Relationship Dish

This week the therapists dish and dive about having BIG feelings. They are big feelers and it’s not always easy to be that way in relationship with less emotive partners. Sometimes, having big passionate emotions about specific events has roots in painful or meaningful childhood experiences.

The therapists then dive into the literature and learn that big feelings of anger, anxiety or even depression can be just the tip of the iceberg and that oftentimes, totally unrelated emotions sit underneath.

They present a feeling word list for those of you who’d like to express their feelings more often and a nice takeaway to help couples share and manage their feelings together to create more intimacy between them.

This week the therapists dish and dive on part two of the family of origin issues that we can drag into our romantic relationships.

Growing up, from the way our caregivers responded to our emotional needs, we learned about our own worthiness and the trustworthiness of others.

Pam and Iona dish about how their FOO experiences have wrecked havoc with their partners and dive into the literature to learn and teach what can be done to create intimacy and reduce conflict within a relationship if your “models of self and other” were damaged. There is hope!!

This week the therapists dish about the frustration they feel toward their partners who are not as psychologically minded as they are. Iona struggles with Steve sometimes because he doesn’t have the same map that she has about how the most productive conversations unfold.

He doesn’t always follow her rules of engagement and that makes her feel like she alone is the keeper of the process of the conversation. Sometimes, without realizing, he can throw a grenade into their conversations just when Iona feels they are getting really productive.

Pam struggles in the same way with Eric, but understands that this is both a skill and a gift that has been practiced and honed in us as therapists. Can we really expect that our partners, who are not trained therapists, should have a mutual understanding and see the big picture the same way that we do?  Still, we don’t want to be “stewards of the conversation” without our partners help. The therapists then dive into some basic ideas about what it means to be psychologically minded and psychologically mindful and finally create a wish list for their ‘golden rules of conversation’, hopefully sparking listeners to create their own wish lists with their partners  to increase understanding, decrease conflict and create more intimacy and closeness!

This week the therapists dish about the fine balance between togetherness and separateness.  Iona struggles with both her teenage daughter’s and husband’s growing up and away from her while in the past, Pam, the introvert,  has struggled with Eric’s need for more togetherness and more recently, his needs for separateness.  The therapists then dive on some useful literature to help us understand and navigate this precarious balance,  with the ultimate goal of improving our connection by communicating our needs and feelings to our partner. 

Hey dishers, we're back!

Listen in to our season 2 premiere when we talk about everyone's favorite topic money.

Money- love it or hate it, it’s one of the most difficult topics to discuss with your partner. The therapists dish on the role of money in their own relationships and how it’s been contentious.

They dive into some interesting research and come back with some helpful hints on how to prevent it from taking over your relationship. So let's learn more about this hot button and how to navigate it safely with our partners!!

We've just wrapped Season 1 with 20 episodes! There is a lot of variety and great topics covered, so feel free to listen to any of the episodes again for things you may have missed or a refresher.

We will back for a season 2 shortly and would love to thank your for your continued support.

Send us your ideas for a season 2 show or just email us if you have any questions, we would love to hear from you. 

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Iona and Pam

Even though defense mechanisms are normal, they can really get in the way of closeness with your partner. 

This week the therapists dish about the defenses they use and how they're affecting their own romantic relationships! (Spoiler alert: it’s not great!)

They then dive into some interesting definitions of defense mechanisms and share a list of some of the most popular ones! You’ll recognize yourselves!  We did! 

Some useful takeaways follow as always!