We find ourselves at a rare moment in human history, facing an undefinable industry worth trillions, which happens to be concentrated in the hands of a few billionaire stewards like the doomsayer Elon Musk, the evangelist Sam Altman and MMA enthusiast Mark Zuckerberg. Are they just super-villains plotting our own destruction? Washington Post columnist Josh Tyrangiel’s entire beat is artificial intelligence. So we ask him to contemplate the odds of extinction — and why A.I. might just cure James Harden's addiction to strip clubs.

Further reading:

How A.I. Could Transform Baseball Forever

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A viral video of a weeping Caleb Williams, the top prodigy in this week’s draft, “scares the sh*t out of a lot of NFL teams.” So correspondent Dave Fleming breaks out the tissues — and a stack of research — to discover what the science of crying disproves about the pseudo-science of scouting; why a Super Bowl locker room was like a scene out of “The Notebook”; and how even the Darth Vader of football (allegedly) choked up. Plus: Domonique Foxworth names names — and changes our basic understanding of the most masculine of sports.

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Comedian Dan Soder has come a long way since the seeds-and-stems days of kitty-litter gravity bongs. After quitting drinking and cigarettes and tethering many super-high people back to Earth, he has — at least temporarily — taken a weed sabbatical, ahead of the amateur holiday for dorks. His fiancée and Pablo... not so much.

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If you want to trace the normalization of weed in sports and America, there is no better ambassador than NBA champion and "All The Smoke" host Matt Barnes. Taking gravity-bong rips to go full "Teen Wolf" in high school? Check. Beating drug tests in college and, uh, having a narc watch him pee — and poop! — during a test in the NBA? Yeah. Smoking with Woody Harrelson on his head coach's balcony, during the playoffs? Really. But the NBA came late to the cannabis party, as "more than half the league… from the superstars to the rookies" got caught in pro basketball's race-baiting, steroid-fearing war on drugs. In a new era of acceptance, marijuana might just help hoopers stop the next Kobe.

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Pablo has unearthed a long-rumored, previously unpublished, for-your-eyes-only video from the summer of 2010, featuring a committee of A-list New Yorkers recruiting free agent LeBron James to the Garden. It may feature one of the biggest revelations in TV history, but let's just say — between a couple former politicians and another convicted rapist — that this tape has aged very, very poorly. Knicks superfans Jason Concepcion (@netw3rk) and Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) gaze into the ark of the covenant... and cringe.

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It's one of the greatest TV shows in America right now: The Caitlin Clark effect of being David and Goliath at the same time. Angel Reese's ability to provoke and emote. The wisdom and 4D chess of Dawn Staley. And yet, for a TV writer and stand-up comic who's been evangelizing the women's game for decades, this season has been like showing a friend The Sopranos for the first time. Having witnessed March Madness and in anticipation of next week's WNBA Draft, Morgan Murphy and Pablo determine that the ensuing hot takes from sports media's "empire of garbage" may signal that normalization is here to stay.

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Should you believe astrologers who only say what you want to hear? Is there a better way to enjoy life with Gmail, if you're not at Inbox Seven? And what happens when you stop "living nowhere"? Plus: The Strip-Mall Chain Institution Draft, deodorant, Brozempic, tree-knocking, and Other Pablo.

Further reading:

Sports Astrology (Andrea Mallis)

Happy 20th Anniversary, Gmail. I'm Sorry I'm Leaving You. (Ezra Klein)

What the Suburb Haters Don't Understand (Julie Beck)

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Sports video games pride themselves on their simulation of reality. But the most popular ones that Americans know and love — Madden, FIFA, NBA 2K, MLB: The Show — cannot compete with an intensely specific and uniquely important game called Football Manager. Which got so good at simulating soccer that it converted a worldwide army of real-life players, coaches, and executives into genuine obsessives — changing the multi-billion dollar soccer industry itself. PTFO’s London correspondent, Kieran Morris, embarks on a global quest to explain the Football Manager revolution… and jeopardizes his impending marriage in the process.

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How should we react to sex scenes now? Has MrBeast mastered the modern algorithm? And what is the secret formula to ultimate beauty? Plus: Dan's secret iPad game addiction, Papi's hairy belly and dirty fantasies of Quin Snyder.

Further content:

The Death of the Sex Scene (Sophie Gilbert)

The 'Beastification of YouTube' May Be Coming to an End (Taylor Lorenz)

$INCEL Technology

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Pablo's detective agency is back, with serious #journalism for the internet's most burning sports questions: Can halftime acrobat Red Panda get into the Hall of Fame? (Yes! But only with your help.) Why are athletes so good at spitting? (Yuck.) Where did "juicing" start? (Double yuck.) And will "One Shining Moment" ever be replaced? (Wait for it….)

Sign the Red Panda petition NOW: https://www.change.org/RedPandaHOF

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