Uncovering Authenticity: A Solo Episode on Love, Loss, and Learning to Heal Please remember to rate and write a review. It goes a long way to producing a successful podcast and we want nothing but success for my baby.•Don’t forget to visit www.richqueeraunties.com/shop for exclusive RQA merch and original art from Ghana. •follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/ Welcome back to the podcast, where we dive into all things authenticity, community building, and the luxurious lifestyle. But before we pivot to our new direction, I want to share a deeply personal story with you all. For those who have been with me from the start, you know that I launched this podcast to share my thoughts with the world. Later, I teamed up with my ex-wife and partner of eight years to host the show. Now, we're back to where we started, with me (Christabel) hosting a solo podcast. In this episode, I share the painful end of my eight-year relationship. It's a story I've been holding back, but I feel it's time to share. There are lessons to be learned from loving deeply, navigating a healing journey, and resorting to violent tendencies to fulfill one's needs. I also delve into the complexities of polyamory and hypocrisy, and how falling in love amidst the ruins of a shattered relationship can happen. I know that at least one of you will resonate with my story, and I want you to know that you're not alone. I'll admit, some parts of this episode are deeply shameful, and I'm feeling vulnerable. But it's my truth, my full story, and it's worth sharing, even the imperfect parts. So, join me as I tell this story in full once and for all. Christabel.

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Is meme repost culture gaslighting you into thinking you’re doing the work? Doing the work irl and finding your people.  In this episode, I talk about:Examining our beliefsDoing the work to figure out what’s yours and what’s not. Showing up fully in all our messiness to find our people instead of faking it till we make itReposting mental health memes alone does not the work make.Listen, share, and let’s discuss.

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Capitalism and pay me for my work: My struggle with the nuances therein.> How I broke my ankle> Feeling less alone by listening to the stories of others> How much I make as a nurse> I started a Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Christabelmintahgalloway. Become a patron if you’ll like to support me monetarily. > Why I priced/tiered my Patreon the way I did and why I need to keep my 9-5 job> Can I make a living doing what I love> Are these questions as a result of my indoctrination into capitalism> I don’t want to be a starving artist; I did enough starving in my childhood to last a lifetime> Why I would charge more for my time than a hospital pays me on the hour.> I had my first ever speaking gig yesterday speaking at a local college.> Ultimately, I’m choosing to face the work. The work is what I love and what I’ll focus on.

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I’ve had many relationships over the years all with trials but none has been as impactful as my current one with my partner and that with my mom over our lifetime. I believe that our relationships can be outstanding teachers if we are in the right space to be a student. Otherwise, it becomes about blame game. Focusing on the other person’s shortcomings or how they’re toxic or and anything else that is not how we can learn about ourselves from that relationship. Disclaimer *this is not talking about truly abusive relationships*It feels like taboo to talk about thing like your relationship is hard but you both remain intentional about remaining in it but that’s why I think we should. There were so many things that have happened throughout our relationship that many people (and us) would say we probably should have broken up in our first year. I had a lot of anger from a life filled with painful moments. I had grown up a specific way where we yelled, screamed, hit people, thrown things etc. I was always ready to rumble if I felt hurt. Ginele also came into the relationship with her unique set of conditioning. So yeah, it was tumultuous. When I met Ginele, I had just had a pretty nasty divorce a few months prior after 4 years of a pretty abusive relationship. Of course I loved Ginele, but I had conditioning that I hadn’t worked on. My favorite thing to say was I am who I am and if you don’t like it, oh well. While secretly, I felt ashamed of the ways I acted out. But after a year of utter chaos, the love I had for her and the love she had for me motivated me for the first time to see if I can change the way I expressed my emotions. Five years later, here I am, grown and healed in so many ways. And six years into our relationship, the lessons keep coming. While there are things I desperately wish I could change in our history, I can honestly say that she has been the truest reflection of myself that I’ve ever had. It’s so hard to see yourself. It’s much easier to see someone else and tell them what they need to work on. Shifting from that to just seeing yourself, sitting with that revelation, accepting it, and looking for ways to gain new skills to help you navigate life and your relationships with more ease is life-changing work. Our culture has taught us to throw in the towel early. If it’s hard in a certain manner, or for a prolonged period, or in a recurrent way, it’s not meant to be. And while I’m sure the sentiment that love should be easy resonates with and is true for some people, it’s never resonated with me. I don’t know of any uncomplicated relationships. I’ve never seen that, and so I don’t relate. What I know though and have witnessed in my life is the magic that comes from using love as a catalyst to learn, evolve, grow and repair relationships that matter to us. By Instagram standards, I should have disavowed my mom so long ago. We have a very difficult history filled with abuse and it was the worst relationship in my life for a really long time. But when I started therapy and just talking about and processing everything that I went through in her hands, I learned compassion for her and by extension for self. She did the best with the knowledge she had. She saw certain treatments that were incredibly harmful to me as normal. So, when I learned the skills of telling her how what she did affected me, the skills of setting boundaries with her, and her (unspoken) determination to do the work, our relationship changed for the better. And it’s still evolving to this day. I’m so glad I stuck it out with her. And that’s kinda how I feel about Ginele and I. It’s been so hard. We have traumatic memories that I’d rather not have. We’ve married, there’s been infidelities, we’ve divorced, there are trust issues, there’s still a fairly regular conversation about if we’ll make it. If perhaps the hurt is too much to overcome. So, we work, we go to therapy, we fight, we cry, we threaten to leave weekly because it fe

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Back Like I never LeftHere’s a quick update on what I’ve been up do in the last three months. To include: COVID- 19 emergency relief work in southern TexasI turned 35 during first hurricane ever! In Mexico!!Not being sure of who you want to be when you grow upDealing with self-doubt, a different brain and a world that demands productivityHealing from religious indoctrination in order to find my voice (ps. still searching). And so many more...30 minutes of just chatting it up. I'll be back to recording more regularly now that I’m finally choosing to slow life down a little bit.

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Q&A : Coming out, skin care, organized religion, and more.In my first Q&A, I tackle questions asked on IG about how I came out, what my skin care routine is, what I think of organized religion after being an active participant in one for two decades.I loved all the questions that came through! I do think I missed a couple that we’re sent in my DMs because I couldn’t find it but there’ll be other opportunities to do this again in the future.Resource: @ihartericka on IG for antiracist education for younger adults

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Aberrant Behavior - Black joy, white fragility, and everything in betweenAn episode where I just ramble about a few things weighing on my mind to include:New white activists, I need an explanation on why you never saw racism until now. In fact, don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical. I believe you’ve always known, you just didn’t want to sacrifice that promotion by speaking up. While it’s great for the collective human race that you’re choosing to be co-conspirators, just know that there’s a mental and emotional toll that your sudden awakening is taking on Black people - well, I’ll just say me because Black is not a monolith.White fragility and white tears and white guilt are boring and so tired and like get over it so you can get to work. Acknowledge your feelings because they’re worthwhile but don’t over identify with it and certainly don’t let it leave you paralyzed into inaction.Black joy is revolutionary so fellow Black people, do all you can to cultivate it. Live your life fully, joyously, unapologetically. I talk about getting back to my self care practices that ensures that I keep that joy popping.Until next time,xoc.

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