The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast

Scapegoated Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers


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Narcissistic mothers are completely absorbed with themselves. Many of them have children to enhance their image of having a perfect family. The work of raising, nurturing and protecting one's child is expected and essential. The narcissistic mother often turns her daughter over to babysitters or nannies when the child is very young, even an infant. She makes sure that friends and acquaintances believe that she is a devoted mother. She talks about her daughter, pretending that she is emotionally invested in her child. 

Narcissistic mothrs often rule the family. Father is present in name only. He is a fixture in is own house. Some of these fathers are workaholics and prefer to be away from home rather than deal with the cold, harsh temperament of this woman.

The scapegoated daughter has no defense against the ridicule, demeaning verbal assaults of these highly disturbed mothers. Their stories of being taunted and humiliated are heartrending. 

Some of these daughters experience symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome and spend years in the aftermath of these traumas and their efforts to heal. Individuals who have been through such a prolonged ordeal need our understanding and compassion.  

Many of them find their way to healing through support roups, participate in psychotherapy, work with healing modalities--gentle yoga, forms of mindfulness and meditation. The deeper our understanding of the true nature of narcissistic mothers the better we are prepared to help ourselves in the process of healing, restoration and the rediscovery of the real, authentic, creative self.

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The Narcissist in Your Life PodcastBy Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT

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