In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel and Kachi go down the rabbit hole: how far back does Western influence actually go in Igbo land, and what does that mean for the way we talk about “African culture” today?

Christabel went down a research rabbit hole after someone on Instagram told her that Africans must have been beating their children long before colonialism, otherwise why is it so widespread today? She went looking. What she found should make every person of African descent pause.

In this episode, Christabel and Kachi trace the actual timeline: 500 years of colonial contact, a British model of child-rearing that was explicitly theological, and an Igbo cosmology in which children were revered as reincarnated ancestors sacred beings you could lose if you struck them too hard. This is not ancient African tradition. It is colonial management practice, repackaged as culture and handed down as inheritance.

They also get into what it costs us today: hiding tattoos from parents who are themselves 500 years removed from knowing any better, calling queerness un-African, policing each other's bodies, performing respectability for a version of culture that was installed by the people who beat the original one out of us.

And the question that sits underneath all of it: if not our generation, who is actually doing the work of re-indigenization?

This is the first of many conversations on what it looks like to come home.

If you enjoyed this episode, rate and review us because it really helps. Leave a comment and forward it to one friend today.

Stay connected:

Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @Qingkachi

Catch you in the next one.

XO, 

Christabel & Kachi.

We tried to record this episode three times. Between technological difficulties and actual conflict while making a podcast about repair, the irony was not lost on us. We're here now. And we have a lot to say.

This is Part 2 of our conversation on rupture and repair in intimate relationships,  the ones you grew up in, the ones you chose, and the ones you're still trying to figure out how to stay in. This episode gets into the gritty of it: what aftercare actually looks like when nobody modeled it for you, what happens in your nervous system in the middle of a fight, and why the repair skills you're practicing with the wrong person are still worth developing.

We talk about:

We also get into something we don't hear discussed enough: why people will stay in disappointing romantic relationships for years and throw away a friendship over something minor. And what Audre Lorde has to do with all of it.

This is not dating advice. This is relational advice. And it applies to every relationship you are trying to build a life inside of.

Resources mentioned: Relational Skills for Liberation Workbook and The Repair Manual — get your copy here.

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a comment, review, question and share with one friend today. 

xo, C&K

Episode: Money Loves Circles - Working with Friends ft. Lola

In this groundbreaking first guest episode, Christabel sits down with Oakland-based stylist Lola to challenge one of capitalism's biggest lies: "Don't mix business with friendship."

In This Episode:

About Lola: Lola is an Oakland-based stylist, creative, and dear friend to Christabel and Kachi. She styles WNBA players and helps people unlearn the conditioning that ruins personal style, creating closets that future generations will fight over.

Find Lola:

Timestamps:

Key Quotes: "Money loves circles" - on how wealth circulates among the wealthy "I don't believe in being lonely at the top" "If you can work with your microaggressive boss, you can work with your friend"

If you enjoyed this episode, can you do two things for us please:

See you in the next one.

Ps. the video version is on YouTube if you're a visual person. 

In this deeply vulnerable Part 1 episode, Christabel and Kachi peel back the layers of their origin stories to understand how they learned to navigate conflict, safety, and love.

Coming from two distinct backgrounds, both shaped by the violence of the Biafran genocide survivors and the silence of a strict religious household, we explore the survival strategies that saved us as children but challenged us as adults.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Fighter vs. The Performer: How Christabel learned to "fight back" and "hulk out" as a parentified daughter, while Kachi learned to "perform goodness" and embrace silence to survive a high-control environment.

The Cost of Survival: The impact of domestic violence, physical abuse, and the pressure to be a "good child" on our nervous systems.

Queer Identity in the Shadows: Kachi opens up about navigating lesbian identity in a Nigerian Catholic all girls boarding school and the internal conflict of hiding to stay safe.

Two Paths to Healing: We break down the myth that there is only one way to heal. We discuss how Kachi found herself through solitude, sobriety, and psilocybin , while Christabel needed to heal in relationship to witness her own triggers.

Join us as we trace our attachment styles back to the source and prepare the ground for Part 2.

Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it.

XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties

Christabel & Kachi

Christabel and Kachi are back. Two queer Igbo aunties, newly engaged, talking honestly about what it means to choose a lesbian life in the shadow of homophobic parents, church aunties, and colonial expectations.

In this episode they unpack what engagement and turning forty have stirred up. Christabel shares what it is to propose after two divorces and a Jehovah’s Witness childhood. Kachi talks about returning to the community they grew up in with Christabel who is fully tatted and pierced and feeling the monitoring spirits in the room. Together they name the grief of parents who will never fully celebrate their love, and the freedom that comes from refusing to hide.

They explore grief as an alchemical practice for queer African babies. What happens when you stop waiting for your family to change, tell the truth anyway, and let yourself mourn the parents you wish you had. How grief purifies, how boundaries shift, and how standing in your reality becomes an offering to the ancestors and to the next generation of queer Africans.

If you are the obedient child who turned into the rebellious queer adult, if you are tired of hiding from your family while holding everyone else together, this conversation is for you.

Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it.

XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties

Christabel & Kachi

We keep saying we have mother wounds, but what if the real injury is deeper than our mothers? In this episode, we ask the question no one wants to touch: Who are our mothers, really? Not the role they performed. Not the fears they passed down. But the person underneath all that patriarchal survival.

Christabel and Kachi crack open a deeply personal conversation about rage, abandonment, girlhood, queerness, and what it means to love our mothers without excusing the harm. From forced obedience to performative connection, we explore how patriarchy trains us to mistrust other women, and how healing means confronting the system, not scapegoating each other.

If you've ever felt triggered by other women, if you're grieving the relationship you never had with your mother, if you’re trying to change the dance by changing your own steps, this one’s for you.

If you enjoy our work, please comment/rate/share. This is what helps us get known so we can make money doing work we love.

✨ If you’re in the Bay Area, come be in the room with us for The Gathering on June 21. It’s a lush, intimate night of expertly made cocktails, radically honest conversation, and real community around the theme of Love and Rage.

→ ⁠Get your ticket⁠

Want a deeper way to practice this work?

The Relational Skills for Liberation workbook is your companion, especially if you’re learning how to show up for yourself and others without performing perfection.

→ ⁠Download the workbook⁠

Want early access to future workshops and behind-the-scenes reflections?

→ ⁠Join the waitlist⁠

CONNECT WITH US

📸 Instagram: ⁠@richqueeraunties⁠ | ⁠@christabelmintahgalloway⁠ | ⁠@qingkachi

Love & Rage — What Did You Inherit and What Are You Choosing?

This is our first video upload. Let us know what you think! Should we do more videos?

How do we honor our rage without becoming who harmed us? In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we talk about love and rage, what we inherited, what we’re choosing instead, and how we’re learning to hold both without abandoning ourselves.

We speak as African daughters, as queer folks, as partners learning to fight fair, and as children unlearning obedience as the price of love. This conversation is honest, tender, and necessary.

We explore:

• ​Why rage felt safer than softness in many of our homes

✨ If you’re in the Bay Area, come be in the room with us for The Gathering on June 21. It’s a lush, intimate night of expertly made cocktails, radically honest conversation, and real community around the theme of Love and Rage.

→ Get your ticket

Want a deeper way to practice this work?

The Relational Skills for Liberation workbook is your companion, especially if you’re learning how to show up for yourself and others without performing perfection.

→ Download the workbook

Want early access to future workshops and behind-the-scenes reflections?

→ Join the waitlist

—

CONNECT WITH US

📸 Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @qingkachi

In this raw and reflective episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel and Kachi use the hit show Severance as a powerful metaphor for the emotional fragmentation many of us endure, especially queer, Black, immigrant, and formerly religious folks.

Through deeply personal storytelling, they explore themes of reintegration, rage, community, grief, and the courage it takes to reclaim your full self in a world that rewards compartmentalization. From family estrangement to navigating therapy, medicine, and chosen family, this conversation is a reminder that healing isn’t clean, but it’s real.

Whether you’ve seen Severance or not, this episode invites you to reflect: What parts of yourself have you severed to survive? And what would it take to live from a place of wholeness?

⁠Kachi⁠ on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! 

Tune in and let’s get into it.

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we dive deep into why relational skills are essential for our collective liberation. We explore the tensions between individualism, collectivism, and interdependence, unpacking how capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy have shaped the way we relate to one another.

Christabel and Kachi reflect on their personal journeys with repair, conflict resolution, and deepening relational skills, not just in friendships and romantic relationships, but also in movement spaces. Why do so many relationships fall apart over unspoken expectations? How do we build the resilience to stay, repair, and grow while also discerning when to walk away?

We also talk about the role of community in healing from relational trauma, how prioritizing deep relationships is a direct act of resistance against empire, and why building strong relational skills is crucial for any liberatory movement. Plus, Christabel shares how her 12 years in nursing leadership have shaped her understanding of conflict navigation, emotional intelligence, and showing up for others, even when it’s hard.

This is an episode about unlearning, relearning, and doing the slow, necessary work of repair, for ourselves, our communities, and our collective futures.

Kachi on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! 

Tune in and let’s get into it.

Spirituality should bring us closer to ourselves, to each other, and to the land. But too often, we see people leaving oppressive religious structures only to recreate the same hierarchies, dogma, and isolation in their spiritual journeys.

In this episode, we ask: Are we truly decolonizing our spirituality, or are we just replicating the same patterns with different language?

We explore:

✨ How indigenous wisdom offers pathways to healing beyond Western individualism

✨ The ways colonial trauma shapes modern spiritual practices

✨ Why relational accountability must be central to any spiritual path

✨ How to practice spirituality in a way that fosters community, connection, and liberation

Healing, unlearning, and reclaiming indigenous knowledge should not make us lonelier. It should deepen our relationships and bring us home to interdependence.

Ready to build community while doing this work?

🔹 Come join us at The Gathering (Oakland, Feb 15th) – A space to unlearn and reimagine intimacy outside of patriarchal structures. Tickets available now (4 tickets left)!

🔹 Ọganihu Collective – A community for creatives of diasporic origin building sustainable, interdependent businesses. If you’re a creator looking for ongoing support, join us.

🔹 Comment/rate/review the podcast – This helps a lot for visibility for a podcast hosted by two Black, Queer Women.

Follow Christabel and Kachi on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! 

Love, 

Christabel & Kachi; The Rich Queer Aunties