Got a strong-willed, fiercely independent kid who’s equal parts exhausting and amazing? You’re not alone – and this episode is for you. Learn how to parent your ‘spicy one’ without losing your mind, and help them thrive in sports and life!

What’s Covered in This Episode

• What is a “spicy one”? Strong-willed, independent, and fiercely competitive kids who march to their own beat.
• Why spicy ones make great athletes (and challenging kids). Their intensity and drive set them apart.
• How to handle resistance to feedback. Why stepping back and cheering them on works better than pushing.
• The power of the pause. Why taking a breath before reacting can change everything.
• Staying calm as a parent. How your calm demeanor helps regulate your child’s emotions.
• Balancing independence and respect. Teaching your spicy one to advocate for themselves while respecting authority.
• Letting the world teach lessons. Why natural consequences are sometimes the best teachers.
• Mary’s best advice for parents: “Your main job is to delight in them.”

Ready to learn more? Check out Mary Van Geffen’s resources at maryvangeffen.com and explore her programs like Moms of Spicy Ones and Kind Class. And if your athlete needs mental training, head to EliteCompetitor.com/EMG to learn more about The Elite Mental Game.

Parenting a spicy one isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Let’s do this together!

Episode Highlights: 

[00:01:15] What Is a “Spicy One”? A “spicy one” is a strong-willed, independent, and fiercely competitive kid who marches to the beat of their own drum. These traits make them incredible athletes but can also be challenging to parent.

[00:02:09] Meet Mary Van Geffen. Mary is an international parenting coach who helps moms of spicy ones cultivate warmth, tenderness, and self-compassion. Her mission is to help parents thrive while raising these fiery future leaders.

[00:05:26] Traits of a Spicy One. Spicy ones are intense, fiercely independent, and often resist feedback or authority. They’re not afraid to take up space, which makes them great athletes but also challenging to parent.

[00:11:09] Understanding Adolescent Brains. Teens experience adult-sized emotions without the rational thinking to match, which can lead to big ups and downs. Their brains are still under construction, so patience is key.

[00:18:47] The Power of the Pause. Mary’s top tip: pause before reacting to your child’s behavior. Taking a moment to breathe helps you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

[00:24:37] Balancing Independence and Respect. Encourage your spicy athlete’s independence while teaching them to respect authority figures like coaches and referees. It’s a delicate but important balance.

[00:30:50] Mary’s Best Advice for Parents. Mary’s top advice: “Other people can teach them life skills, but your main job is to delight in them.” Your unconditional love is what they need most.

[00:34:58] Closing Thoughts. Parenting a spicy one is challenging but incredibly rewarding – let’s keep supporting each other and our amazing kids.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.