Oh, They are Mad! with Darrin Peppard

Power Quote: “Listen more, talk less.”

Teaser:

Here’s the email I received that inspired this episode: I’m wondering if you have an episode of your podcast focusing on dealing with unreasonable parents. This year has been exceptionally difficult regarding the attacks I’m receiving from parents.  Either they are offended when I discipline their child because their child is innocent, or they are offended that I disciplined their child without contacting them prior to the discipline so they can solve the problem for me.  I understand that discipline should not be the focus of my day and it typically is not.  I also try really hard to make sure 20% of the kids do not consume 80% of my time.  But how do I not allow the parents to consume me?  In each case, the student has owned it, accepted the consequence and moved on… while at school.  Then they get home and tell a different story about a big bad AP who is targeting them.I have some knowledge in this area but wanted some additional expertise so I’m partnering with my friend and colleague Darrin Peppard of the Leaning Into Leadership podcast and we are recording our conversation to be simulcast on both shows. Before we get started…

Sponsor Spot 1:I’d like to thank Kaleidoscope Adventures for sponsoring today’s show. Lots of companies can help you organize class trips, but Kaleidoscope helps you organize adventures – because isn’t that what student trips should be? Kaleidscope is a full-service tour company offering a range of adventure opportunities and they excel at customizing trips based on your unique context, needs, and goals. Kaleidoscope offers exceptional travel experiences for students (and their group leaders). Thinking about student travel? Reach out to Kaleidoscope using the link in the show notes.

Show Intro

Guest Bio:

As a 'recovering' high school principal and former school district superintendent, Darrin Peppard draws from over 25 years of experience in education, including 13 years in leadership roles. Darrin is renowned for his expertise in school culture and climate, coaching emerging leaders, and his culture-first approach that emphasizes keen insight and a dynamic personality. His accolades include being named the 2016 Wyoming Secondary School Principal of the Year by WASSP/NASSP, the 2015 Jostens Renaissance Educator of the Year, and induction into the Jostens Renaissance Hall of Fame in 2019. He holds a Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Wyoming (2017). Through his book "Road to Awesome: The Journey of a Leader," Darrin shares strategies for maintaining a positive attitude, elevating others, and finding joy in leadership. Co-authored with Katie Kinder, his latest work, "Culture First Classrooms: Leadership, Relationships, and Practices that Transform Schools," provides proven methods for building transformative educational environments. Darrin also hosts the "Leaning into Leadership" podcast, where he discusses decision-making, cognitive biases, and more with industry experts.

Warmup questions:

·      We always like to start with a celebration. What are you celebrating today?

Questions/Topics/Prompts

We could look at four phases:

·       Building capital in advance (deposits before withdraws)

o    Identify students and families who may need extra care

o    Parents want to be heard

o    Make early and positive contacts. Have the teacher do the same (teach them how)

·       The meeting with the student

o    Begin with care – Are you okay?

o    Separate the behavior from the student

o    Have them write their version

o    Listen

·       The post-conversation/information for parent

o    Can have the student (with you) call the parent

o    Make sure parent knows exactly what to expect

o    End with optimism and affirm the value and dignity of the student

·       Problem discussions

o    Clarify what the problem is

o    Do not take it personally (may not be about you) – DPs basketball example

o   Remember parents may have prior negative experiences

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Closing questions:

·      What part of your own leadership are you still trying to get better at?

·      If listeners could take just one thing away from today’s podcast, what would it be?

·      Before we go, is there anything else that you’d like to share with our listeners?

·      Where can people learn more about you and your work…

Summary/wrap up

·      Think three phases: before, during, after

·      Parents want to be heard

·      Know the story you are telling yourself about the parent

Resources:

·      The Assistant Principal Podcast: #199 “Are You Okay?” with Jamie Brown and #237 Helping Teachers Call Home

·      Leaning Into Leadership: Episode 68: When Calling Parents isn't Your Calling with Crystal Frommert

Special thanks to the amazing Ranford Almond for the great music on the show. Please support Ranford and the show by checking out his music!