Mom & Dad are talking baby names in this week’s episode. It sounds like they’re leaning away from “traditional” and towards something a little more left-field… you know you’re keeping an open mind when your family start suggesting the names of their evening meal.

Also, Hannah recounts a recent pregnancy-massage experience that she has very mixed feelings about... and, we finally get to hear how Joel’s "famous-person" poker night went. (Not well).

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Joel saw Take That recently and it reminded him 1) that the two or three songs he knows, he LOVES, and 2) that he once had the honour of singing Never Forget with Gary Barlow, while dressed as a choir boy… or did he?

And, Hannah’s Vinted is popping off big time. The money’s coming in, the unwanted clothes are being sent to loving homes - now to work out if she can get rid of Joel’s smoke machine on there.

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Valentine’s Day is approaching and Joel and Hannah are very excited for their date night activity: conversation starter cards. Sounds like a wild night.

Also, Joel learns the hard way that if your pregnant wife asks if her face is getting "fat", that as a husband, no matter the reality of the perfectly natural changes that are happening to your wonderful wife's body - say NO.

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Hannah has had enough of Joel's inability to fix things around the house and lets him know this in no uncertain terms... she'd also quite him to dress up as a plumber. Surely he can manage that part?

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Joel has put in potentially his worst performance at a Hannah Cooper birthday, ever. Probably something to do with the poor gift selection, excessive varicose vein-related moaning, and taking Hannah to see a film that made her cry. Loads. Joel, accept your pregnant wife/birthday girl’s wrath.

Joel also shares a rather unfortunate story involving a Radio 2 presenter’s party, a dead phone, and legend that is Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Get yourselves comfortable.

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Joel and Hannah both are all about self-improvement on this week's bonus. They're split on the benefits of Turkish cosmetic surgeons though... and if you ever wanted to hear exactly what makes up the long list of habits Hannah would like Joel ot be hypnotised out of, it's your lucky day.

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Joel has had a rather busy week. His hypnosis session with Paul McKenna appears to have worked, could this be farewell to finger-biting?

Mr Dommett has also finally had his varicose veins removed! He’s so happy, he forced Hannah and Producer Joe to look at a picture of said veins - while recording. So, if you’ve ever wanted to hear, in slimy detail, what Joel Dommet’s veins looks like outside of his body, today’s your lucky day...

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It’s 2026 Horoscopes time! Now, Joel is somewhat of a horoscope skeptic, while Hannah's favourite activity is polishing her mystic crystals… two very different schools of thought at play here. No spoilers, but when it comes to Joel, all roads really do seem to lead back to his varicose veins. Hm. Enjoy!

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Joel and Hannah are back - and boy have we missed the chaos. On the menu for today are finger condoms, varicose veins, lymphatic drainage, Gordon Ramsay, grey pubic hairs (or lack thereof) and the rather disturbing knowledge that there are human body parts that continue to grow, almost indefinitely, as you age.

Oh yeh, and Joel’s getting hypnotised by Paul McKenna.

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It’s the final episode of the year! Joel sees off 2025 with a strangely impressive display of obscure shape naming. Judging by the ep title, he’s rather impressed with himself. Hannah’s just worried that if Wilde develops his father's rare talent that he won’t exactly be the coolest kid in school.

The team also decide on their New Year’s resolutions and look back to see whether they’ve managed to tick off this year’s… gold star for anyone remembering before Producer Joe does!

Never Have I Ever will return on Monday 19th January 2026 - have the merriest of Christmases and very happy New Year!

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