PDA Society Podcast

In this episode, Gemini from the PDA Society is joined by Linda Murphy, author of The Declarative Language Handbook and The Co-Regulation Handbook, to explore how declarative language can support PDA children and young people.

Linda explains the difference between declarative and imperative language, and why shifting from telling and directing to wondering and noticing can reduce anxiety and defensiveness. The conversation explores how questions, commands and corrections can inadvertently increase demand sensitivity, particularly for children with a PDA profile.

Gemini and Linda discuss how declarative language creates space for autonomy, supports problem-solving, and strengthens connection. Rather than giving instructions, declarative statements share observations, feelings or information, allowing the child to process and respond without feeling controlled.

Part 1 focuses on understanding the principles behind declarative language, how it supports co-regulation, and why small shifts in communication can have a powerful impact in both home and school settings.

Key Themes

• The difference between declarative and imperative language
• How direct instructions can increase anxiety for PDA children
• Supporting autonomy and problem-solving through communication
• The link between declarative language and co-regulation
• Reducing demand while maintaining connection
• Using language to create safety rather than compliance

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guest links:

Linda’s website: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/

In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Riko Ryuki to explore what it is like parenting as a PDAer.

Riko shares openly about raising three children, two of whom have PDA profiles, while navigating their own PDA and additional disabilities. Together, Rachel and Riko discuss how parenting can look and feel different when you also experience high demand sensitivity yourself.

The conversation explores the realities of everyday family life, including adapting routines to meet individual needs, responding flexibly rather than rigidly, and understanding that even children with the same profile can require very different approaches. Riko reflects on being more child-led, matching expectations to capacity, and resisting more traditional “because I said so” parenting models.

Part 1 focuses on lived experience, connection and reframing. Riko speaks about the strengths that can come from shared understanding, the moments of joy and closeness that can emerge when anxiety is managed well, and some of the misconceptions they have encountered from others about parenting differently.

Key Themes

• Parenting with a PDA profile
• Being child-led and adapting to fluctuating needs
• Raising multiple neurodivergent children with different support requirements
• Misconceptions about flexible parenting approaches
• The strengths and connection that can come from shared neurodivergence

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here:
https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guest’s links:

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/rikoryuki
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RikosPDApage1/
• Blog: https://dragonriko.wordpress.com/

In this episode, Sarah from the PDA Society is joined by Shirleyann Haig, bestselling author and Passive Income Coach, to explore how creating alternative income streams can offer greater flexibility when parenting neurodivergent children.

Shirleyann shares her personal journey as a mother of two boys, one with ADHD and one autistic with a PDA profile. After a 25-year career in the pharmaceutical industry, she found herself struggling to balance the demands of corporate life with the unpredictability of school exclusions, phone calls home and the reality of parenting children with complex needs. Despite being a top performer in her company, she was made redundant due to the time she needed to take off to support her children.

The conversation explores the emotional and financial impact of that experience, particularly as a single parent navigating divorce alongside school exclusions and ongoing uncertainty. Shirleyann reflects on how that moment of redundancy forced her to confront how financially fragile many families can be when relying solely on traditional employment structures.

Part 1 focuses on how Shirleyann transitioned away from corporate life and became a Passive Income Coach, helping others to build income streams that do not rely on fixed hours or physical presence. She explains how passive income is not about avoiding work, but about creating systems where work done once can generate income repeatedly. For families living with unpredictability, this flexibility can reduce stress, create stability and offer space to prioritise children’s needs without sacrificing long-term financial security.

*Redundancy due to being a carer is illegal. If you are struggling our support service can direct you to information about your legal rights.

Key Themes

• The challenge of balancing corporate work with neurodivergent parenting
• School exclusions, unpredictability and employment instability
• The emotional impact of redundancy linked to caregiving
• Understanding passive income and how it can create flexibility

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guest links: 

• Shirleyann’s Website   Shirleyann Haig | Ethical Passive Income Coach & Speaker
• Instagram:  shirleyannhaig

In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Tabitha Poole, an occupational therapist from the charity ERIC, to explore a topic that many PDA families describe as a common challenge, toileting.

Tabby shares her professional insight into why toileting can be difficult for PDA children and young people, and how these challenges are often linked to anxiety, demand sensitivity, sensory differences and the need for autonomy. Rachel and Tabby discuss common experiences such as refusal, avoidance, accidents, fear of the toilet, and the impact of shame and pressure.

Part 1 focuses on understanding. It explores what might be underneath toileting difficulties, why traditional approaches can make things harder, and how reframing toileting as a nervous system and safety issue can lead to more compassionate and effective support.

Key Themes

• Why toileting can be particularly difficult for PDA children
• Anxiety, demand sensitivity and the need for autonomy
• The role of sensory sensitivities and interoception
• How pressure, shame and urgency can increase distress
• Reframing toileting difficulties through understanding and safety

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guest links:

• @toilettimewithtabby
• @continencehub
• @eric_charity
• www.tabithapoole.com
• www.continencehub.com

https://eric.org.uk/advice-about-bladders-bowels-and-toileting-for-children-with-additional-needs-2/

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/children-additional-needs/

https://eric.org.uk/children-with-additional-needs/toileting-support-for-autistic-children/

https://eric.org.uk/interoception-and-toileting/

In this episode, Sarah Stewart from the PDA Society is joined by Laura Hellfeld, an independent nurse, sleep consultant and PDA adult, to explore why sleep difficulties are so common for PDA children and adults, and what can help.

Laura brings both professional and lived experience to the conversation. She works extensively with families around daily living skills, including sleep, eating, hygiene and transitions, and she is also a parent to PDA children herself. Together, Sarah and Laura discuss how sleep challenges are often one of the most persistent and exhausting difficulties faced by PDA families.

The conversation looks at why sleep can feel so hard, including the role of anxiety, nervous system regulation, demand sensitivity and sensory differences. Laura explains how traditional sleep advice often does not work for PDAers, and why approaches that rely on control, routine or external pressure can increase distress rather than improve rest.

Part 1 focuses on understanding the underlying reasons behind sleep difficulties in PDA, and reframing sleep not as a behaviour problem, but as a nervous system issue that requires safety, flexibility and compassion.

Key Themes

• Why sleep difficulties are so common for PDA children and adults
• The link between anxiety, nervous system regulation and sleep
• Why traditional sleep strategies often do not work for PDAers
• Reframing sleep challenges as a need for safety rather than compliance
• The impact of poor sleep on the whole family

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here:
https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Content warning

This episode includes discussion of suicidal thoughts. In particular, there is a brief section between 6:50 and 7:10 that listeners may wish to approach with care. Please listen in a way that feels safe and supportive for you.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, is a severe form of PMS that causes significant emotional and physical symptoms during the 1-2 weeks before menstruation. Symptoms include severe mood swings, anxiety, and depression, which can negatively impact daily life, work, and relationships. Physical symptoms like bloating, headaches, and fatigue are also common.

In this episode, PDA Society speaks with Kirstie McStay, Community Manager at Spectrum Gaming, about PMDD, exploring how cyclical hormonal changes can affect mood, wellbeing and daily functioning. 

The conversation looks at how PMDD can impact relationships, work and self-perception, particularly when symptoms shift dramatically across the month. It also highlights the importance of being believed, tracking patterns, and recognising that what can look like a sudden change in behaviour or mood may be connected to hormonal cycles and a very real health condition.

Key Themes

• What PMDD is and how it differs from PMS
• Emotional and physical symptoms that can affect daily life
• Tracking cyclical patterns and noticing early warning signs
• The importance of being believed and supported

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Training: www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guest’s links:

• Spectrum Gaming on trauma: www.spectrumgaming.net/resources/categories/understanding-trauma
• Spectrum Gaming on PMDD: www.spectrumgaming.net/post/supporting-autistic-young-people-with-pmdd
• Kirstie’s PMDD webinar resources: padlet.com/spectrumgaming/pmdd

In this episode, the PDA Society begins a clear and accessible exploration of PANS and PANDAS, conditions that can cause sudden and significant changes in a child or young person’s behaviour, emotional wellbeing and functioning.

Although not linked with PDA, some of the presenting characteristics can be similar, making diagnosis and treatment difficult.

The conversation focuses on what PANS and PANDAS are, how they may present, and why they are often misunderstood or missed. Listeners are guided through common signs, including rapid onset anxiety, changes in behaviour, emotional distress and difficulties with everyday activities. The episode highlights how confusing and frightening this experience can be for families, particularly when changes appear to happen out of the blue.

Part1 lays the groundwork for understanding PANS and PANDAS, offering families and professionals a calm, compassionate starting point for recognising concerns and seeking appropriate support.

Note that PANDAS in this context refers to a medical condition (Paediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal infections). This is entirely different from the PANDA mnemonic used in PDA Society training.

Key Themes

• What PANS and PANDAS are and how they can present
• Sudden changes in behaviour, anxiety and emotional wellbeing
• Why PANS and PANDAS are often misunderstood or overlooked
• The impact on families when changes feel sudden and unexplained

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

External Links:

• Romy's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ChronicAdvocate
• Romy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chronic.advocate/
• PANS PANDAS UK: https://panspandasuk.org/

In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society speaks with Julia Daunt, an adult PDAer, author and trainer, about the experience and meaning of distressed behaviours.

Drawing on her personal insight and professional experience, Julia explains what distressed behaviours look and feel like from the inside. She discusses the difference between being in control and feeling overwhelmed, and how anxiety, sensory sensitivities and unmet needs can lead to behaviours that are often misunderstood.

Rachel and Julia explore how reframing distressed behaviours through empathy and understanding can support more positive responses from families, schools and professionals. This conversation offers a powerful reminder that what looks challenging from the outside is often an expression of fear, pain or overload.

Key Themes

• Understanding distressed behaviours from a PDA perspective
• The role of anxiety, fear and overwhelm in triggering behaviours
• The importance of empathy and curiosity in response
• Moving away from behaviour management towards emotional safety
• Recognising the difference between control and distress

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, will be available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Guests links:

• Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JuliaDauntPDA
• Blog: https://memyselfandpda.com/

In this episode, PDA Society CEO Ed speaks with Suzanne McManus, an editorial leader and creative professional, who joins the podcast to share her personal experience as the parent of a PDA child.

Suzanne reflects on the steep learning curve of parenting when traditional approaches don’t fit, and how she had to unlearn familiar ideas about authority, control and compliance. She discusses the shift from managing behaviour to understanding anxiety and autonomy, and how connection, trust and humour have become the foundations of her parenting.

Through warmth and honesty, Suzanne offers reassurance to parents who may be feeling isolated or unsure, highlighting the importance of community and self-compassion along the way.

Key Themes

• Parenting a PDA child through understanding and flexibility
• Letting go of traditional ideas about authority and control
• Replacing behaviour management with empathy and curiosity
• Building trust, humour and connection in family life
• Finding reassurance and community as a PDA parent

Deep Diver Subscriber Episode

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, will be available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

Further sources of support and information

• PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
• PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
• PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
• PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

In this episode, Rachel and guest Julia Daunt begin an open and thoughtful conversation about puberty and PDA, exploring how hormonal, physical and emotional changes can intensify anxiety and demand sensitivity during this stage of development.

The discussion looks at how puberty can affect PDA profiles in ways that are often misunderstood or overlooked. Listeners are guided through common challenges including heightened emotional responses, sensory sensitivities, changes in body awareness and increasing demands around independence, social expectations and self-care.

This first part focuses on building understanding. It highlights why puberty can feel particularly destabilising for PDAers, and why behaviour changes at this stage are often a sign of overwhelm rather than defiance. The episode offers reassurance to parents and carers who may feel unsure how best to support their child during this complex transition.

· Why puberty can be especially challenging for PDAers

· The impact of hormonal changes on anxiety and regulation

· Increased sensory sensitivity and emotional intensity

· Understanding behaviour as communication during puberty

· Supporting safety, trust and connection through change

For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.

· PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

· PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

· PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/

· PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JuliaDauntPDA

Blog: https://memyselfandpda.com/

The books Julia mentioned in the episode are:

https://amzn.eu/d/8G7bjjo

https://amzn.eu/d/2thMLw3