You and the narcissist may share the same time and space in a family, business or marriage but you are planets apart. The narcissist thrives in a world of delusion of his/her making. The narcissist’s visions of reality are grandiose, skewed to an absolute belief in his superiority. He holds ultimate power and control over others through manipulations, deceits and chronic lying. We may not recognize that the individual we are meeting is a narcissist, especially if he/she is masterful at playing his roles. If you do not react the way he perceives you will, he is very adept at switching to another character in his drama. All of this is a convincing act but fraudulent.

Narcissists don’t change; their personality structure is rigid and very unlikely to change.. Narcissists generally don’t benefit from psychotherapy because they are certain that the problem(s) originates and is being driven by others—spouses, children, siblings, business associates. The narcissist believes he is flawless; the difficulty is with others not him. If you cross the narcissist, at times he/she will relentlessly pursue you, always seeking to Win! 

Narcissists always know that they will win. They persuasively lie to everyone, including judges, therapists and lawyers. Their confidence overflows with hubris. Without a conscience they throw threats, intimidations, defamations of character where ever they might stick. They often get away with their outrageous and destructive behaviors. Many narcissists present themselves as victims and convince many people through the fine art of lying. They have been practicing perfidy since they were children.

Learn about every aspect of the narcissistic personality disorder. It is well worth doing your homework. The earlier you identify a narcissist, the greater the edge you have in either avoiding this individual or giving yourself a head start on dealing with this person. Trust and deepen your intuition—that quality that tells us the truth directly and accurately. If you are dealing with a narcissist, learn to detach your feelings from their psychological bait. Practice some form of quieting your body/mind—yoga, restorative yoga, meditation, tai chi, etc. This will provide you with powerful techniques for grounding yourself.

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