This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM

__

What’s up, kooks? Ever had a parasocial relationship? Us, too. Jess and Caroline discuss the creators they relate to, why those relationships are special, and why they’re kind of weird, too. Up next: a complaint! J has a weird retail experience, which leads the two to discuss the weird blame game people play, and how built-up resentment equals the end of customer service. 

Then, they discuss motivation from another angle. It’s kind of a chicken/egg situation: does motivation come first, or does action come first and then motivation? They ruminate on the difference between motivation and momentum, and consider that passion may just be a part of the grind. Is it luck or hard work? Plus, ‘tis the season: C has been having some wedding-related nightmares…

P.S. Here’s the Peaking episode that Jess referenced on the fallacy of hard work.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Hi there, kooks! This week, Caroline and Jess have a surprise party to debrief on. C was shocked to discover friends and family—including J—at her parent’s house, and is honestly still recovering. J tells her side of events and then the two discuss feeling loved and the best ways to pull off that sort of surprise.

Then J reveals that she and her partner traded their traditional social roles at a party recently, and it made her consider again if she’s doing too much in her relationship(s). What are the ways we connect with people? What could a party be like if we didn’t try so hard to connect people? And what would life feel like if we knew the line between helping and harming the possible connections around us? C and J talk all things breaking codependency and then offer a little homework assignment to you: it’s easy, ostensibly—be baby.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone ⁠⁠⁠⁠to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

__

House party! Jess is in town and she and Caroline record IN PERSON from Caroline’s living room. J finally gets the down low on C’s cat, and it’s everything you ever hoped for. They talk all things cat life (and sing a little jingle) before diving into a few work WHATADOs.

The first revolves around finding what you’re passionate about, and how to make sure your content connects with people while keeping the spark alive for yourself. So much existentialism! The next focuses on the balance between loving your job and hating your coworkers, and the last touches on advocating for yourself when work you’re capable of keeps getting given to other people. Werk werk werk werk werk, baby boos!

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠ #skimspartner

__

Welcome to the N4E megachurch, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline navigate the multiverse, exploring how reading and horror movies make them think of different versions of themselves on some parallel timeline, and how gamifying everything leads to some odd religious connections. 

It truly is a multiverse of topics in this episode, as they get into sexual harassment at work, dealing with doubt about your gut feelings, young people with too much power, and how putting people on a pedestal is a dangerous game. Plus, they celebrate a huge milestone! If you were wondering, J and C will always hold you in the palm of their hands. Bless up.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE⁠⁠⁠ and get on your way to being your best self.

This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM

__

Feeling spicy? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline are ready to serve up a few hot takes. They discuss baristas complimenting you, tipping culture, sci-fi movies, toilet humor, oreos in water (!), motorcycles, and coed bachelorette parties and baby showers. 

But they don’t stop there! In fact, these topics are merely entries into a world of even deeper hot takes. They dive into their confusion about cities and states, breastfeeding rumors, scary movies, best pantry snacks, and yes, Jess tries once more to get more info about Caroline’s new cat. Will she reveal anything? You’ll just have to find out.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠nfepodapparel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE⁠⁠ and get on your way to being your best self.

__

Y’all! It’s time for the dumb phone update everyone’s been waiting for. Caroline and Jess talk through C’s transformative experience of being somewhat off the grid. They discuss all things phones and social media, from graphic design meant to keep you online to deleting social media to what they’re doing instead of scrolling.

This conversation leads to deeper conclusions about being committed to having a life full of peace, and J ruminates on a random day out that led her to feel more alive than she has in a long time. They discuss the point of life, planning less, and letting boredom happen. Slow down babies! And warning: you’re gonna want to toss your phone after this one.

More about Light Phone here: https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Welcome to the last Hot Not Bothered episode! Jess and Caroline tackle some difficult WHATADOs, answering questions about how to date after trauma, how to approach being the only one in your friend group who’s dating, and how to accept being “too much” in the dating world. 

Plus, they talk about being wingmen, how to know if a relationship is good, themed get togethers, and the secret to letting loose and meeting people in public. Also, you don’t want to miss Jess’s stellar Office reference. I feel God in this podcast, what about you?

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Go to ⁠⁠⁠https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone ⁠⁠⁠to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

__

Babies and gentlemen, boy have Jess and Caroline got a hack for feeling better! They talk about achieving small tasks, writing down your moods, and how both can help with ongoing crises. 

Then, they dive into a listener submission asking about how to deal with all the emotions and panic of dating. They discuss relationship anxiety, the age-old question of “is he mad at me?” and what it actually means to “be yourself” around your partner. Plus, a continuation of the conversation around balancing work and life. Are they father villains? You can decide.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE⁠ and get on your way to being your best self.

This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at ⁠⁠⁠https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM

Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠ #skimspartner

___

Who’s ready to complain? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline start us right off with some complaints about gym tours, canceling memberships, and getting yourself motivated to go back to the gym after a little hiatus. This turns into a deeper conversation about emotionally regulating with food and alcohol, and how connection is the antidote for addiction.

Then they follow-up on a few subjects left hanging. What ever happened to Caroline’s “dumb phone”? And how have the shorter hangs and phone calls with friends been going lately? They ruminate on good topics for spending time with friends and, of course, the best Yasso flavors.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠nfepodapparel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

__

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.

__

In this episode, Jess and Caroline unpack the “red flags” that might not be red flags at all — or at least, not dealbreakers. What if your date has never been in a serious relationship? What if they voted differently than you in 2016? What if there are some glaring differences? The girls get into the nuance of context, the difference between patterns and one-offs, and how to tell if you’re seeing a warning sign or just someone’s humanity showing. Spoiler: not every flag requires a full evacuation. Some just require a little more digging.

Whether you’re a walking green flag or proudly toxic with a spreadsheet, this one’s for anyone who’s tired of pretending we’re all dating in a vacuum. Let’s talk about when it’s okay — maybe even wise — to stay.

This episode was produced by Caroline Winkler and Abi Newhouse.

__

Check out Jess' solo podcast PEAKING!!! - everywhere you get podcasts :)

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

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You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

And don't forget about our APPAREL:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!