Thinking of joining the Elite Competitor Program?! Join me and Christina Jump, mom of ECP Alumni Taygin, in this special interview in which she speaks about her experience in the Elite Competitor Program!

Learn why Christina had Taygin join the program and what has been most valuable for her from the perspective of a mom.

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Helpful Links:

• Join the Elite Competitor Program today!

Is it the right time to start learning about mental training? Should my athlete daughter be doing it in her off-season? What if she’s injured?

I get these questions a lot. Parents are now realizing that athletes need mental training. They need to learn how to harness the power of their mind — how to come back from a miss, or a mistake. And if you’re wondering when 'mental training' fits into your daughter's athletic career, this episode is for you.

What is mental training?

Mental training is using the mind to leverage performance. This is the ability of an athlete to train her thoughts, behaviors, and actions, as well as navigate any situation that she comes up against. 

This control empowers athletes to have confidence in whatever situation they face. It’s a big part to reach their elite performance. And it is only achieved through knowledge of the sport. If the mental skills are on a zero, she's never going to be able to perform at the level she wants to.

Equip her and set her up for success by giving her the tools she needs to achieve her goals AND your wishes for her happiness/confidence. These mental training skills are important especially if she has goals to get better or level up. The earlier she gets it, the better. 

The best time to repair a roof is always when it's sunny! 

All moms want what’s best for their daughters. If you think your daughter needs these important mental skills, then mental training is a must. It’s non-negotiable for elite performance. For your athlete to reach her potential, she has to have her mind on board. 

To know if she’s ready, ask these questions:

• How old is she? If she's between the ages of 11 to 16, she should consider being in a program that teaches the mental skills of the sport. 
• What season is she in? Whether she’s in-season, off-season, or injured, you can’t go wrong with this.
• What are her goals? If you know what their goal is then you’ll have an idea of how to offer help. Ask them. Athletes always have their goals. 

*If you are wondering how you can bring this up to your daughter, we have a few resources for you! 

Ep. 37: What Age Should Your Athlete Daughter Start Mental Training?

Ep. 38: How to Get Your Daughter to "Buy In" to Mental Training

Ep. 39: Athlete Special: Your Mental Game = Your Biggest Competitive Advantage

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic training and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Every athlete has that dream to level up their game. If you’re an athlete's parent, you probably know the struggle. They try to improve their physical work and special training. But why do they still feel like they’re not performing to their full potential? What else is there that’s missing to gain confidence?

It’s not because they’re incapable, that makes it seem impossible to ascend to the next level. Sometimes, it’s about the mental game that they need to work on. Because an athlete's mental game is their biggest competitive advantage. 

From 5 participants of the Elite Competitors Program:

Introduce yourself, age, and what sports you play

I am here with five phenomenal athletes who are going to be sharing their experience in the elite competitive program. And just with how their mental and physical game has changed since they started to prioritize their mental game. 

Mikayla Jeppson is a 17 y.o volleyball player who just earned a scholarship to play in college. Kylee Bengston is 14 y.o and she’s a multi-sport athlete playing soccer, and basketball. Emma Behrmann is also 14 y.o and she plays basketball, volleyball, track, and swim. Tyne Beckwith is a 15 y.o. alpine ski racer, soccer player, track and cross country player. And last but not least, Savannah Locke a 16 y.o accomplished fencer. 

What would you tell other athletes who are considering joining ECP/considering working on their mental game? (Everyone)

I would tell them it's a good investment. And even though it might sound crazy to you because it did sound crazy to me at first. Why do I need to work on my mental game? You might think everything is in place but until you start to hear other people's experiences, do meditations, and visualize yourself becoming the best you can be, it is worth it. It is worth all the time you spent. All the workshops, all of the Zoom calls, it is worth every little bit of it.

If you're gonna do it, you have to commit 100%. If you're willing to put in the work, it's going to help you more than just in your sports.

Don't be afraid, because honestly, when I started, I was a bit hesitant. It kind of felt like, well, there's nothing wrong with me. But then I realized that everyone struggles with this. It's hard to see until it's all laid out in front of you, but you can improve yourself mentally. It's not super hard, but it's so important.  It just takes commitment and effort.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic training and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

An Elite Competitor Society member asks:

How do you “train” a coach on how to talk and coach his team?! We have an amazing coach when it comes to volleyball skills and teaching our girls technique and playing skills but he has no idea how to talk, empower, motivate and bond the players….

For an opportunity to have your question answered, make sure to submit it in the Elite Competitor Society!

So you're up real early and preparing all these snacks and vegetables in preparation for your daughter's game. Everything's all set and she’s all set with her gear and food. But what about you? 

Showing up the best for your daughter starts with how you show up for yourself. 

Let’s not forget that we are our daughters’ role models and whatever we do for ourselves and for them mirrors what they do for themselves and their children in the future. How you parent will be how your daughter parents. 

From Melissa Vogel:

Many moms in our community provide a lot of opportunities for their daughters, but often overlook the importance of investing in themselves. What are the pitfalls here?

The pitfalls here are that moms are not focused on investing in themselves and just shifting that focus to their daughters and it teaches their daughters to be negligent on themselves. So if you as a mom, are projecting a habit of neglecting yourself and giving your all to your daughter, you unconsciously pass on that habit to her. And that's what she's gonna do when she's a parent one day.

You have athlete daughters - in what way have you invested in yourself and how do you see this transfer to how they show up (in their sport and in life)?

Number one; fueling your body. Whatever you put into your body, will be your fuel and it’s better to be energized and healthy when going about your day and supporting your daughter than going purely on sugar with nothing on your stomach. The stress and sugar high will drive you crazy and you won’t be in the right mindset to interact with your daughter. 

Number two is mindset. Be very aware of what you're saying and what you're speaking to yourself because she's gonna hear and she's gonna model the same thing that comes out of you. 

What are the key healthy habits that are important that we as moms are modeling for our daughters?

• Eat healthy. Make sure you're feeding your body properly. 
• Be a role model of mindset. Don’t give yourself self-talks that depreciate yourself or complaints about stress and exhaustion. 
• Take care of yourself. Lose the running on sugar and 3 hours of sleep habit. Be active and take care of yourself. 
• Be active. Workout and make it so that you’re not punishing yourself or you’re “burning off” calories and make being active a habit. 

As mothers, as parents, we have a huge impact on the development of our children. We mold them to be the person that they will grow up to be. So the best way to build confidence in your daughters is to start with you. 

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Helpful Links:

• Hang out with Melissa Vogel on social @itsmelissavogel and learn more about working with her!
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Make sure you're doing this to give your daughter a competitive advantage not just in her sport, but also in life. 

Today, I want to talk about how you can give your athlete a competitive advantage not just in sports, but in life.

Competitive Advantage:

• Perform Consistently
• Perform to potential
• Have an edge

When it comes to giving our daughters a competitive advantage, many immediately go to physical training: more reps, personal trainers, more time in the gym.

These things do help! But it's what every athlete does.

Because a lot of us parents want our athletes to be the best that they can be in their sport. And physical training gives them that advantage. It helps them be active and healthy as well. 

But, more reps WON'T:  help her with the pressure, give her the skill to come back from mistakes, advocate for herself, uncover the limiting beliefs that are holding her back, shift self-talk.

Physical strength isn’t everything in sports. Our athletes have competitions against their opponents and against themselves. Here’s the deal...100% of athletes face these things:

• Pre-game nerves
• Mistakes
• Pressure situations
• Peer pressure
• Comparison
• Not feeling good enough
• Not wanting to let people down

These are COMMON struggles. EVERY athlete at EVERY level faces them. Whether they are beginners and are still improving their performance or they are at the top of their team with achievements after achievements trailing them; EVERY athlete is prone to these struggles. 

Confidence is a skill. Performing under pressure is a skill.

With proper mental training, your daughter will be able to make better decisions, take healthy risks, have better relationships, have better body image, or be equipped to handle adversity.

Some people think, “is it really worth it to invest in something like this?” We spend so much money on teams, equipment, etc. 

How much is it worth to…

• Have peace of mind knowing that your daughter knows how to navigate the challenges that WILL come up for her on the court. 
• Have the confidence that your daughter will make good decisions. 
• Know that she is choosing relationships based on who she wants to surround herself with and has the confidence to leave the ones that make her feel “less than”.
• Have her feel confident in her body. Loving her body for what it is, not for what it looks like.

If you want your daughter to have a competitive advantage in her sport and in life, investing her in mental skills is where it’s at. 

I get asked a lot how moms can help with this. ECP is opening at the end of March! We are also hosting a mini-challenge and clinics leading up to it. So, be on the lookout. Get on the waitlist.

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Join our free training for sports moms to learn how to strengthen your daughter's mental game (without being pushy or saying the wrong thing!) Register here: www.trainhergame.com

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Elite Competitor Society member, Cheryl, asks:

My daughter holds back on defense (soccer) because she doesn’t want her teammates to think she’s coming in too strong or being too intense. It’s almost as if she sees playing aggressively as a negative. What is the best way to overcome this?

For an opportunity to have your question answered, make sure to submit it in the Elite Competitor Society!

Are you trying to lift up your daughter’s confidence through quick fixes? 

Picture this: your daughter comes up to you and says, “I don’t think I’m good enough to win this competition or even make it to the official team lineup.” Your athlete is starting to deal with confidence and esteem issues. Now, you want to come up with something that can help her, a quick fix, if you will. 

What are these quick fixes? 

Quick Fix #1: Praise

This one is tough! We want to praise our athletes and make them feel good. However, if athletes are relying on praise and external validation to build their internal confidence, they will always be at the mercy of other people rather than themselves.

Real confidence comes from athletes being internally validated. When athletes know their value, worth, and measure of success isn't outside of them, it's within them.

Quick Fix #2: Focusing On Outcomes

“Outcomes” - wins/losses, stats, and performance - are a part of an athlete’s experience and can provide data to adjust moving forward. However, if athletes are placing all the emphasis on outcomes as the measure of how confident they feel, they will always be up and down with the score.

Quick Fix #3: Fake It Till You Make It

We’ve all heard the phrase… “fake it ‘till you make it!” It sounds good, and that it actually might work. Not feeling confident? Just fake it and eventually, it will come!

But, “fake it ‘till you make it” is the perfect example of the superficial confidence we want to avoid.

We can’t fake...

• Proper preparation
• Intentional self-talk
• The ability to come back from mistakes (if we don’t have the skills to do so).

Real confidence comes when athletes have systems in place. They have routines, rituals, and habits that lead to their success so they don't have to "fake it."

Quick Fix #4: Google University

You can probably go searching the interweb for advice, tips, tricks, or a youtube video that will help solve a problem.

Here's are the needed keys to cultivating the mindset skills that lead to lasting confidence:

• Proven skills that build on one another
• Intentional practice
• Accountability
• Just like any other skill that your daughter practices in her sport!

For athletes to develop this long-term confidence, they need to incorporate mindset work just like they incorporate the physical part of the game.

It doesn't take long - but "quick fixes" can only go so far.

Don't wait until your athlete is struggling to try to teach mindset skills.

Don't wait until you need a "quick fix" to realize how important the mental side of the game is.

She needs these skills front-loaded! Which is exactly what we teach in The Elite Competitor Program.

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Helpful Links:

• Join the Elite Competitor Program waitlist to be the first to know when doors open!
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic training and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

When your daughter comes up to you out of the blue and says, “I feel like I don’t fit in on my team,” with a frown on her face.  Would you offer advice and tell her what to do in these situations? 

If so, she may likely learn to rely on other people to solve the problem for her.

Do you know what the number 1 predictor of success on a team is? Psychological safety.

This means that:

• Athletes feeling safe to be themselves.
• Athletes feeling like they belong.
• Athletes feeling like they can risk and fail and be okay.

Teammate culture/dynamics depends on a lot of factors:

• The coach and how they form the culture/relationships building of the team
• The personalities/maturity level of the athletes
• Mixed grade levels
• Competitiveness of the team

Realize that many of those things are out of your control.

What is in your control: Your response to your daughter

Here is ONE area that I want you to focus on when it comes to your daughter not "fitting in/clicking" with the team: Teach her how to think, not what to think.

How do you do this? 

• We don't want to control their thoughts - confidence and sense of self hinges on an athlete's ability to think for themselves and trust that what they're thinking/feeling is true.
• We want to teach her how to put data together, pause, get curious, and ask questions...rather than statements/immediate answers/stories that could be limiting.
• Teach her how to notice her own thoughts, her own reactions.
• Ask more questions rather than give answers

Advice Giving vs Activating Curiosity.

For example, she goes, “I'm always left out.”

Giving Advice: "Well have you tried asking to be in the group?" "You could pick a partner ahead of time" ➝ Guiding her to a specific end. Always relying on YOU/OTHERS to solve her problems. 

Activating Curiosity: "So you felt left out at practice. Tell me more about that." ➝ Listening and recapping helps her feel seen, validates her feelings. 

When we ask questions, we help our athletes put things together in their own mind.

Hearing your daughter say: "I don't know what my teammate meant when she said that" vs "she hates me and I hate her" is important!

Provide tools/opportunities

1. Loop the coach in - View the story from the coach's perspective.
2. Offer to lead team bonding/activities for the team - incorporate into things that the team is already doing.
3. Mental training skills.
4. Skills to advocate for herself.
5. ECP, counseling. 

Your athlete’s psychological wellness relies on you and how you shape her to be an individual. Be the one that teaches her to fish rather than the parent that feeds her all her life. Let’s give them the seed and let them nurture and grow it.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word a is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Elite Competitor Society member, Jen asks:

How do I help my daughter achieve her goals? She wrote them on her bathroom mirror even - what can I do to help? 

For an opportunity to have your question answered, make sure to submit it in the Elite Competitor Society!