The "man box" doesn't leave much room for sensitive boys.

Photo by Debra Brown via Flickr

Society prefers rough-and-tumble boys and men -- the strong, stoic types who lift heavy loads and "buck up," rather than cry, when injured or down. So how do we help our sensitive boys navigate a world that doesn't value their sensitivity?

"Sensitive boys are very, very special human beings," says Dr. Sandy Gluckman, a psychologist based in Texas. "The problem is that society, parents and teachers tend to see their sensitivity as a weakness."

The truth, though, is that the ability to sense and respond to others' feelings is a gift, as is the ability to experience art, music and life on a deep, emotional level.

"They need to learn to own their own feelings, but not the feelings of others," Sandy says. Because sensitive children absorb the feelings of others', you may need to help your son untangle his emotions from others. You can explain that "the sadness you're feeling from David is not yours, so you don't need to pick it up," Dr. Sandy says. Tell you son,  "you can have  empathy or compassion for David, but it should not change your energy or the way you feel about yourself or what you're doing."

Sensitive parents can help their sons by narrating their own experiences with sensitivity.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Sandy discuss:

Characteristics of sensitive children

Parenting sensitive boys

Why sensitivity can feel like a burden

Helping boys appreciate & embrace the gifts of sensitivity

Social challenges for sensitive boys

How to strengthen your son's self-concept

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Helping Boys Become Resilient w Dr. Sandy Gluckman -- our first ON BOYS conversation w Sandy

You Asked About Age 14, Implicit Bias and Sensitive Boys -- ON BOYS episode

Sensory Processing Disorder (w Nancy Peske) -- ON BOYS episode

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