If you grew up in a broken or dysfunctional family, you may have entered adulthood without ever seeing what healthy conflict looks like.

But avoiding conflict isn’t the answer. In fact, healthy conflict can be one of the main ways couples build trust, deepen intimacy, and discover whether they can actually build a life together.

Our guest, Adam Lane Smith, is a former licensed marriage and family therapist, bestselling author, and attachment specialist whose work has attracted more than 1.3 million followers across social media. In this conversation, Adam breaks down the practical relationship skills many people never learned growing up.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why people from broken families often struggle in relationships
• How healthy couples handle conflict differently
• Why avoiding conflict can actually weaken trust
• What conflict reveals about whether someone is marriage material
• How to communicate, repair, and build trust after things go wrong

If conflict makes you shut down, blow up, people-please, or wonder whether you’re capable of building the healthy marriage you never saw growing up, this episode is for you.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction:
RestoredMinistry.com/program

👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing:
RestoredMinistry.com/10Tips

👉 Learn more from Adam Lane Smith, including his Secure Circle, relationship resources, programs, and coaching:
AdamLaneSmith.com

👉 Shownotes
https://restoredministry.com/blog/183

What if you’ve understood your wounds intellectually—but your body is still carrying them?

After her parents’ divorce, Annie Sarlo spent years hiding her family’s dysfunction, struggling with anger, anxiety, perfectionism, and difficulty receiving love. Her healing eventually taught her something surprising: we’re wounded in relationship, and we often heal in relationship—but talking alone isn’t always enough.

In this episode, Annie shares:

• Why safe relationships can heal wounds caused by broken relationships
• How family dysfunction can make receiving love difficult
• Why movement, martial arts, breathing, and nature became part of her healing
• The path from self-knowledge → self-possession → self-gift
• How to find a person or place where you finally feel safe enough to exhale

If you’ve done a lot of thinking or talking about your past but still feel anxious, guarded, or stuck, this episode is for you.

Resources:

👉 Learn more about Annie Sarlo and her whole-person coaching:

anniesarlo.org

https://sandamianocoaching.com

👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction:

https://restoredministry.com/program 

👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing:

https://restoredministry.com/10tips 

Shownotes

When dysfunction is all you know, it can feel normal.

For Michaela, growing up with a narcissistic father meant fear, control, walking on eggshells, protecting her younger siblings, and even parenting her own parents. For years, she didn’t realize how unhealthy her family dynamics were. It wasn’t until she encountered healthy families that she began to see how different love could look.

In this episode, Michaela shares how those relationships helped reshape her understanding of family, love, boundaries, and healing.

We talk about:

• Why unhealthy family dynamics can feel normal when you grow up inside them
• What it’s like growing up with a narcissistic and controlling parent
• How healthy families and mentors can show you a different way to love
• How to stop carrying responsibility for everyone around you
• Why forgiveness doesn’t always require reconciliation

If you grew up with a narcissistic, abusive, or deeply dysfunctional parent and want to build something healthier, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned

Free Guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce
Book: It’s Not Your Fault
Share Your Story with Restored

Divorce is traumatic for children at every age—but parents can either deepen that wound or help their children heal.

In this conversation, licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst Erica Komisar explains why a “good divorce” requires parents to stop focusing on what feels fair to them and start prioritizing what their children actually need. She shares practical ways to create stability, reduce emotional damage, and protect children from being pulled into adult conflict.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why frequent transitions between homes can destabilize children
• How to tell children about a divorce without overwhelming them
• Why parents must avoid oversharing, badmouthing, and using children as messengers
• How a parent’s emotional regulation affects a child’s ability to cope
• Why flexibility, sacrifice, and stability matter more than rigid ideas of fairness

If you’re divorced, considering divorce, or trying to help your child adjust to a family breakup, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Erica Komisar, her books, and her work

Get the free guide, “7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce”

Get the free guide, “10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing”

If your parents are divorced and seeking a Catholic annulment, it can feel confusing — and even scary. What is an annulment? Is it just “Catholic divorce”? Does it erase your parents’ marriage? And the question many children of divorce are afraid to ask: Does this mean I’m illegitimate?

In this episode, I’m joined by Anthony St. Louis-Sanchez, JCL, Director of the Metropolitan Tribunal of Denver, to explain what annulments are, how the process works, and what they do — and do not — mean for the children of divorced parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What a Catholic annulment actually is
• Why an annulment is not the same thing as divorce
• Whether an annulment makes children “illegitimate”
• How the annulment process works
• How to cling to Christ when your family story feels confusing or painful

If you’re a child of divorce who has ever wondered what your parents’ annulment means about your family, your identity, or your worth — this episode is for you.

Free guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce

Book: It’s Not Your Fault

Restored resources

Book Anthony recommended: When Is Marriage Null? by Paolo Bianchi

Shownotes

When your parents’ divorce or separation hurts deeply, it can raise painful questions about God: Where was He when my family fell apart? Why didn’t He stop it? And if faith matters so much, why didn’t it save my family?

In this episode, Joey talks with Dr. Daniel Meola, co-founder of Life-Giving Wounds, about suffering, anger, grief, spiritual bypassing, and the struggle many adult children of divorce face in their relationship with God.

They discuss:

• Why divorce can feel like abandonment by God
• What to do when faith was used to minimize your pain
• Why anger and grief aren’t signs of weak faith
• How to avoid getting stuck in victimhood or spiritual bypassing
• Why acknowledging your pain may be the first step toward healing
• How God can transform wounds into strength, love, and purpose

If you’re an adult child of divorce or separation who has ever asked, “God, where were You when my family fell apart?” this episode is for you.

Learn more about Life-Giving Wounds

Get the book Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation

Get Joey’s free guide, 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce:

Get Joey’s book, It’s Not Your Fault

Subscribe to the Restored podcast:

Get the Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart

Get the Book: Interior Freedom

Show notes

When your family breaks apart, especially through years of fighting, manipulation, or emotional chaos, you can learn to survive by staying busy, shutting down, or pretending it didn’t affect you.

But what happens when that pain starts showing up in your marriage, your parenting, your confidence, or the way you handle conflict?

In this episode, Billy shares how her parents’ long, painful divorce began after years of intense conflict, manipulation, and isolation. She opens up about coping through overachievement, the safe adults who helped her heal, and the boundaries she’s had to learn with an unsafe parent.

We discuss:

• Why Billy expected her parents to divorce, even as a child
• How she coped by becoming highly involved, successful, and busy
• The loneliness of growing up without safe adults nearby
• How one pastor’s wife helped her feel truly loved for the first time
• Why journaling helped her process, remember, and heal
• How her husband helped her learn to handle conflict without fear
• What boundaries with a parent can look like as an adult
• How Billy is building a healthy family, even though she didn’t come from one

If you’ve ever wondered how to honor your parents without letting them control you, or how to build something healthier than what you came from, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

Share Your Story with Restored:
 https://restoredministry.com/story

7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce or Separation: https://restoredministry.com/7ways

The Gottman Institute: 
https://www.gottman.com/

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott:
https://amzn.to/3PPRy9J

The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute:
https://amzn.to/4aEsBVE

Show notes:
https://restoredministry.com/blog/177

When a parent cheats, it doesn’t just wound the marriage. It can wound the children too.

For many young people from broken families, infidelity creates a terrifying fear: What if I get cheated on too? Or worse, what if I become the one who cheats?

In this episode, Joey talks with marriage and family therapist Doug Hinderer about how affairs happen, why betrayal damages a child’s ability to trust, and how young people from broken families can avoid repeating their parents’ mistakes.

They discuss:

• Why affairs often begin long before anything physical happens
• How infidelity affects children, even years later
• Why love feels unsafe after betrayal
• The role of forgiveness in healing from a parent’s affair
• How to talk about the fear of infidelity in dating or marriage
• The three habits that help build a faithful, lasting marriage
• Why you are not doomed to repeat your parents’ story

If you’re afraid of being cheated on, afraid of becoming your parents, or unsure if lasting love is even possible after what you witnessed growing up, this episode is for you.

Restored Resources

It’s Not Your Fault | Restored Book

Happy Marriage for Life | Doug Hinderer

Marriage Unhindered | Relevant Radio

How to Forgive | International Forgiveness Institute

“Impossible” Marriages Redeemed: They Didn’t End the Story in the Middle | Leila Miller

“Impossible” Marriages Redeemed | Amazon

Doug Hinderer’s email

[email protected]

Shownotes

When your family breaks apart, anger makes sense. But if it has nowhere to go, it can turn into bitterness, depression, addiction, relationship fear, and despair.

In this episode, Autumn shares how her parents’ divorce, her father’s infidelity, generational dysfunction, and sexual abuse shaped the way she saw men, love, marriage, God, and herself. She opens up about the rage she carried, her struggle with pornography addiction, suicidal thoughts, and the fear that she was doomed to repeat her parents’ mistakes.

But her story does not end there.

Autumn also shares how faith, writing, friendship, therapy, forgiveness, and a healthy marriage helped her heal and build a life that looks completely different from the brokenness she came from.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why anger after divorce is often a response to real loss and injustice
• How divorce can feel like a death, even when it was “necessary”
• Why fear of repeating your parents’ mistakes is so common
• How pornography addiction can be connected to deeper wounds
• What Autumn learned to look for in a spouse
• How she forgave her father without pretending the hurt didn’t happen
• Why your parents’ divorce is part of your story, but not your identity

If you’re from a broken family, angry about what happened, afraid of repeating your parents’ story, or wondering if healthy love is even possible for you, this episode is for you.

Share Your Story

Get the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your Fault

What if the person you fall for isn’t just a choice, but a pattern?

Most people think love is about chemistry, attraction, or finding “the one.” But according to today’s guest, the heart alone is not enough.

If you come from a divorced or dysfunctional family, your wounds can shape who you trust, who you’re attracted to, and what feels “normal” in a relationship. Without realizing it, you might be drawn to someone familiar, not because they’re good for you, but because they feel like the past.

In this episode, we explore how to build love with both your heart and your head. We talk about repetition compulsion, red flags, rushing trust or physical intimacy, and how to tell whether someone is actually capable of healthy love.

My guest is Dr. John Van Epp, relationship expert, counselor, and author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I attracted to people who aren’t good for me?” or “How do I avoid repeating my parents’ marriage?” this episode is for you.

Get our book

Check other free resources:

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by Dr. John Van Epp:

Love Thinks

Head Meets Heart course:

Shownotes