Sex With Emily

Squirting during sex: how, exactly, does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For vulva owners, squirting is a thing of mystery - but it doesn’t need to be. In this special Best Of episode, I’m giving you my tips and firsthand experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator Deborah Sundahl, who teaches us exactly how to squirt -- and I mean, step by step.

For example: did you know, vulva owners, that you have a prostate? That’s the g-spot, despite headlines you see every few months questioning its very existence. Also: did you know that clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that EVERY vulva owner can squirt? It’s not magic -- it’s anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on squirting, from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do. 

Show Notes:

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We’ve all heard of red flags in relationships, but let’s be honest: sometimes, they can be terribly hard to spot. Especially when you really want a relationship to work, or, if the other person is super hot. (Am I right?) That’s why I’m bringing you a special episode today, focused on all things red flags -- and green flags -- with my two favorite voices on the matter, psychologist and author Dr. Ramani, and YouTube’s (and probably the world’s) favorite dating coach, Matthew Hussey. 

Dr. Ramani and I take a deep dive on narcissism, and talk through things like love bombing, devaluation, and the different types of narcissists out there -- as well as the personality types who tend to fall for them. And if you’re thinking, “I wouldn’t possibly fall for that nonsense,” think again! These folks are master manipulators, and at their core, deeply insecure. Next, Matthew Hussey walks us through our own less-than-ideal tendencies, such as: why we keep going for aloof and unavailable people, how we repeat painful patterns from our childhood, and how we ignore someone’s inconvenient truth. But Matthew also tells us what to look for when we’re dating someone new, such as curiosity, equal investment, and consistency with words and actions. If you’re dating right now, listen to this episode -- twice. 

Show Notes:

Dr Remani: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube

Matthew Hussey: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube

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Anything worth having takes time, whether that’s a better sex life, a deeper relationship, or an awesome relationship with your body. But staying consistent is hard: we get bored, we get rebellious, we want to cut corners. We’re human, after all! That’s why, if we want to meet goals - ANY goal - we have to create rituals. And the key to sticking with them? Identifying your “why.”

So on today’s Best Of show, I’m talking to Max Lugavere, host of The Genius Life podcast, and Jennifer Cohen, host of Habits and Hustle, to give us the lowdown on sexy self improvement. Max gives me the scoop on food addiction (and its similarities to porn addiction), how daily sunlight improves our health, and how processed food short circuits our satiety signals. Jennifer tells me the three habits successful people all have in common, how to get your partner on-board for working out, and the correlation between exercise and sex drive. Get out your grocery lists and gratitude journals, because after this episode, you’ll be totally inspired to start small habits for big self-growth. 

Show Notes:

Max Lugavere | Website | Instagram | Facebook | Youtube

Jen Cohen  | Website | Instagram | Twitter

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2021, we hardly knew ya. Just kidding, we totally did, and we’ve got the FaceTime sex to prove it. All year long, we’ve been saving up the very best moments of Sex With Emily, so you can walk into 2022 more sex-wise than ever. From squirting to sex dreams, Nikki Glaser to Esther Perel, we’re doing a hot flashback of YOUR most talked-about episodes. 

On this show, we’ve banked the top pieces of sex wisdom from hands-down incredible guests. Discover your dating style, locate the g-spot once and for all, and build your sexual confidence with some of the smartest (and funniest) voices out there. Before you create your New Year’s resolution list, be sure to listen to this one – because I guarantee you, their advice will elevate your 2022. 

Show Notes:

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner

To Find Your Chronotype

Female Ejaculation & The G Spot by Deborah Sundahl

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Where do men get their earliest messages about sex and intimacy? Why do they talk about banging / pounding / hitting it (like they’re at a construction site), and how does this conditioning affect your sex life – no matter your gender? Peggy Ornstein is the author of several iconic books on teens and sex, but on today’s fan favorite episode, she joins me to talk about Boys & Sex: a fascinating account of young men as they navigate hookups, porn and relationships, as told by the boys she interviewed. 

In this episode, you’ll learn how even in the shadow of #MeToo, boys are still confused about having mutually fulfilling sex, while still being a “man.” Listen - when it comes to masculinity, Peggy is an expert. She explains why she doesn’t love the term “toxic masculinity.” She recognizes that men get a confusing message: be dominant, but don’t be too aggressive. Reporting from the front lines of bro culture, Peggy reveals the sex conundrum that men so often find themselves in, and ways we can all evolve to have relationships that are more interesting, more erotic, and more emotionally intelligent. 

For More Information on Peggy Orenstein:

Website | Instagram | Twitter

Boys & Sex

Girls & Sex

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To get our needs met, we first have to be able to articulate our needs – and be brave enough to share them out loud. But it’s easier said than done! We get worried about what the other person will say, or we don’t have the words to express what we want, so we bury those longings and wait for a better time. Then before we know it, years have passed, and that better time never arrived. We’re sexually frustrated and resentful, because we never had the sex talk that was crucial to our happiness…until now. 

On this show, we’re leaning into discomfort, so we can come out on the other side sexually satisfied. In other words: we’re learning how to have a sex talk! Even when it’s just with yourself. How do you cultivate positive self-talk, when everyone around you affirms your hotness - but your brain just doesn’t buy it? Or how about when one of you wants to have sex every day, and the other doesn’t: how do you communicate your way through mismatched desires? Finally, let’s get into improving the quality of your sex life with a partner: when the sex itself has become rote, routine, or just plain boring, how do you revive it? The first step is an open conversation, and on this episode, I’m giving you scripts and tools so you can get over those fears, and get into mutually satisfying pleasure. 

Show Notes:

The Sex with Emily Yes No Maybe List

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“Women cheat for emotional connection, men cheat for sex.” “Men are horn dogs, women are frigid.” Heard any of this before? Did you know these are factually untrue? In this fan favorite episode, cultural anthropologist and bestselling author Wednesday Martin joins me to talk about female sexuality research findings, now that more females are entering the field of sex research. Believe me when I say: her revelations will change your life.

Wednesday’s book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free was a major conversation starter. Today, we’re more open to alternative relationship models, and a huge part of that is because of Wednesday. In this conversation, she debunks the lies we’ve been told for decades about female sexuality, including: men just want to spread their seed, while women want to protect their precious eggs. Wrong! Turns out, monogamy is pretty rough on female desire. How about this one: women cheat because they crave emotional care. Nope! Sometimes, women just want sex with someone new. Finally, how did these lies get started in the first place? Wednesday walks us through the faulty science that got us here, and how accurate measures of female desire are radically changing the way we understand sex – for all genders. 

For More Information About Wednesday Martin:

Website | Instagram | Twitter

Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong

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Welcome to the wide world of alternative relationship models. Opening up, threesomes, and swinging are increasingly becoming more mainstream, so naturally, we’ve got questions. Some of us do better with monogamy, but some of us thrive with a little variety - and no matter where we land on the spectrum of relationships and sex, we can always gain vocabulary to explore our desires, and act on our pleasure.

So on today’s show, I take your questions on open relationships and we get into it. First, we tackle open relationships when we’re already partnered. How do you establish the ground rules? What do you do when your partner has a date but you don’t, and you feel that jealousy coming on? Next, threesomes and swinging: how do you practice safe sex in a group sex situation? Finally: when you’re the third party, what’s the best way to talk to the partner of your partner? In this case, and truly all others, the key is becoming a grade A communicator – because if there’s one thing you can count on in an alternative relationship, it’s lots and lots of talking. 

Show Notes:

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino

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You may think of her as divorce attorney to the stars, and Laura Wasser is certainly that. But Laura is also a sharp thinker on marriage and communication, and is here to tell us what every couple needs to know before saying "I do." She says that couples who have the prenup conversation are actually more likely to stay together than those who don't, and that money is an even bigger conversational taboo than sex. She also tells us what it's like repping actor clients vs. musician clients, why we're seeing a celebrity-led trend of "gentle separations," and how social media has changed the game for divorce cases.

Plus, I take your divorce questions! When is it time to say "I don't," and get the hell out? Or how about if you're single, and have a tendency to hook up with older, separated men -- are they just your type? Or...are there some deeper conversations you need to be having, with them, and with yourself? Let's talk dating as a divorcee: when is it OK to tell the kids you've met someone new? And finally, after being married for so long, how do you tell the difference between love and lust, when you're back on the scene? All this and more, on today's divorce show. 

For More Information on Laura wasser:

Website | Instagram

It’s Over Easy: Website | Instagram | Twitter

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In order to feel turned on, we first have to feel safe. And that’s the funny thing about trust: once it’s broken, it has a way of quietly shutting us down, so that our relationships aren’t as deep, our curiosity is blocked, and even our self-sex takes a hit. But there IS hope: trust can be healed. Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing, and if we compassionately work on ourselves (possibly with a partner), we feel worlds better - more secure, and definitely more sexy.

So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take some of my favorite calls on trust, and how to repair it. What happens if your spouse cheated on you, to the point where sex feels sorta gross now? Or how about if you were the cheater, and your sex life just isn’t the same? (Two words: couples therapy.) How about this one: you’re in a partnership, and things are basically fine - but the spark has completely worn off, and you don’t know how to talk about it? Or, what if you tell a new partner you love them, they don’t reciprocate, and THEN the sex takes a nosedive? In both cases, I’ve got answers. Finally, when you’re “too picky” of a dater, is it really because they’re all duds? Or, are there some underlying trust issues there, that are keeping your sexuality safe, cool, and totally dormant? The bottom line is this: when we feel free, we feel sexy. And on today’s episode, we’re helping you radically reclaim your erotic freedom.

Show Notes:

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