Raising Teens with Collett Smart

Win a copy of Janet Evans' book Empty Next by clicking here!!! 

Janet Evans is an accomplished author and podcast host recognised for her insightful work on the themes of parenting and personal growth. She co-authored the book "Empty Next" with Dr. Amelia Haynes, targeting the often unspoken phenomenon of empty nest syndrome. Alongside her literary contributions, Janet is known for co-hosting the podcast "She Wasn't Born Yesterday," which celebrates the experiences and transitions faced by women over 40. Janet’s expertise in traversing this delicate phase of parenting combines personal experience with practical strategies tailored to support parents through this emotional transition.

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional Spectrum: Parents often experience a mix of pride and grief when their children leave home, highlighting the natural, varied responses to empty nesting.
• Improved Relationships: Interviews with young adults reveal that many develop stronger relationships with their parents after moving out, underlining the potential for positive change.
• Reevaluating Misconceptions: The episode challenges common misconceptions, such as the assumption that mothers are more affected than fathers by their children's departure.
• Global Phenomenon: Empty nest syndrome is not exclusive to Western cultures; parents worldwide experience similar emotional transitions despite differing family structures.
• Proactive Transitioning: Parents are encouraged to plan ahead by prioritising personal interests and marital relationships to ease the transition into this new stage of life.

Notable Quotes:

• "You bring them up for like 20 odd years. It's a long time to be in the same job."
• "A lot of [young adults] got on a lot better with their parents once they'd moved out."
• "You should never feel guilty about missing your children after they've left home."
• "With all of the people that we spoke to, the dads were just as affected. Oh, my goodness. And some of them even more so."
• "Every single situation is different, and every personality is different… overwhelmingly, most parents want the very best for their kids."

Resources:

• Janet Evans's book "Empty Next" explores empty nest syndrome and its impact.
• Podcast "She Wasn't Born Yesterday" hosted by Janet Evans, focused on women over 40.
• Hope 103.2 Radio, mentioned as an initial platform for the podcast concept.

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognise Behavioral Changes: Learn to identify key signs of a teen in crisis, such as withdrawal, risk-taking, diminished school performance, and expressions of hopelessness.
• Maintain Calm and Support: Discover the importance of staying calm and curious, not reactive, to offer a safe environment where teens feel supported.
• Focus on Connection: Prioritise emotional safety and connection over immediate problem-solving to build trust and open communication lines with adolescents.
• Support Over Correct: Understand the need to connect with your teen before introducing any corrective actions or consequences post-crisis.
• Professional Help: Reinforce that seeking professional support is essential and conveying that doing nothing is not an option for their well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• "Crisis behavior is often communication, not defiance or attention-seeking."
• "A calm parent becomes the emotional anchor in a teen's storm."
• "Connect before we correct."
• "Doing nothing is not an option. My job is to love you and support you."
• "I'm here to listen if you need me. I'm here for you if you want to brainstorm any ideas together."

 

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Collett Smart appears as a guest on a sister podcast With All Due Respect breaking down the intricacies of parenting, chatting about the societal and Christian pressures surrounding it. They discuss whether parenting has become a form of justification by works and how it impacts parental anxieties. Do follow this podcast if you've found value in it. 

Key Takeaways:

• The anxiety surrounding parenting may be tied to societal pressures and cultural expectations, exacerbated by digital advancements and social media comparisons.
• Effective parenting often involves striking a balance between discipline and nurturing, a strategy supported by research on authoritative parenting.
• Vulnerability and authenticity in parenting, including open conversations about difficult topics, can foster a healthy family environment.
• Modern parents face unique challenges compared to previous generations, necessitating new methods and flexibility in parenting styles.
• Engaging in meaningful discussions with children about important life topics, like faith and personal responsibility, is crucial for their development and character building.

Notable Quotes:

• "Parenting has become a sort of visible metric of our sanctification." - Michael Jensen
• "We are parenting our children for this life and for the people that they interact with." - Collett Smart
• "We need to let go of expectations we had for them. Those are gone now." - Collett Smart
• "Parenting is a school for our own discipleship." - Michael Jensen
• "Allowing our children to experience some discomfort, but then supporting them through that." - Collett Smart

Resources:

• Her Podcast: Raising Teens with Collett Smart
• Collett Smart's Book: They'll Be Okay: 15 Conversations to Help Your Child Through Troubled Times

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

• Teens distancing from parents is a normal developmental phase as they seek independence.
• Parents should provide a "steady presence" and adapt to their teen's communication preferences.
• Emotional regulation and repair after conflicts are vital to maintaining trust.
• Giving teens some control over their choices within healthy boundaries can foster connection.
• Family connection, though on the teen's terms, remains crucial for their overall life satisfaction.

Notable Quotes:

1. "Pulling back is often part of building independence, and it's how teens practice being separate, capable people."
2. "Very often, the closeness returns once the emotional storm has passed."
3. "Connection still matters. It's often more on our teens' terms, but connection is what we need to be fighting for as parents."
4. "You will know your teen best. You will know what works well."
5. "Even well-intentioned advice can land as criticism when emotions are high."

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PURCHASE the book for $1.39AUD here at Amazon

Raewyn Elsegood is a seasoned author and chaplain renowned for her empathetic writing and expertise in grief counseling. With over ten years of experience as a trained writer, Raewyn has channeled her profound personal experience of losing her daughter into her work, penning "21 Gifts" as a testament to her healing journey. Her professional history includes extensive work as a chaplain, where she has supported countless individuals in times of grief with her compassionate presence and insightful guidance.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Grief is Messy and Individual: Raewyn underscores that grief is not a linear process but unique to each person and can evolve over time.
• Writing as Healing: "21 Gifts" harnesses the power of writing as a therapeutic outlet, documenting a mother's journey through loss by reflecting on life's gifts.
• The Power of Presence: Offering support to those grieving involves simply "being there," as a witness to their experience without needing to fix it.
• Faith's Role in Grief: Raewyn candidly shares her struggle and reconciliation with faith amidst her grief, revealing the comfort and complexity it brings.
• Lessons in Legacy: Through her book and public speaking, Raewyn continues to honor Amy's legacy, teaching that healing often involves transforming personal pain into purposeful action.

Notable Quotes:

1. "Grief is very messy, and even trained professionals need to surrender to it."
2. "Losing Amy didn't mean losing my purpose as her mother. Writing 21 Gifts, establishing her scholarship, speaking to others; this is mothering her legacy."
3. "What I want people to feel as they read this book is they're walking with a companion, and I want them to have hope in their hurting heart."
4. "In our fear, we stay away, not knowing what to do. But there's no perfect words. Please just show up."
5. "Worry is normal, but it is a waste of time."

Resources:

• Raewyn Elsegood's Website
• Book: 21 Gifts

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Points:

• Understanding legal responsibilities is crucial when teens commence driving alone.
• Assessing a teen driver's experience and confidence helps gauge their readiness.
• Safety must be a priority, especially when younger siblings are passengers.
• The approach to driving should be gradual, with trust-building measures.
• Continuous communication about safe practices reinforces learning and responsibility.

Notable Quotes:

• "Letting our teens drive their younger siblings is another huge step."
• "It's crucial to look at the legal side of things with our children, with our teens."
• "Does your teen understand that they're not just a taxi for their sibling?"
• "I think it's okay to consider easing into this whole new arrangement."

Resources:

• Follow Collett Smart on Instagram and Facebook.
• Learn more on Collett Smart’s website: www.collettsmart.com

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

WIN Dr Arne’s book!! Click here to enter!

Dr. Arne Rubinstein is a leading expert on rites of passage and adolescent development. As the founder of the Rites of Passage Institute, Dr. Rubinstein is devoted to creating transformational experiences for teenagers and communities. With over 30 years of experience, including a decade and a half as an emergency medicine doctor, he has a profound understanding of human development and the challenges young people face today. Dr. Rubinstein is also the author of "The Making of Men" and has significantly contributed to the field by working with schools globally and supporting over 500,000 people through his programs.

Key Takeaways:

• A rite of passage is a guided process essential for successfully transitioning youth from childhood to adulthood, offering community support and shared wisdom.
• Unstructured "rites of passage," such as schoolies, often involve risk and lack meaningful guidance, leading to potentially harmful outcomes.
• Structured programs emphasise storytelling, challenge, vision creation, and recognition of unique gifts as critical components, providing a healthier and more profound transition experience.
• Both teenagers and their communities, including parents and elders, benefit from engagement in rites of passage, promoting stronger, more supportive relationships.
• Rites of passage are not limited to adolescence; they are valuable throughout life for managing transitions like leaving home, marriage, and aging.

Notable Quotes:

1. "I am convinced that every one of our children is going to go through a rite of passage. The question is, will that be a healthy rite of passage?"
2. "When we are creating rites of passage for our young people, we need to take into account that every child is different, and every child is born with their own unique gifts and talents."
3. "Instead of having elders in the community who are actually doing it for the benefit of the young ones, when they're doing it as a way of sort of staying on top of them, that's when it goes wrong."
4. "One thing, if we could teach girls to listen to their inner voice, that would really be impactful and important for those girls."
5. "Bringing out their gifts and their spirit. That's what rites of passage are about."

Resources:

• Rites of Passage Institute
• Dr. Arne Rubinstein's book: The Making of Men
• Online Rites of Passage Leadership Training via the Rites of Passage Institute

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Points:

• Encouraging teens to consider counseling should be a gentle process that respects their need for control and privacy.
• Parents should emphasise the confidentiality of counseling, reassuring teens that professionals will maintain their privacy while sharing critical concerns.
• Involving teens in the decision-making process, such as choosing a counselor, can increase their sense of ownership and reduce resistance.
• Building a supportive home environment and maintaining open communication can lay the foundation for teens to feel comfortable seeking external help.
• Parents should also seek support for themselves to strengthen their ability to provide effective guidance and emotional stability for their teens.

Notable Quotes:

• "A no to counseling doesn't mean a child is rejecting help. It's not a sign that things are hopeless."
• "Our teens need to feel part of the choices and part of the decisions."
• "Everyone needs to talk to someone from time to time, adults included."
• "Focus on your relationship with your teenager first. Feeling safe and respected and heard at home lays such a good foundation."
• "Even if your teen isn't ready for counseling, you can still seek support as a parent."

Resources:

• Follow Collett Smart on Instagram and Facebook.
• Learn more on Collett Smart’s website: www.collettsmart.com

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Krysten Bisby is an esteemed counselor and advocate for animal-assisted therapy, harnessing her extensive experience with animals to support mental health and well-being. With a background in competitive horse riding, she has drawn on her lifelong passion for animals, including her therapeutic partner Cruz, a certified therapy dog, to enhance her counseling practice. She is notably involved in para-dressage riding at an international level, working with riders who have disabilities. Furthermore, she has transitioned from being a teacher to a counselor, focusing on creating safe spaces for young people to discuss their concerns and work towards mental wellness. Krysten operates KB Counseling Collective and partners with organisations like Riding for the Disabled at Tall Timbers in Sydney to provide therapy incorporating animals.

Key Takeaways:

• Krysten Bisby emphasises the importance of safe environments in therapy, crucially non-traditional approaches that involve animal companionship.
• Animal-assisted therapy facilitates tangible benefits for emotional regulation, reducing anxiety, and developing social skills.
• Pet therapy involves a certified partnership between handler and animal, requiring rigorous training and assessment.
• Non-verbal communication and repetitive activities with animals significantly aid in engaging clients who struggle with verbal processing.
• Activities with therapy animals can transform feelings of being 'different' or struggles into therapeutic experiences of social connection and emotional growth.

Notable Quotes:

1. "I think horses were kind of that escape and that time for me that I just felt a bit free really, being out in the paddock and riding."
2. "If there had just been someone at school that I could have talked to, or who could have said, ‘Hey, what's happening for you?’"
3. "Research shows that being around animals reduces cortisol, releases oxytocin, and has physical effects like lowering blood pressure and decreasing heart rate."
4. "For me, it's about equipping clients to have skills and strategies to manage themselves in everyday struggles."
5. "I think when you take away some of that focus of therapist with client and you add an animal, it's super regulatory, a calming presence."

Resources:

• Visit KB Counselling Collective's Website
• Visit KB Counseling Collective on Facebook for more information about Krysten Bisby's work.
• Explore services at Riding for the Disabled at Tall Timbers in Box Hill.
• Contact Krysten here for counseling inquiries in Sydney.

 

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Points:

• The "invisible load" involves the mental and emotional planning needed to keep a family running smoothly, disproportionately handled by mothers.
• When recognised and verbalised, this load can be redistributed among the family, easing stress and fostering a more collaborative environment.
• Collett emphasises how engaging teens in managing this load fosters their independence and reduces pressure on parents.
• Small, strategic changes in task sharing can significantly lighten the invisible load, benefiting partners, parents, and teens alike.
• Regular family meetings and the use of digital tools can help make the distribution of mental tasks more visible and equitable.

Notable Quotes:

1. "The mental load is what the air traffic controller does…constantly monitoring all the aircrafts, anticipating possible conflicts."
2. "When the invisible becomes visible, it's much easier to share."
3. "Our teens don't need us to manage everything; giving them responsibility can actually help them grow."
4. "No one feels alone in holding it all when the invisible load is shared."
5. "This isn't about withdrawing our care from our families…it's about adjusting as our family needs change."

Resources:

• Connect with Collett Smart via her Instagram and Facebook for ongoing support and insights.

 

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.