself credit for becoming a unique individual.

Take care of yourself in every way: sleep, rest, movement/exercise, good nutrition/hydration, using your many creative gifts, developing a close relationship with Nature, quieting the body/mind through yoga, chi gong, prayer, meditation your way. 

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