Franchise valuations are going up, up, up — and the first $10 billion team can't be far away. But inside the owners' meetings, though, generational warfare is underway: Can A-Rod snag the Timberwolves from the iron grip of an 83-year-old billionaire? Will the Celtics make private equity sexy? And how long until every NBA game is on national TV? Pablo Torre & The Expiring Assets (aka John Skipper and David Samson with a cold) are back to appraise Gollum's ring and stare into James Dolan's all-seeing Eye of Seventh Avenue.

• Previously: How the Billion-Dollar War to Own the Timberwolves Went Nuclear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmOkcQwZ-s8

• Subscribe to Nothing Personal with David Samson

https://www.youtube.com/@NPDS

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Hank Azaria created more than 100 voices for The Simpsons, including Moe the Bartender, Chief Wiggum and (formerly) Apu. So why is the single most talented voice actor of his generation, at 60 years old, suddenly the lead singer of a Springsteen tribute band? Because — in recovery from the fear that helped originate his superpower, the failure that forced him to embrace "character acting," the cancellation that became a case study, and the threat of A.I. — he was overtaken by Bruce Juice. And today, inside PTFO's studio, he takes the stage.

• Catch Hank Azaria and the EZ Street Band on Tour

https://www.ezstreetnyc.com/

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Did the late George Foreman's merchandising millions almost go to Chuck Norris instead? What aren't influencers selling to men these days? And is this season of The White Lotus actually good? (Spoiler alert for later in this episode: If you've seen through Episode 6, you're good.) And more from Pablo's trip to L.A.: the neck hammock, erect rods, and OnlyEyes.

Further content:

George Foreman Turned a Home Grill Into a Culinary Heavyweight (Kim Severson)

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/dining/george-foreman-grill.html

It's Bait (Rebecca Jennings)

https://www.vulture.com/article/ashton-hall-morning-routine.html

Let's Talk About the [Spoiler Alert] on The White Lotus, with Help From Some Experts (Eliana Dockterman)

https://time.com/7269550/the-white-lotus-incest-lochlan-saxon/

Subscribe to The Mina Kimes Show (featuring Lenny) podcast

https://www.youtube.com/@minakimes

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Thirty years ago this month, Michael Jordan shocked the world with a two-word transmission: "I'm back." But the rise and fall of this especially nostalgic technology is inextricably hard-wired to the sports world, from frantic prodigies to foul-mouthed coaches and fans glued to FaxCam. Pablo communes with a relic between himself and J.A. Adande — the Hall-of-Fame sportswriter and long-suffering fax-sender — for a jam session on innovation and increasingly epic fails that plunges PTFO into the literal depths of modern communication.

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"The Fault in Our Stars" is one of the bestselling novels of the century. Why did its author just devote five years of his life to a staggering work of non-fiction about... tuberculosis? Because John Green became a super-fan of fourth-tier English football. He employed FIFA and Belichick-level tactics to build a compassionate community on YouTube. He understood the difference between enough and more than enough. And he never forgot to be awesome.

• Order "Everything Is Tuberculosis"

https://everythingistb.com/

• Subscribe to John Green's YouTube channel

https://www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers

• Subscribe to Henry Reider's YouTube channel

https://www.youtube.com/@Tuberculosis-l1jSurvivorHenry

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John Skipper, who is not on this season of The White Lotus, goes behind the scenes of his failed bid for "the evil empire" to steal the rights to March Madness. David Samson, who is trying very hard not to sneeze, takes on the haters of the MLB's money-printing series in Japan. And, yes: Pablo is more valuable than a test pattern.

Subscribe to Nothing Personal with David Samson

https://davidsamsonpodcast.com/

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What would you do if you got hit by a stomach bug while driving a Nissan Sentra? Are UNC grads actually bigger a$$holes than Duke fans? Should you pick your bracket solely based on mascots? And how would you create the ultimate sports bubble? Plus: Chihuahua Guy, Lady Cocks, Gentleman Zips, @RamsesBalls, fate, destiny, peace accords and snitching on Hawkeye Elvis.

• Subscribe to the Read Rodge newsletter:

https://rodgersherman.substack.com/

• Watch "Off-Rohding" with Lucy Rohden:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbPIlsADdT0&list=PLRsPi_fqIjreCx526Na0R_JI7xxO6rfML

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We live in America-first times. But what if we applied that instinct to a pro-Earth party? On a break from NASA's office above the Seinfeld diner, a leading scientist visits Pablo to power-rank the human viability of our solar system — and get excited about being part of the solution... instead of Elon Musk's vision of discount Bladerunner on Mars. Plus: Pablo's recruiting trip to SpaceX, why weather should be optional, The Independence Day Solution, witchcraft, livestock burps and life on a giant fart moon.

• Pre-order: "Human Nature: Nine Ways to Feel About Our Changing Planet"

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/human-nature-kate-marvel?variant=43110377324578

• Previously: How to Re-Make the Climate-Change Horror Movie as a Rom-Com

https://www.pablo.show/p/make-climate-change-a-rom-com

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Do they sever the actors on Severance? Does Severance cast member (!!) Michael Cruz Kayne know the secrets of Lumon? (For people who believe in spoilers, you're good through Episode 7 of Season 2.) Also: Why are we trying so hard to figure out The White Lotus? And how much would you pay, at auction, for props from your favorite show? Plus: The Pablovian Shiver Response, the weaponization of AIM, trusting the parsnip steak, StraightDope.com, aliens... and that scene from Saltburn.

The Severance Subreddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/SeveranceAppleTVPlus/

The 'Saltburn' Bathtub Finds a New Home (Valeriya Safronova)

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/01/style/saltburn-bathtub-jacob-elordi.html

Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan"

https://www.youtube.com/katienolan

Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne

https://www.audible.com/pd/Sorry-for-Your-Loss-Audiobook/B0CGJSXSPF

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Everyone is talking about A.I. now, but what we haven't heard is an updated, informed discussion of what, exactly, it will do to the sports world. So in our first on-stage episode, at the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference, Pablo hosts an actual verified genius... and a pioneering NBA executive who gets to be sarcastically referred to as one. We discover how the Philadelphia 76ers already consult large language models, why artificial general intelligence is actually unambitious and much more. But rest assured: At this moment of tension between entertainment and efficiency, the forecast is Kyle Lowry with a chance of Gasol.

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