Rich Queer Aunties

By Christabel Mintah-Galloway

As people of diasporic origin, living authentically means delving deep into our cultural legacy burdens. At ’Rich Queer Aunties,’ we go beyond financial success, embracing rich insights, truth, and au... more

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FAQs about Rich Queer Aunties:

How many episodes does Rich Queer Aunties have?

The podcast currently has 35 episodes available.

Rich Queer Aunties episodes:

January 29, 2022 Introducing Fireside Chats With Ginele and Christabel.
Hi everyone, it's been a while but that's because I really haven't been in the mood to record.
I recorded this episode with Ginele back in November and I’m finally uploading it because I think its hella cute and raw and honest…kinda like our relationship.
We’re going to be recording episodes going forward called Fireside Chats with Ginele and Christabel to talk about all the things. Our relationship is my favorite. Not because it’s perfect but because it is a chronicle of two people who knew nothing about how to love, learning to love and nurture themselves and each other.
We’ve made a lot of mistakes, caused a lot of harm, and healed and gained amazing skills in the process and it’s my fav write story to tell. Enjoy!
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9min
May 25, 2021 Is meme repost culture gaslighting you into thinking you’re doing the work? Doing the work irl and finding your people.
Is meme repost culture gaslighting you into thinking you’re doing the work? Doing the work irl and finding your people.
In this episode, I talk about:
Examining our beliefs
Doing the work to figure out what’s yours and what’s not.
Showing up fully in all our messiness to find our people instead of faking it till we make it
Reposting mental health memes alone does not the work make.
Listen, share, and let’s discuss.
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24min
February 17, 2021 Capitalism vs. pay me for my work
Capitalism and pay me for my work: My struggle with the nuances therein.
> How I broke my ankle
> Feeling less alone by listening to the stories of others
> How much I make as a nurse
> I started a Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Christabelmintahgalloway. Become a patron if you’ll like to support me monetarily.
> Why I priced/tiered my Patreon the way I did and why I need to keep my 9-5 job
> Can I make a living doing what I love
> Are these questions as a result of my indoctrination into capitalism
> I don’t want to be a starving artist; I did enough starving in my childhood to last a lifetime
> Why I would charge more for my time than a hospital pays me on the hour.
> I had my first ever speaking gig yesterday speaking at a local college.
> Ultimately, I’m choosing to face the work. The work is what I love and what I’ll focus on.
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29min
December 29, 2020 Relationships as my biggest teacher.
I’ve had many relationships over the years all with trials but none has been as impactful as my current one with my partner and that with my mom over our lifetime. I believe that our relationships can be outstanding teachers if we are in the right space to be a student. Otherwise, it becomes about blame game. Focusing on the other person’s shortcomings or how they’re toxic or and anything else that is not how we can learn about ourselves from that relationship.
Disclaimer *this is not talking about truly abusive relationships*
It feels like taboo to talk about thing like your relationship is hard but you both remain intentional about remaining in it but that’s why I think we should. There were so many things that have happened throughout our relationship that many people (and us) would say we probably should have broken up in our first year.
I had a lot of anger from a life filled with painful moments. I had grown up a specific way where we yelled, screamed, hit people, thrown things etc. I was always ready to rumble if I felt hurt. Ginele also came into the relationship with her unique set of conditioning. So yeah, it was tumultuous. When I met Ginele, I had just had a pretty nasty divorce a few months prior after 4 years of a pretty abusive relationship. Of course I loved Ginele, but I had conditioning that I hadn’t worked on. My favorite thing to say was I am who I am and if you don’t like it, oh well. While secretly, I felt ashamed of the ways I acted out. But after a year of utter chaos, the love I had for her and the love she had for me motivated me for the first time to see if I can change the way I expressed my emotions. Five years later, here I am, grown and healed in so many ways. And six years into our relationship, the lessons keep coming.
While there are things I desperately wish I could change in our history, I can honestly say that she has been the truest reflection of myself that I’ve ever had. It’s so hard to see yourself. It’s much easier to see someone else and tell them what they need to work on. Shifting from that to just seeing yourself, sitting with that revelation, accepting it, and looking for ways to gain new skills to help you navigate life and your relationships with more ease is life-changing work. Our culture has taught us to throw in the towel early. If it’s hard in a certain manner, or for a prolonged period, or in a recurrent way, it’s not meant to be. And while I’m sure the sentiment that love should be easy resonates with and is true for some people, it’s never resonated with me. I don’t know of any uncomplicated relationships. I’ve never seen that, and so I don’t relate. What I know though and have witnessed in my life is the magic that comes from using love as a catalyst to learn, evolve, grow and repair relationships that matter to us.
By Instagram standards, I should have disavowed my mom so long ago. We have a very difficult history filled with abuse and it was the worst relationship in my life for a really long time. But when I started therapy and just talking about and processing everything that I went through in her hands, I learned compassion for her and by extension for self. She did the best with the knowledge she had. She saw certain treatments that were incredibly harmful to me as normal. So, when I learned the skills of telling her how what she did affected me, the skills of setting boundaries with her, and her (unspoken) determination to do the work, our relationship changed for the better. And it’s still evolving to this day. I’m so glad I stuck it out with her. And that’s kinda how I feel about Ginele and I. It’s been so hard. We have traumatic memories that I’d rather not have. We’ve married, there’s been infidelities, we’ve divorced, there are trust issues, there’s still a fairly regular conversation about if we’ll make it. If perhaps the hurt is too much to overcome.
So, we work, we go to therapy, we fight, we cry, we threaten to leave weekly because it fe
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39min
December 05, 2020WE MOVED TO OAKLAND! and other life updates.
It’s been a while and I want to say thank you for all your FIVE STAR REVIEWS! It makes a difference in getting the podcast to reach the people to whom it’s intended for.
Things I talk about in this episode:
Life updates:
Leaving texas, going to Mexico, Indiana
Moving all our stuff from Indiana and finally moving to Oakland after our first travel assignment here 5 years ago
The loft; how spacious it is, how I got my water view finally! The fun I’ve been having decorating
The trauma post COVID nursing in Texas based on the healthcare disparities I witnessed and how I’m healing from it
Ginele leaving for texas again and how hard that was
Another growth spurt opportunity there to confront my relational habits
How I’m learning to self care while in a relationship. Taking care of my inner child without plopping her down in front of my partners to have them take care of her.
Realizations I’m having in therapy around self care when in a relationship.
Thought I’d start adding a section to the end of the podcast each week.
The things that are bringing me joy this week:
I finally mostly read a book even if I was scrolling Instagram every 5 minutes
Discovering that I have the capacity to mother my inner child in the most glorious way I seek from romantic partners
Decorating. Crafting a home. So much joy.
Community. FaceTime dates. Friends who you can talk about your emotions with to no end.
Let’s connect on IG and talk about the episode if you feel keen to.
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30min
October 08, 2020 Back Like I never Left
Back Like I never Left
Here’s a quick update on what I’ve been up do in the last three months. To include:
COVID- 19 emergency relief work in southern Texas
I turned 35 during first hurricane ever! In Mexico!!
Not being sure of who you want to be when you grow up
Dealing with self-doubt, a different brain and a world that demands productivity
Healing from religious indoctrination in order to find my voice (ps. still searching).
And so many more...30 minutes of just chatting it up.
I'll be back to recording more regularly now that I’m finally choosing to slow life down a little bit.
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33min
July 02, 2020 Q&A : Coming out, skin care, organized religion, and more.
Q&A : Coming out, skin care, organized religion, and more.
In my first Q&A, I tackle questions asked on IG about how I came out, what my skin care routine is, what I think of organized religion after being an active participant in one for two decades.
I loved all the questions that came through! I do think I missed a couple that we’re sent in my DMs because I couldn’t find it but there’ll be other opportunities to do this again in the future.
Resource: @ihartericka on IG for antiracist education for younger adults
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49min
June 16, 2020 Black joy, white fragility, and everything in between
Aberrant Behavior - Black joy, white fragility, and everything in between
An episode where I just ramble about a few things weighing on my mind to include:
New white activists, I need an explanation on why you never saw racism until now. In fact, don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical. I believe you’ve always known, you just didn’t want to sacrifice that promotion by speaking up. While it’s great for the collective human race that you’re choosing to be co-conspirators, just know that there’s a mental and emotional toll that your sudden awakening is taking on Black people - well, I’ll just say me because Black is not a monolith.
White fragility and white tears and white guilt are boring and so tired and like get over it so you can get to work. Acknowledge your feelings because they’re worthwhile but don’t over identify with it and certainly don’t let it leave you paralyzed into inaction.
Black joy is revolutionary so fellow Black people, do all you can to cultivate it. Live your life fully, joyously, unapologetically. I talk about getting back to my self care practices that ensures that I keep that joy popping.
Until next time,
xoc.
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25min
June 03, 2020 Not Racist? Not Enough! - How to become anti-racist.
Not Racist? Not Enough! - How to become anti-racist.
This is from my perspective as an African who wasn’t always anti-racist. Being Black wasn’t enough for me, I had to become actively anti-racist. Many Black activist resist the idea of teaching anti-racism to white people and NBPOC because they are tired. I still have some energy so let’s go!
Not being racist is the bare minimum, you don’t get cookies for it. And this goes for all Africans or non American Black people, people of color and other immigrants.
Some ways you can become actively anti-racist:
First of all fight the egotistical need to be seen as not-racist. Not being racist is not enough, the goal is to be actively anti racist
Pick up a book, many books and educate yourself on the racist past and present of America. Education really is key, take the time to actually educate yourself.
Begin to notice anti Blackness in movies and the media. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Then help your family and friends see it too.
When Black people tell you something is racist, believe us. It’s not in our heads. It’s not made up. We don’t make everything about race.
Teach your kids to see color. Them being color blind is part of the problem. Say the word Black when referring to Black people. It’s not a dirty word. We’re not inherently violent.
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35min
May 23, 2020 Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning
Aberrant Behavior Episode 5 - Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning
In this episode, I talk about how most of our behaviors and what we consider our personalities are as a result of subconscious conditioning. As always, I draw from my experience.
When I wanted to change behavior patterns that were no longer serving me, I thought it was a matter of willpower but after that failed me time and time again, I decided to dig deeper.
Some of the things I talk about are:
How I got to a place where I could forgive my ex-wife (and regain closes friendship with her) for cheating on me twice before our first anniversary.
Hint: it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me focusing on transmuting my pain into powerful behavior change
the difference between the colloquial use of the term EGO and it's use in human psychology. And why it is important to get familiar with our Ego in order to stop- operating from a place of subconscious conditioning
I mention the book The Four agreements and how learning about them is changing my life
unlearning parental and societal conditioning. Why do we believe what we belive? Is it a matter of genetics or mere social conditioning?
How can you be sure that YOU hate body hair?
Our parents/earliest caregivers are not perfect, they're just people with their own traumas who happened to procreate. Should owe then take their word as gospel?
Goal of all this work
getting free from bondage from our thoughts and feelings
leaving the prison of our minds
moving through life with intention
being able to witness our thoughts and make the associations and own our shit without ascribing blame to other people
unlearning conditioned beliefs
getting to know our truest selves
improving our inner peace and wellbeing
improving our relationships all around
in relationships, I notice when patterns are repeating themselves and I can better detach and recalibrate
Resources:
The Four Agreements: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Agreements
The difference between the colloquial use of ego and the psychological use: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/wisdom/whats-the-best-way-to-define-ego/
Dr. Nicole LePera. She has some amazing FREE resources on doing Ego work: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/
I wish you all a happy healing!Love, xoc.
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42min

FAQs about Rich Queer Aunties:

How many episodes does Rich Queer Aunties have?

The podcast currently has 35 episodes available.

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