Sex and disability. Two words most people still find uncomfortable in the same sentence. I sat down with sexologist Casey Payne to talk about what we get wrong, why pleasure belongs to everyone regardless of how their body works, and what it actually looks like to reclaim intimacy after disability, illness, or a body that's changed.

Things Discussed

• Why disability and sexuality are both taboo and what happens when you put them together
• Redefining sex beyond intercourse and why that matters for anyone whose body has changed
• The orgasm gap and why around 90 per cent of women can't orgasm through penetration alone
• How carers and parents can support sexual autonomy without having every conversation themselves
• Practical ways to start reclaiming pleasure after illness, injury, or chronic health conditions
• How to find a sexologist in Australia and what to expect

Chapter Timestamps

• [00:00] Sex and disability: why this conversation matters
• [03:00] Redefining what sex actually is
• [06:30] Body image and who sex is for
• [09:00] The orgasm gap and sex toys as tools
• [13:00] Carers, parents and adult sexuality
• [18:30] How sex education lowers abuse risk
• [22:00] Reclaiming sexuality after disability
• [26:00] Starting with pleasure, not sex
• [28:00] What sex education should look like
• [29:30] How to find a sexologist in Australia

Resources and Links

• The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, includes a workbook
• The Orgasm Gap by Karen Gurney
• Sex Education on Netflix, seasons 1 and 2 recommended
• Society of Australian Sexologists: sexologist.org.au
• Pleasure Pixel professional development course for support workers: pleasurepixel.com.au
• Free resource on getting comfortable talking about sex: marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex

Keep the Conversation Going

• Download the free resource at marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex
• Got a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships? Submit it at forms.gle/ExJAeBTXAfn8xGkQ9 and it might feature in a future Ask Marie episode.
• If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it. A rating on Apple Podcasts helps more people find the show.

Guest Information

Casey Payne is a sexologist specialising in sexual health, disability, and intimacy, with a professional development course for support workers and other resources for adults at pleasurepixel.com.au.

About the Show

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