Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

Conor Gallagher is a successful businessman, author, and father of 17 children. But despite his success at work, he admits that for years, he was giving his best to his business while his family got the worst version of him.

That realization led him to develop Well-Ordered Family, a system that applies proven business principles to family life. In this episode, Conor reveals how he manages his large family, reduces chaos, and creates a more peaceful, joyful home using practical tools that any family can adopt.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How Conor manages a household with 17 children
• Why he believes families should operate more like businesses
• The simple systems that reduce stress, chaos, and conflict at home
• Why busyness might be quietly destroying your family
• How to build a healthy family, even if you grew up in a broken one

If you come from a broken or dysfunctional family and wonder whether you could ever build a happy, healthy family of your own, this episode is for you.

Resources mentioned:

• Conor's books, videos, and family resources: https://wellorderedfamily.com
• Join Restored's healing program: https://restoredministry.com/program
• Get It's Not Your Fault or download free chapters: https://restoredministry.com/books

Listen to the full episode to discover the practical principles Conor uses to manage his family of 17 children—and how you can use them to build the family you want.

When Michael Comstock was 17, he discovered that his mom was having an affair. The betrayal didn’t just affect his parents’ marriage—it shattered his sense of safety, trust, and family.

Years later, Michael realized the fallout was still affecting him. He struggled to trust women, sabotaged relationships, feared marriage, and wondered if he was doomed to repeat his parents’ story.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why a parent’s affair can feel like a betrayal of the children too
• How divorce wounds can surface years later in dating and relationships
• Why Michael felt guilty building a relationship with his stepfather
• What helped him forgive his mom and stepfather without excusing what happened
• How he went from fearing marriage to becoming a husband and father

If your parent cheated, if you struggle with anger or trust because of what happened in your family, or if you’re afraid you’ll repeat your parents’ mistakes, this episode is for you.

Resources:

Learn more about Restored’s healing program for young adults:
https://restoredministry.com/program

You can also anonymously share your story with Restored:
https://restoredministry.com/story

Confident people still feel fear. The difference is how they respond to it.

In this episode, Trevor Ragan explains why fear, anxiety, and discomfort don’t necessarily mean you’re weak, unprepared, or on the wrong path. In fact, trying to suppress those emotions can make them even stronger.

Trevor is the founder of The Learner Lab and has spent nearly a decade studying learning, performance, resilience, and difficult emotions. He’s worked with professional and Olympic athletes, Major League Baseball teams, and leaders at the United Nations.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How confident people handle fear differently
• Why trying to eliminate fear can backfire
• How to move forward even when you don’t feel ready
• Why confidence isn’t the absence of difficult emotions
• How to build skills you may not have learned growing up

If fear keeps you from taking risks, having difficult conversations, pursuing relationships, or building the life you want, this episode is for you.

More resources:

Join our 6-week healing program 
https://restoredministry.com/program

Free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing
https://restoredministry.com/10tips

Learn more about Trevor:
https://thelearnerlab.com

Shownotes
https://restoredministry.com/blog/184

If you grew up in a broken or dysfunctional family, you may have entered adulthood without ever seeing what healthy conflict looks like.

But avoiding conflict isn’t the answer. In fact, healthy conflict can be one of the main ways couples build trust, deepen intimacy, and discover whether they can actually build a life together.

Our guest, Adam Lane Smith, is a former licensed marriage and family therapist, bestselling author, and attachment specialist whose work has attracted more than 1.3 million followers across social media. In this conversation, Adam breaks down the practical relationship skills many people never learned growing up.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why people from broken families often struggle in relationships
• How healthy couples handle conflict differently
• Why avoiding conflict can actually weaken trust
• What conflict reveals about whether someone is marriage material
• How to communicate, repair, and build trust after things go wrong

If conflict makes you shut down, blow up, people-please, or wonder whether you’re capable of building the healthy marriage you never saw growing up, this episode is for you.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction:
RestoredMinistry.com/program

👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing:
RestoredMinistry.com/10Tips

👉 Learn more from Adam Lane Smith, including his Secure Circle, relationship resources, programs, and coaching:
AdamLaneSmith.com

👉 Shownotes
https://restoredministry.com/blog/183

What if you’ve understood your wounds intellectually—but your body is still carrying them?

After her parents’ divorce, Annie Sarlo spent years hiding her family’s dysfunction, struggling with anger, anxiety, perfectionism, and difficulty receiving love. Her healing eventually taught her something surprising: we’re wounded in relationship, and we often heal in relationship—but talking alone isn’t always enough.

In this episode, Annie shares:

• Why safe relationships can heal wounds caused by broken relationships
• How family dysfunction can make receiving love difficult
• Why movement, martial arts, breathing, and nature became part of her healing
• The path from self-knowledge → self-possession → self-gift
• How to find a person or place where you finally feel safe enough to exhale

If you’ve done a lot of thinking or talking about your past but still feel anxious, guarded, or stuck, this episode is for you.

Resources:

👉 Learn more about Annie Sarlo and her whole-person coaching:

anniesarlo.org

https://sandamianocoaching.com

👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction:

https://restoredministry.com/program 

👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing:

https://restoredministry.com/10tips 

Shownotes

When dysfunction is all you know, it can feel normal.

For Michaela, growing up with a narcissistic father meant fear, control, walking on eggshells, protecting her younger siblings, and even parenting her own parents. For years, she didn’t realize how unhealthy her family dynamics were. It wasn’t until she encountered healthy families that she began to see how different love could look.

In this episode, Michaela shares how those relationships helped reshape her understanding of family, love, boundaries, and healing.

We talk about:

• Why unhealthy family dynamics can feel normal when you grow up inside them
• What it’s like growing up with a narcissistic and controlling parent
• How healthy families and mentors can show you a different way to love
• How to stop carrying responsibility for everyone around you
• Why forgiveness doesn’t always require reconciliation

If you grew up with a narcissistic, abusive, or deeply dysfunctional parent and want to build something healthier, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned

Free Guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce
Book: It’s Not Your Fault
Share Your Story with Restored

Divorce is traumatic for children at every age—but parents can either deepen that wound or help their children heal.

In this conversation, licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst Erica Komisar explains why a “good divorce” requires parents to stop focusing on what feels fair to them and start prioritizing what their children actually need. She shares practical ways to create stability, reduce emotional damage, and protect children from being pulled into adult conflict.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why frequent transitions between homes can destabilize children
• How to tell children about a divorce without overwhelming them
• Why parents must avoid oversharing, badmouthing, and using children as messengers
• How a parent’s emotional regulation affects a child’s ability to cope
• Why flexibility, sacrifice, and stability matter more than rigid ideas of fairness

If you’re divorced, considering divorce, or trying to help your child adjust to a family breakup, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Erica Komisar, her books, and her work

Get the free guide, “7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce”

Get the free guide, “10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing”

If your parents are divorced and seeking a Catholic annulment, it can feel confusing — and even scary. What is an annulment? Is it just “Catholic divorce”? Does it erase your parents’ marriage? And the question many children of divorce are afraid to ask: Does this mean I’m illegitimate?

In this episode, I’m joined by Anthony St. Louis-Sanchez, JCL, Director of the Metropolitan Tribunal of Denver, to explain what annulments are, how the process works, and what they do — and do not — mean for the children of divorced parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What a Catholic annulment actually is
• Why an annulment is not the same thing as divorce
• Whether an annulment makes children “illegitimate”
• How the annulment process works
• How to cling to Christ when your family story feels confusing or painful

If you’re a child of divorce who has ever wondered what your parents’ annulment means about your family, your identity, or your worth — this episode is for you.

Free guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce

Book: It’s Not Your Fault

Restored resources

Book Anthony recommended: When Is Marriage Null? by Paolo Bianchi

Shownotes

When your parents’ divorce or separation hurts deeply, it can raise painful questions about God: Where was He when my family fell apart? Why didn’t He stop it? And if faith matters so much, why didn’t it save my family?

In this episode, Joey talks with Dr. Daniel Meola, co-founder of Life-Giving Wounds, about suffering, anger, grief, spiritual bypassing, and the struggle many adult children of divorce face in their relationship with God.

They discuss:

• Why divorce can feel like abandonment by God
• What to do when faith was used to minimize your pain
• Why anger and grief aren’t signs of weak faith
• How to avoid getting stuck in victimhood or spiritual bypassing
• Why acknowledging your pain may be the first step toward healing
• How God can transform wounds into strength, love, and purpose

If you’re an adult child of divorce or separation who has ever asked, “God, where were You when my family fell apart?” this episode is for you.

Learn more about Life-Giving Wounds

Get the book Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation

Get Joey’s free guide, 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce:

Get Joey’s book, It’s Not Your Fault

Subscribe to the Restored podcast:

Get the Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart

Get the Book: Interior Freedom

Show notes

When your family breaks apart, especially through years of fighting, manipulation, or emotional chaos, you can learn to survive by staying busy, shutting down, or pretending it didn’t affect you.

But what happens when that pain starts showing up in your marriage, your parenting, your confidence, or the way you handle conflict?

In this episode, Billy shares how her parents’ long, painful divorce began after years of intense conflict, manipulation, and isolation. She opens up about coping through overachievement, the safe adults who helped her heal, and the boundaries she’s had to learn with an unsafe parent.

We discuss:

• Why Billy expected her parents to divorce, even as a child
• How she coped by becoming highly involved, successful, and busy
• The loneliness of growing up without safe adults nearby
• How one pastor’s wife helped her feel truly loved for the first time
• Why journaling helped her process, remember, and heal
• How her husband helped her learn to handle conflict without fear
• What boundaries with a parent can look like as an adult
• How Billy is building a healthy family, even though she didn’t come from one

If you’ve ever wondered how to honor your parents without letting them control you, or how to build something healthier than what you came from, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

Share Your Story with Restored:
 https://restoredministry.com/story

7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce or Separation: https://restoredministry.com/7ways

The Gottman Institute: 
https://www.gottman.com/

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott:
https://amzn.to/3PPRy9J

The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute:
https://amzn.to/4aEsBVE

Show notes:
https://restoredministry.com/blog/177