City Girl Savings | Budgeting, Money Management, and Goal Setting Tips for Women

Pleasing Yourself Instead of Others with Therapist Jamila Holcomb


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I tell my money coaching clients all the time that if their health isn't right, it doesn't matter how great their money is—they won't be able to make the most of it. You could have a six-figure salary and a robust investment portfolio, but if you're mentally and emotionally depleted from constantly putting everyone else first, none of it brings you peace or fulfillment.

Mental health is something that doesn't get anywhere near enough attention, especially for women who are taught from a young age to be caregivers, nurturers, and people-pleasers. It impacts so many areas of our lives…our relationships, our career decisions, our spending habits, our ability to set boundaries…and deserves to always be a priority, not an afterthought.

That's why I couldn't be more excited to welcome licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jamila Holcomb to the show today. With over a decade of experience helping individuals and families, plus her work mentoring future therapists at Florida State University, Dr. Holcomb brings invaluable insight into the people-pleasing patterns that keep so many women stuck.

In this conversation, we're diving deep into how women can stop people pleasing and start prioritizing their own happiness, and how their mental health (and even their finances) will benefit as a result. As we look to close out another year, make sure you're starting 2026 with a renewed sense of self-love, worthiness, and healthy boundaries.

Here's What You'll Learn in This Episode:

Recognizing subtle signs you're stuck in people-pleasing patterns

The connection between people-pleasing, burnout, and mental health

How childhood and cultural expectations shape caregiving behaviors

Practical first steps to start prioritizing your own needs without guilt

The role of self-worth in breaking free from people-pleasing

How people-pleasing shows up in money habits and financial boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries for emotional, mental, and financial wellness

Self-reflection practices to build self-trust as you enter the new year

The Mental Health-Money Connection:

People-pleasing doesn't just drain you emotionally—it shows up in your bank account too. From overspending on others to avoiding financial boundaries, learn how prioritizing yourself mentally leads to better financial decisions and true wealth.

Here's a glance at this episode:

  • [03:00] Dr. Holcomb's Journey: Over a decade in mental health therapy and what drew her to this field.
  • [07:45] Irritability is a common symptom prescribed to women and Jamila believes it's connected to women overextending themselves.
  • [17:57] Reclaiming Personal Time: Creating a list of neglected activities and how to reintegrate them.
  • [30:08] Overwhelm is personal and systemic. It's important to remember that empowering yourself is a start to impacting the overall system.
  • [36:21] Money and Self-Worth: How finances become tools for justifying worth and gaining love through people-pleasing.

Rate, Review, & Follow:

Did you love this episode? Are you a fan of the City Girl Savings podcast? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show!

This helps spread the word about City Girl Savings, and hopefully helps more people make the best money moves possible on the way to their dream life!

To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, please make sure you're subscribed and following the City Girl Savings podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Follow Jamila on Instagram and TikTok

Visit Jamila's website

Learn about Raya's Financial Focus Coaching Program

Follow City Girl Savings on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok

Join the City Girl Savings Facebook Group

Subscribe to the City Girl Savings Newsletter!

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City Girl Savings | Budgeting, Money Management, and Goal Setting Tips for WomenBy Raya Reaves

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