Not since the Greco-Roman period has sculpture mattered this much in sports. And Jerry Saltz — the Pulitzer Prize-winning senior art critic for New York magazine — has zero idea who Dwyane Wade is. Which is precisely why we asked the erstwhile Jewish Cowboy (we'll explain) to evaluate our athletic Bronze Age, from Michael Jordan to Cristiano Ronaldo. And that's before we get to "I Can't Believe It's Not Pablo (Butter on Gasbag, 2024)." Plus: the conscious uncoupling of art and money, sex workers in Jacksonville, how to make an enemy of envy, and why you can't be a vampire alone.

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You may think you know how the Patriots drafted the greatest quarterback of all time: with the 199th pick in the sixth round of the 2000 NFL Draft. But the real story — the story of exactly how the Patriots got to make that pick, in the first place — has never been made public… until now. Today, Pablo dives into the secret world of the NFL’s compensatory formula. And we unmask the identity of the free agent who flapped his wings, changing sports history forever.

This episode originally aired September 12, 2024. 

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How do you out-smart a survey of 100 average Americans? Who channels Jimmy V during the commercial break of a game show? Why didn't Mina Kimes show up on "Fast Money"? And what color is green? Pablo reacts to his epic appearance on this week's "Celebrity Family Feud" with buzzer-caressing Dan Le Batard, Celebrity Jeopardy! veteran Katie Nolan and super-fan Mike Golic Jr. Plus: talking sh*t about Harvard, handshaking vigorously with Steve Harvey, unbuttoning a shirt with John Legend, the "Hey Jealousy" torture experiment and Cam from Oklahoma.

This episode originally aired September 19, 2024. 

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It is a tradition unlike any other: A college-football upset. A sea of fans. A 45-foot yellow structure crashing down on the field and heading toward a river or frat house near you. But the tradition of destroying goalposts is under threat. PTFO correspondent and unhinged amateur thief Mickey Duzyj provides a how-to guide, after speaking with students, administrators, an executive at Big Goal Post and the one true expert who can help save a piece of football history: Saw Man.

*Pablo Torre Finds Out does not (officially) condone storming football fields or stealing university property.

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LeBron is taking a break from social media. Should you? Are you ready to stop being performatively fascinating and get authentically dull? And is Bluesky the XFL of Twitter — or a refreshingly Musk-free community worth joining? Plus: "Re-Potting with Pablo," making lentil, fighting in Temecula, road rage, Mastodon, two ejaculating giraffes, a charging wildebeest and the actually hungry hippo (with suspenders and a pocket watch).

Relevant reading:

How Bluesky, Alternative to X and Facebook, Is Handling Explosive Growth (Mike Isaac)

The Age of Social Media Is Ending (Ian Bogost)

The Bluesky Bubble (Ian Bogost)

"With so much hate and negativity in the world today..." (Rich Kleiman)

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Trump won, Silicon Valley is Moneyballing everything, and the worldview of the most famous political nerd on Earth... is eating the world. But Nate Silver still wants to prove people wrong: on what the 2016 and 2024 elections really told us; his falling out with the Left; and how tech billionaires are more irrational than they like to admit. Also: Elon Musk totaling a car, Peter Thiel believing in destiny, and Neymar playing poker.

Buy Nate Silver's new book:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/529280/on-the-edge-by-nate-silver/

Subscribe to Silver Bulletin:

https://www.natesilver.net/

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We are entrapped by an algorithm preying on our most terrifying human vulnerabilities. But inside us exists a cabinet of curiosities, and few are better at finding poetry in our past than Nate DiMeo of The Memory Palace, an award-winning podcast and new book. Pablo's kindred spirit conjures a time before Jason Giambi and the golden thong, when the least qualified Major Leaguer of all time was also, somehow, the luckiest. Plus: a new video about pigeons; swimming “lesser channels”; and, yes, raccoons failing to eat cotton candy.

Buy the book:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-memory-palace-true-short-stories-of-the-past-nate-dimeo/21177599

Subscribe to The Memory Palace:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-memory-palace/id299436963

And listen to the Prince episode of "Pablo Torre Finds Out": https://podcasts.apple.com/jm/podcast/when-docs-cry-inside-the-secret-netflix-masterpiece/id1685093486?i=1000672194989

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She may be the most polarizing athlete on the planet, but whatever Caitlin Clark touches still turns to gold. Meadowlark Media CEO John Skipper is a lead investor in Unrivaled — a groundbreaking new 3-on-3 women's basketball league — and they're hot on the recruiting trail. Will Clark take the money and run? Plus: How might a second Trump administration affect the billionaires of the sports world? And can David Samson get the future Secretary of State to pick up the phone?

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A staggering number of death-row inmates have used their last words to do the same thing: pay tribute to their favorite sports teams. So we sent correspondent Dave Fleming to a supermax prison in Texas to find out why. Charles Flores — Inmate No. 999299 at the notorious Polunsky Unit in Livingston — has maintained his innocence for over 25 years and counting… while living in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. And Flores agreed to take us inside his hidden world of game-day enchiladas, trash talk, and fantasy football. Where there isn’t always next year.=

To learn more about the case of Charles Flores: https://www.freecharlesflores.com/

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The national vibes are... fraught. So, Pablo asks: What do you watch to make yourself feel better? Plus: athshletes, Uncrustables, the world's largest kaleidoscope, thicc televisions, and Understanding It Now.

Further soothing content:

Björk talking about her TV

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles

The CEO of Corn

Grape Lady falls

Eve of Saint Crispin's Day

SHOOTING GUMMIE BEARS INTO A WATER BOTTLE

We Couldn't Be Derailed in Brooklyn

LeBron James Rides the New York City Subway

Wait, NFL players eat how many Uncrustables? (Jayson Jenks)

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