316: Small Practices to Live and Lead Better
Note: Most of these notes are ai generated from a transcript of the show.
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Opening and Context
Frederick opens by noting that asking for help is itself a leadership lesson, and introduces Mara as a long-time collaborator returning to the show . Both acknowledge having a difficult morning, and frame their conversation as an example of drawing energy from human connection .
Celebrations
Frederick celebrates a speed dating activity he ran with Darren Pepperd at the Innovative Schools Summit in Nashville, where over 200 school leaders participated in four rounds of 60 to 90 second paired conversations. He highlights the visible energy and human connection generated by the exercise .
Mara celebrates completing her last shift at the YMCA, where she had worked since moving to the Greensboro area to build community. She reflects on having met her personal goal of forming local connections .
Habit 1 - Gratitude List (Mara)
Mara recommends starting each day by writing three to five things you are grateful for, describing it as a simple, research-backed practice that sets a positive tone. She credits a keynote by Kim Strobel at the NCMLE conference as the inspiration and notes she has maintained the habit since . Frederick adds that the practice helps him appreciate small, everyday moments rather than waiting for large events.
Habit 2 - Intentional Daily Check-In (Frederick)
Frederick recommends that leaders begin each day by consciously deciding how they will show up, taking into account their energy level and schedule . He suggests tools such as daily affirmations, core values reflection, or prayer. He also emphasizes the value of transparency with colleagues when not at one's best, framing it as an opportunity for vulnerability and deeper connection rather than an excuse . Mara reinforces that vulnerability builds human connection and reminds listeners that leaders are human beings first .
Habit 3 - Commitment to Personal Growth (Mara)
Mara recommends dedicating a specific, recurring block of time to personal learning, whether 15 minutes a day, one book a month, or one podcast episode a week. She notes this growth does not have to be profession-related . She references Frederick's book as an example of a resource structured for busy leaders .
Habit 4 - Priority Task Planning Using the Eisenhower Matrix (Frederick)
Frederick recommends starting each workday by identifying priority tasks using the Eisenhower Matrix, organized into four quadrants by urgency and importance . He emphasizes that Quadrant Two tasks, specifically teacher growth and development, should be at the top of the daily list. He advises leaders to identify one to three teachers to check in with each day and to delegate or release Quadrant Three tasks that belong to others .
Habit 5 - Leadership Goal Focus (Mara)
Mara recommends that leaders identify one specific leadership behavior to improve at a time, such as giving specific praise and validation to team members . She suggests using a sticky note on the office door as a daily reminder and proposes asking one fun, relationship-building question to teachers and students each week to strengthen culture . Frederick extends this to a team-level practice, where the leadership team collectively commits to one shared behavior and checks in on it regularly to build accountability .
Habit 6 - Five Minute Coaching Daily (Frederick)
Frederick strongly advocates for conducting at least one five minute coaching session per day with a teacher. The practice involves three reflective questions: What went well? Were there any surprises? Is there anything you would do differently? No feedback is given; the leader listens and moves on . Mara notes the practice can also be done independently as a self-reflection tool .
Habit 7 - Scheduled Personal Time (Mara)
Mara recommends blocking personal time on the calendar and treating it as a non-negotiable commitment, regardless of how brief . She acknowledges the difficulty for parents and busy leaders and stresses the importance of communicating this need to support systems. Frederick connects this to the Artist's Way practice of the artist's date and notes that hiking serves as his primary form of personal recharge time .
Habit 8 - End of Day Wrap-Up (Frederick)
Frederick recommends closing each workday with a brief reflective practice, ideally a five minute coaching session with oneself or a colleague, using the same three questions. The goal is to put a clear end to the workday before leaving .
Habit 9 - Weekly Wrap-Up on Thursdays (Mara)
Mara recommends conducting a weekly wrap-up before leaving the office on Thursdays rather than Fridays, as Fridays tend to be unpredictable in school settings . The wrap-up uses the five minute coaching format and is more powerful when done with a colleague. She also introduces a personal goal tracking chart she has developed, with daily checkboxes and a weekly score for each goal, along with a reflection section to identify patterns without self-judgment . She notes that tracking revealed a bedtime issue as the root cause of missing multiple goals, leading to a targeted micro-adjustment .
Habit 10 - Turn Off Email Notifications (Frederick)
Frederick recommends turning off email notifications entirely, arguing that email is not designed for synchronous communication and that constant alerts pull leaders out of the present moment . He advises training key contacts to use text for urgent matters, leveraging an administrative assistant as a communication filter, and setting up an auto-responder to manage expectations . He credits Darren Pepperd with the auto-responder suggestion .
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