Welcome to the last Hot Not Bothered episode! Jess and Caroline tackle some difficult WHATADOs, answering questions about how to date after trauma, how to approach being the only one in your friend group who’s dating, and how to accept being “too much” in the dating world. 

Plus, they talk about being wingmen, how to know if a relationship is good, themed get togethers, and the secret to letting loose and meeting people in public. Also, you don’t want to miss Jess’s stellar Office reference. I feel God in this podcast, what about you?

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Go to ⁠⁠⁠https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone ⁠⁠⁠to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

__

Babies and gentlemen, boy have Jess and Caroline got a hack for feeling better! They talk about achieving small tasks, writing down your moods, and how both can help with ongoing crises. 

Then, they dive into a listener submission asking about how to deal with all the emotions and panic of dating. They discuss relationship anxiety, the age-old question of “is he mad at me?” and what it actually means to “be yourself” around your partner. Plus, a continuation of the conversation around balancing work and life. Are they father villains? You can decide.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE⁠ and get on your way to being your best self.

This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at ⁠⁠⁠https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM

Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠ #skimspartner

___

Who’s ready to complain? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline start us right off with some complaints about gym tours, canceling memberships, and getting yourself motivated to go back to the gym after a little hiatus. This turns into a deeper conversation about emotionally regulating with food and alcohol, and how connection is the antidote for addiction.

Then they follow-up on a few subjects left hanging. What ever happened to Caroline’s “dumb phone”? And how have the shorter hangs and phone calls with friends been going lately? They ruminate on good topics for spending time with friends and, of course, the best Yasso flavors.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.

__

In this episode, Jess and Caroline unpack the “red flags” that might not be red flags at all — or at least, not dealbreakers. What if your date has never been in a serious relationship? What if they voted differently than you in 2016? What if there are some glaring differences? The girls get into the nuance of context, the difference between patterns and one-offs, and how to tell if you’re seeing a warning sign or just someone’s humanity showing. Spoiler: not every flag requires a full evacuation. Some just require a little more digging.

Whether you’re a walking green flag or proudly toxic with a spreadsheet, this one’s for anyone who’s tired of pretending we’re all dating in a vacuum. Let’s talk about when it’s okay — maybe even wise — to stay.

This episode was produced by Caroline Winkler and Abi Newhouse.

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Check out Jess' solo podcast PEAKING!!! - everywhere you get podcasts :)

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠betterhelp.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to get 10% off your first month.

__

In this post-birthday solo episode, Jess is a changed woman. She shares the hacks she used to get the most of her time off, and one in particular might rock everything you've ever known about her.

Then she turns to listener-submitted complaints, covering everything from boob sweat to body image. Jess has been having a lot of personal reactions and reflections when it comes to the recent online movement that thinner is better (#Skinnytok), and she unloads them all in this episode - not because she has answers, but because she deeply relates to those of us who feel the pressure to lose weight for special events and look small for other people's approval. If that conversation isn't for you today, feel free to skip ahead to 21:55.

Jess also gets her hands dirty with two friendship-related whatados, which both seem more complicated than they really are once she breaks them down. When to chalk it up to negativity and impose boundaries? When to compromise vs. when to speak your mind? She has opinions.

Plus, labubus and The Bachelor, and a very special announcement that her first podcast - Peaking - is back! Find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more to support Jess beyond this space.

This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠ #skimspartner

Go to ⁠⁠https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone ⁠⁠to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

__

It's the Hater Hour. In this spicy solo episode, Caroline tackles two listener dilemmas that are so deeply unhinged in the best way: “Comparing Myself to His Ex” and “Ghosting My BFF.” Ever found yourself six months deep in his ex’s Instagram, convinced she’s hotter, kinder, and owns a Dyson Airwrap? Caroline’s been there—and she’s calling out the delusion. Expect hot takes on comparison spirals, fake confidence, and why stalking your boyfriend’s ex is basically emotional self-harm in cute packaging.

Then we pivot from romance chaos to friendship crimes: yes, we're talking about ghosting your bestie. What do you do when your BFF is toxic, fair-weather, and impossibly demanding. To ghost? Or not to ghost? To confront? Or run? If you’ve ever wanted to be forgiven and a little feral, this episode’s your church.

This episode was produced by your hater, Caroline Winkler.

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Get up to 10 FREE meals at ⁠⁠https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM

__

Kooks, we’ve got a fun one for you. First, Jess and Caroline discuss the perfect response to getting ghosted, which leads them into a deeper conversation about dealing with haters on the internet, and how C handles rude comments on YouTube. 

Then, Jess talks about doing things slower, which leads to an epiphany about self actualization and striving to “be better.” They wrap things up with a complaint about Variety’s popular Actors on Actors series, inequalities in acting and media, and what the best kind of representation looks like for underserved groups of people. Kisses!

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠nfepodapparel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠betterhelp.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to get 10% off your first month.

__

Remember the game Rush Hour? Ever feel like that’s just your day-to-day life? This week Jess is picking up exactly what Caroline is putting down, and if you’re anything like the two of them (i.e. anxious, people pleasers, short), you probably will too. Commiserating over their recent stressful work weeks, J and C talk about their stress responses and coping mechanisms when it comes to feeling overwhelmed. Caroline comes in hot with a new mental shift – make it feel like a scavenger hunt – and though Jess is dubious of the suggestion at first, she’s bought in by the end, searching for a man in a green hat to take a photo with on a park bench.

They also share some fresh complaints about things they’ve seen on the internet lately and where they do (and don’t) put their phones. Things get kooky, y’all!

This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠nfepodapparel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠betterhelp.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to get 10% off your first month.

__

Do you feel that heat wave? We’re not bothered. It’s time for Jess and Caroline to enter the dating waters once more, to discuss listener’s burning questions about all things modern love. They start by talking through a love interest who doesn’t communicate well, weigh the pros and cons of sharing location with your partner, and then discuss the phenomenon of catching feelings only for your crush to pull away.

They round out the episode by figuring out what it means when the person you're dating updates their dating profile, which leads into a deeper discussion about overanalyzing, asking the hard questions early, and identifying patterns in order to believe yourself. Get ready to feel empowered, kooks.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠nfepodapparel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Go to ⁠https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone ⁠to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

__

Kooks, do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by a missed call from a long-distance friend? Or inundated with requests for in-person hangs? Jess and Caroline talk through feeling crazy for complaining about friendship, even though the social overwhelm is STRONG right now. J offers some tips to a friend who called in to the pod about these very problems, and guides C through her own similar issues.

Plus, the two discuss a new skincare routine, boundaries in friendship, Sherpa guides, and of course, the fact that Hot Not Bothered Summer is back next week! Get your notebook ready…there’s some hot tips in this episode to help you feel sane.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Share with a friend!

Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!

Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!