Sex With Emily

Shaun T is host of the podcast “Trust and Believe,” a world renowned fitness trainer, and a professional dancer. Not to mention a wonderfully sex positive man, but it was a journey – I repeat, a JOURNEY – to get there.

On today’s show, Shaun T gives me his genius sex and arousal hacks, how he and his partner keep things interesting after 12 years and two kids, plus…his favorite kink. He also opens up about surviving childhood sexual assault, how he came to understand and accept his sexuality, and the trauma work he did to get to where he is today. Trust me: if you need an instant pick-me-up around your sex, sexuality, or your body, this is *the* conversation for you. 

Show Notes:

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Despite their reputation as magical, mysterious events, orgasms are way more accessible than most of us realize, once we understand the science behind them. (And OK yeah, I admit – they’re pretty magical.)

As everyone’s favorite muscle spasm, the orgasm is a series of contractions from your pelvic floor muscles, which all of us have, and all of us can strengthen. But what else sets you up for orgasmic success? What if you can experience one alone, but not with a partner? What if you can orgasm in your sleep, but not in waking life? And what if you want to experience different kinds of orgasm (like anal) or, want multiples? I say: be greedy with your orgasm and listen to this best of episode, where we answer all these O questions and more.   

Show Notes:

• 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them)

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What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you?

Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex. 

Show Notes:

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It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way?

Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy, and we all want to please our partners – and by the end of this episode, I think you’ll feel much more clear on how to arouse your partner. 

Show Notes:

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What does it mean exactly, when someone says they’re a voyeur? A sub? A cuckhold or an exhibitionist? It’s part 2 of our “You’re Kinkier Than You Think” series…and folks, we are getting a kinky education. 

On today’s episode, I’m walking you through your sexual fantasies to see where you land on the kink spectrum. I’m talking submission and domination, exhibitionism and voyeurism, even a little humiliation, if that’s your preferred kink flavor. But because kink is play, I’m also giving you some specific ideas for how to explore these fantasies IRL – and, bonus, I’m taking all of your kinky questions. 

Show Notes:

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What would the world be like if we didn’t have shame about sex? Can you imagine how different your life would be, if you were told that sexual pleasure was healthy? If you were given the memo early on that masturbation was legit self-care, and that sex itself was joyful and good for you, rather than a one-way ticket to STI’s and unwanted pregnancy?  

Today’s best-of show is all about being the change we want to see in the world: becoming people who are conversant and comfortable discussing sex, because this is how we evolve people. Plus, I take your calls! Why using toys during sex is the literal best, what the hell a “lube shooter” is, and how to lovingly - persuasively - ask your partner for more oral. 

Show Notes:

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When you hear the words “BDSM” and “kink,” what comes to mind? Leather? Whips? The truth is, all of us are a little kinky – you may just not have realized it yet. That’s why today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part BDSM and kink education series, where I help demystify this world and give you fun, safe options for exploring. Dungeons optional. 

First, we’re defining our terms and getting a grasp on kink and BDSM – including, what the hell “BDSM” actually means. Next, we’re taking a look at core desires to help you identify yours, and talking about the psychology of power and play. Finally, I’m giving you some entry-level ways to bring kink to the bedroom, whether you’re coupled or single…and, answering all of your kinky questions. 

Show Notes:

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Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a slight penis curve, it’s common to have penis questions – especially when they’re affecting your sex life. But where do you go for answers? You come right here, to this informative convo between me and urologist Dr. Edward Karpman, as well as Jeff Abraham of Promescent. 

On this best-of show, we’re talking to you all about penis shockwave therapy, what to do when you can get erect (but aren’t climaxing), what to do when you take ED meds (but aren’t getting hard), and much more. Plus, I take your intimacy questions! How to get out of your head during sex, how to reduce anxiety in the run-up to intercourse, and how to effectively work with your penis as you get older. 

Show Notes:

Missionary Sex Position - New and Improved

For more Dr. Karpman: Website | Instagram

For more information about Promescent: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

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If you’re a parent or caregiver, should you talk to your child about masturbation? Yes. You absolutely should, even if it’s awkward, even if your own parents didn’t talk about it with you. (And let’s be real: they probably didn’t.) But I get it – finding the words can be hard, especially for such a touchy subject. That’s why today’s episode is devoted entirely to giving you tools, scripts and resources to help you.

First, I give you the big why: Why should you talk to your children, and teens specifically, about masturbation? I’ll give you several science-backed reasons why it’s wise to do so. Next, we’ll do some masturbation myth-busting, to help alleviate any concerns, on their part or yours, that it’s harmful or unhealthy. Great news: it’s not! And finally, I’ll walk you through how to have this conversation, with specific verbiage you can use to help put yourself and your child at ease. Don’t worry caregivers: I got you, and in this episode I’ll also answer your questions about teens and sex. Should you talk to your teen about ethical porn? What should you do if a teen daughter starts asking about sex toys? All this and more on today’s show. 

Show Notes:

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On any given day, how do you talk about sex? Do you bone? Screw? Make love? According to my guest Amanda Montell, author of Wordslut, Cultish, and host of the podcast “Sounds Like a Cult,” the words we use to discuss sex reveals our attitudes about sex as a whole – even shaping the way we show up in the bedroom.   

In this fascinating best of episode, Amanda and I talk about sex slang and body part euphemisms, like the fact that we frequently cute-ify female genitals to make them less threatening. But before you go, “oh this is thinky academic stuff,” know this: practically-speaking, your sex life WILL improve as your communication improves. Listen in, as Amanda and I play with language to get the sex we want. 

For More Amanda Montell:

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