Presence Shouldn’t Wait for Christmas
Power Quote: Once you embrace how valuable your full presence is, you will be more motivated to share it with others.
Description:
This week we continue looking at what it takes to be a good enough leader. Last week we established that being able to consistently observe and work with your teachers to grow their craft is great leadership, but so many of you listening do not have the luxury of observing, post-conferencing, and doing coaching cycles with your teachers. You wind up spending your time on tasks instead of investing time growing your teachers, and we know that not growing your teachers isn’t good enough. So, if we can’t be great, and we don’t want to be not good enough, that leaves us with one option – to be just good enough. The wonderful thing about being good enough is that it is incredibly simple and takes very little time! Being good enough requires three perspective shifts, and four commitments: · Actively choose how you will show up for people· Be fully present· Ask reflective questions· Honor the answers Today I’ll recap the perspectives and the choice we face in every interaction. Then we will dive into what it means to be fully present. Let’s go!
Celebrations:
I’m presenting at SCATA on Wednesday and Thursday (October 23 and 24, 2024). I’m super excited and want to thank my colleague Dr. Anna Brink of Greenville County Schools for providing the opportunity. If you are heading to SCATA, please reach out to me on LinkedIn or show up to my sessions. I’ll be sharing how to build a turnover-proof ILT at 10:30 on both Wednesday and Thursday, and we’ll get some practice with 5-minute coaching on Wednesday at 2:45. Please do connect if you are going to be there!
The Big Idea
Recapping last week:
This is perspective shift #1: They know more than you
Perspective shift #2: You aren’t very good at coaching people
Perspective shift #3: Reflection is enough
Choosing to show up
· We can choose to show up as our best self
· We can “not choose” how we show up, with varying results
· We all face barriers that can make it difficult to be intentional
· The choice we make is not as important as making the choice. (example)
· It is good enough that you make the choice.
Choosing to show up consistently takes us to the second step in being good enough: being fully present.
Consistently being fully present unlocks the door to being good enough.
What does full presence look like?
One: Time. It doesn’t need to be long
· My friend Bill Newsted…
Two: Attention
· Dr. Jacobs
· Maggie
· Natalia Meija: I’m so glad you are here! (episode 147)
Remember the Six Dimensions… time and attention are the most precious resources.
***Insert sponsor***
It’s easy to fake presence by showing up physically, but not being fully focused.
Let’s be real though – the only person we are fooling is ourselves!
Think about the last time you needed to have an important conversation with someone and they were only halfway paying attention. We all know what that looks like. We all know what that feels like. And it isn’t a good feeling.
Once you embrace how valuable your full presence is, you will be more motivated to share it with others.
Establishing full presence is simple.
Say their name.
Look at them, and think, “this is THE most important person in my world right now.”
It isn’t always easy, but it is simple.
Every interaction, you have the opportunity.
Whether you were fully present in your last interaction has no bearing on whether you will be fully present for the next one.
Every interaction is a new beginning.
How beautiful is that?
Summarizing (The big takeaway)
Three perspectives:
1. They know more than you
2. You aren’t very good at coaching people
3. Reflection is enough
Four steps
· Choose to show up
· Be fully present
· Ask reflective questions
· Honor the answers
Three parts to being present:
· Say their name
· Smile
· Think “this is THE most important person in my world right now.”
Next week we will dig into asking reflective questions. If you listen regularly or subscribe to my daily email, you already know the three most common questions I like to ask, but I’ll include a few others as well.
And a BIG shout out to Ranford Almond. Our theme music is his amazing song “Old Soul.” To me, the song captures what being a leader is all about. You can find Ranford on Spotify and the link is in the show notes. If you enjoy this show, consider checking Ranford Almond out and following him.
Close
· Leadership is a journey and thank you for choosing to walk some of this magical path with me.
· You can find links to all sorts of stuff in the show notes, including my website https://www.frederickbuskey.com/
· I love hearing from you. If you have comments or questions, or are interested in having me speak at your school or conference, email me at [email protected] or connect with me on LinkedIn.
· If you are tired of spending time putting out fires and would rather invest time supporting and growing teachers, consider reading my book, A School Leader’s Guide to Reclaiming Purpose. The book is available on Amazon. You can find links to it, as well as free book study materials on my website at https://www.frederickbuskey.com/reclaiming-purpose.html
· Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.
· Remember the secret to good leadership:
o Be intentional in choosing how you will show up for others
o Be fully present
o Ask reflective questions
o And then just listen
o Don’t overcomplicate it, the value is in the listening.
· Have a great rest of the week!
· Cheers!
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