This episode is sponsored in part by Betterhelp.

In Part 2 of our conversation with Amanda Rae, we pick up right where we left off—so if you haven’t heard Part 1 yet, go back and listen first. In this episode, Amanda shares the final breaking point that led her to leave the Kingston Clan, also known as The Order, and the harrowing events surrounding her dramatic escape at just 17.

We dive into the emotional toll of indoctrination, the long process of deconstructing belief systems, and what it takes to rebuild an identity after growing up in a high-control religious group. Amanda speaks candidly about self-awareness, survivor’s guilt, family estrangement, and the dark side of reality TV—including her experience on Escaping Polygamy and the exploitation survivors faced behind the scenes.

This episode is a raw, deeply moving reminder of the resilience it takes to not only survive—but to speak out. Amanda’s story continues to empower others seeking freedom, healing, and the courage to trust themselves. If you’re in a high-control group and looking for support, Holding Out Help offers free assistance to those trying to leave. And if you want to hear more from Amanda, including firsthand accounts from others who’ve left The Order, check out her YouTube channel: @TheAmandaRaeGrant.

Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions of abuse, spiritual trauma, and emotional manipulation.

Also… let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

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CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Amphibian.Media

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Writer: Kristen Reiter

Associate producers: Amanda Zaremba and Matt Stroud of Amphibian.Media  

Audio production: Red Caiman Studios

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin