The holiday season is here, and with it comes those never-ending wish lists from our kids, even though half of it will be forgotten by February. If we quizzed them on what they got last year, they’d probably fail. And that’s our parenting conundrum this week: how do you manage the chaos of over-the-top holiday requests? We’re also tackling the bigger parenting struggle—the push and pull of wanting your kids to be their absolute best without pushing them so far that they end up resenting you. Do you back off or lean in? How much is too much?

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