What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Pushing Kids the Just-Right Amount


Listen Later

Do you worry about finding the balance between forcing your kid to keep doing activities that are good for them (that you already paid for) and not letting them be miserable all the time? How do you keep them on track academically without having to run flashcards with them about the Peloponnesian War for the billionth time? Here's what the research says about when to push our kids - and when to let sleeping (Peloponnesian) dogs lie.

A listener in our Facebook group asks:

"How do you decide when to push your kids? Like when to go from YMCA basketball to the travel team. Or when to go from regular school to the accelerated program, or the private school that's more rigorous. When to apply for the stretch school or the internship? We don't want to ruin hobbies or turn the stress up to 11, obviously. So how do you know which knob to turn and when to turn it so that their ambition, their ability, and their achievement all line up in perfect balance and harmony?"

Amy and Margaret discuss:

  • The “optimal push” and how it's different from over-parenting
  • Achievement-by-proxy distortion (sing out, Louise!)
  • The factors to consider when pushing your child to do something

  • Ultimately, kids are optimally supported when they believe their parents’ love is not performance-contingent. The answer lies in helping them fulfill their potential without damaging their self-esteem.

    LINKS!

    • Amy Wilson for New York Family: Finding the Optimal Push
    • Our episode "How Not To Live Through Our Kids"
    • Dr. Eddie Brummelman et al: My Child Redeems My Broken Dreams: On Parents Transferring Their Unfulfilled Ambitions onto Their Child

    • Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

      For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

      Author Accelerators Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

      This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. 

      Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

      Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply.

      You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

      Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

      Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months.

      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny MomsBy Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

      • 4.8
      • 4.8
      • 4.8
      • 4.8
      • 4.8

      4.8

      973 ratings


      More shows like What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

      View all
      The Girl Next Door Podcast by Kelsey Wharton and Erica Ladd

      The Girl Next Door Podcast

      734 Listeners

      The Mom Hour by Mom Hour Media

      The Mom Hour

      1,691 Listeners

      Edit Your Life | Simplify + Declutter Your Home, Time, and Mental Space by Christine Koh

      Edit Your Life | Simplify + Declutter Your Home, Time, and Mental Space

      519 Listeners

      Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled by JLML Press

      Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

      3,671 Listeners

      The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra, The Lazy Genius

      The Lazy Genius Podcast

      6,518 Listeners

      Best of Both Worlds Podcast by iHeartPodcasts

      Best of Both Worlds Podcast

      759 Listeners

      Minimal-ish: Minimalism, Intentional Living, Motherhood by Cloud10

      Minimal-ish: Minimalism, Intentional Living, Motherhood

      999 Listeners

      Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

      Raising Good Humans

      1,868 Listeners

      HERself by Abby and Amy

      HERself

      1,735 Listeners

      Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry by Lynn Lyons LICSW, Robin Hutson

      Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry

      450 Listeners

      Best Laid Plans by Sarah Hart-Unger

      Best Laid Plans

      786 Listeners

      Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Dr. Becky Kennedy

      Good Inside with Dr. Becky

      4,381 Listeners

      ParentData with Emily Oster by ParentData

      ParentData with Emily Oster

      274 Listeners

      After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings by Dear Media and Big Little Feelings

      After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

      5,513 Listeners

      Midlife Lady Leisure Pursuits by Meagan Francis and Sarah Powers

      Midlife Lady Leisure Pursuits

      13 Listeners