Want to become a better conversationalist? You should! Good conversations can open doors, build friendships, and even change your life. But in an age of goldfish attention spans, hot takes, and chronic fear of being seen, real connection is harder than ever. The good news? Conversation is an art, but it’s also a science. In this episode, we walk through 5 things great conversationalists do differently, according to philosophy and psychology. If you want to feel less robotic on dates, network without cringing, vibe better with your friends, or just not panic when someone says “tell me about yourself,” this one’s for you. 

EPISODE OUTLINE:

00:00 Intro

04:07 1. Seeing conversation as a skill

11:03 2. Starting lots of conversations

18:30 3. Asking more questions

25:06 4. Leaving room for the unexpected

29:08 5. Expecting reality, not hyperreality 

33:27 Lightning round recap 

36:19 Challenge 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Simulacra and Simulation, Jean Baudrillard (1981)

TALK: The Science of Conversation and The Art of Being Ourselves, Alison Wood Brooks (2025)

Feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed? Crashing out for the third time this week? Good news! Philosophy, the sad girl discipline of academia, has lots of advice for you. This episode breaks down 5 reasons why we get stuck according to philosophical greats like Franz Kafka, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and more. We’ll talk about practical strategies to climb out of your spiral and start feeling like yourself again. If your search history includes ‘why am I like this’ and ‘how to feel okay again,’ press play.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro 

04:53 You’re stuck because…

05:00 1. You’re free 

05:18 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)

06:04 We’re condemned to be free (Sartre)

07:13 The fig tree allegory (Sylvia Plath)

13:21 2. You’re choosing information over experience 

13:35 Mary’s Room hypothetical (Jackson)

22:49 3. You’ve outgrown a version of yourself

23:02 The Metamorphosis (Kafka) 

26:54 4. You’re expecting sense in senseless places

27:04 The Trial (Kafka)

35:14 5. You think nothing matters 

35:24 Mechanical life (Camus)

36:34 The moment of the absurd (Camus)

37:13 The myth of Sisyphus (Camus) 

40:08 Lightning round recap 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

On Anxiety, Soren Kierkegaard (1844)

Being and Nothingness, Jean Paul Sartre (1943)

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath (1963)

The Big Secret, Deepak Chopra (2008)

Epiphenomenal Qualia, Frank Jackson (1982) 

The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka (1915)

The Trial, Franz Kafka (1925)

The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus (1942)

19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE 

00:00 Intro

06:34 The camel spirit 

11:32 The lion spirit 

17:25 The child spirit 

25:40 Lightning round recap 

26:43 Challenge

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! 

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Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more. 

EPISODE OUTLINE 

00:00 Intro

02:14 1. Take notes  

06:57 2. Write by hand

08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber

11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect 

14:54 5. Change your conversation norms

18:08 6. Practice hard attention

21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule

22:33 8. Chew your brain food

23:54 9. Show what you don’t know

26:20 Newsletter recs 

27:41 Philosophy podcast recs

28:08 Poetry recs

29:40 Lightning round recap 

So your life just changed. Maybe you moved, your relationship ended, or you quit a job. You've found yourself in new territory without your usual routines, roles, or scripts. You're Googling “who even am I?” every night.

Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In this episode, I’m sharing 8 things I wish I knew during past seasons of change in my life. The in-between is uncomfortable, but it's also full of possibility. If you’re in a messy middle right now, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE 

03:35 How to follow your intuition 

06:38 How to know the right choice

10:50 The effect of your ego

14:10 The impact of who you keep close 

19:27 The importance of confrontation

23:21 The impact of tiny choices 

26:40 How to shift into the next chapter 

28:59 Hard versus wrong 

SOURCES

Smoke filled room study 

Balloon study 

bell hooks, all about love 

Audre Lorde essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action

Churning of the ocean story from the Mahabharata 

How you spend your weeks is how you spend your life. In this episode, I walk through five powerful philosophical, psychological and spiritual concepts—including Nietzsche’s eternal return, Aristotle’s golden mean, the planning fallacy, and Parkinson’s Law—that will help you create a weekly routine you love. I also let you in on my own weekly routine, including a Sunday night ritual to rewire your brain and my top tips for planning weeks that change your life. 

EPISODE OUTLINE

04:21 Nietzsche’s eternal return

12:27 Aristotle’s golden mean 

19:04 The jar principle & Parkinson’s law

23:16 “I don’t have time” vs. “it’s not a priority”

25:28 The planning fallacy (Kahneman) 

31:59 Dharma

37:22 My weekly routine

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! 

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The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is  it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural

07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do 

16:07 3. You should care what some people think 

18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people

19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually

26:21 6. You don’t know what people think

30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are

35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own

37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good

39:27 Lightning round recap

42:29 Challenge

EPISODE LINKS

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz 

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl 

• The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

• The Art of Living by Epictetus 

• Spotlight Effect Study 

• Social Rejection Triggers Physical Pain Brain Centers 

• Surgeon General's Report on the Health Impact of Loneliness 

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! 

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE 

00:00 Intro

05:49 Sigmund Freud

09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth)

10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows

12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl)

13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE) 

14:38 The masks vs. the Self

15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man

17:15 Using logic to hide from passion 

17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE)

19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions 

21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity

23:08 Sartre’s concept of bad faith 

24:12 Simone de Beauvoir on social class 

26:41 The upper limit theory (Gay Hendricks)

27:25 But also, the playing field isn’t level

27:48 Sartre & de Beauvoir reflection questions

29:27 Heidegger: inauthenticity due to death denial 

31:33 Authenticity vs. ethics and compassion

33:23 Authenticity vs. self-protection 

34:01 Kant’s categorical imperative

34:48 Socrates: dying on the hill of authenticity

35:26 Socrates and Kant reflection questions

36:46 Nietzsche on creation of the true self 

37:17 Does everyone have a calling?

38:19 Jealousy as a clue to your passions

38:33 The “love it for you, want it for me” folder

39:53 Nothing grows if you don’t water it

40:18 Nietzsche reflection questions  

41:50 Lightning round recap 

EPISODE LINKS

• Carl Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959) and Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)

• Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness (1943)

• Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (1949)

• Authenticity episode of In Our Time: Philosophy

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck.

EPISODE OUTLINE 

00:00 Intro 

02:00 My “what now?” rut

06:46 Roadmap out of your rut 

08:06 1. Get your story straight

08:29 You haven’t ruined your life 

09:48 My bar exam story

15:48 You are not alone

16:26 Lifequakes

17:55 You are not lazy 

18:54 Are you burnt out?

20:44 The classic existential crash out 

22:14 Are you in functional freeze?

23:42 Perfectionism-procrastination-paralysis cycle

26:31 2. Make a plan 

26:47 Friction audit (Adam Alter)

30:01 Smallest possible actions 

32:47 Lower the bar or you won’t reach for it

33:43 The photography class experiment 

38:13 3. Have grace for yourself 

38:21 How dare you say you’re not trying?

39:20 What you have to give right now is enough

39:53 Lightning round recap 

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability?

In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you.

A few things we dive into:

• A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games)
• The role of the “spark” in attraction
• The psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20s
• The stigma of being single

• The commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship)

Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me tear up a little. Whether you’re trying to understand your patterns, make sense of someone else's, or just feel a little less alone in the dating trenches, this one will stick with you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro
02:51 The formula for attraction
04:21 1. Proximity
07:10 2. Similarity
11:43 3. Familiarity
14:03 The 3 month rule
16:55 The curse of comfort
19:31 The sunk cost fallacy
21:06 The fear of starting over
22:37 4. Reciprocity
23:13 The harm of playing games
26:36 5. A spark
27:19 The psychology of common relationship pitfalls
27:31 1. Repetition compulsion
31:04 2. The stigma of being single
36:45 3. Situationships
38:23 The commitment-readiness scale
40:21 Permission slip to grieve your situationship <3
42:09 Lightning round recap
43:26 Last question: what would you tell past you?

PERSON IN PROGRESS

If you liked this episode, you will love PERSON IN PROGRESS. Out now and available everywhere you buy books. Get your copy today!

PERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEG

PERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEG

PERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEG

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

PS - This is the study I mentioned that found that single women are one of the happiest demographics on Earth. And an article about it here!