Shut up a Second

In which our heroes take out their pencil sharpener, sharpen the lead to a perfect point to only have it instantly break as they discuss pencils. We discover the corruption of kid’s birthday party games, break pencils all day long and bask in the nostalgic smell of pencil shavings. Jackson never got his pen license and is therefore a criminal, Alli loves the four-colour pencil and Tessa just wants kids to be impressed by her colouring skills. So join the gang as they bust out the Derwents, get drawing and try to colour inside the lines. If you lend us a pencil don’t expect it back.Want to help keeping those sectional pencils together? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the longevity of kids stationary.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected]

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In which our heroes avoid the dentist, go hunting for an everlasting gobstopper and eat their body weight in sugar as they discuss candy. We become the star attraction on the circus circuit, send letters to candy suppliers for nefarious reasons and discuss the Cronenberg-esque body horror of slowly turning into candy over a week. Jackson gets annoyed at giant lollypops, Alli finds out what gummy tummy is and Duscher just wants to subtlety put his headphones back on. So join the gang as they get tooth decay and ruin a lot of different kinds of candy for you.Want to help supply Alli with a lifetime supply of fairy floss? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her acquiring diabetes.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to [email protected]

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In which our heroes put on their lycra, pump up their tyres, find their safest helmet and start peddling as they talk all things bicycles. We take a look at the four set phrases bosses say, wonder if death threats make something cool and then just spaghet about it as we hop into our saucy side car! Jackson defines a bike poorly straight off the bat, George has fond memories of Shallow Hal and Duscher just wants to learn how to pronounce statistician correctly. It all goes downhill quick and then never really recovers, which is good because uphill is hard. Want to help us develop the first ever bossicycle? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us reach the next step in employee/employer relationships.To see more of George and to book tickets to his one man show head to http://www.georgedima.com. George & Co. (the solo tour) is running from now til Sunday the 3rd of April downstairs at the Grand Mercure, so come on down and we might see you there!

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In which our heroes climb the stage, regress ten years, and head to class as they discuss high school. We look at the unjust nature of some teachers, try to fix education, and wonder what kind of hellschool would ban best friends. Zammit channels his inner bully, Jackson wants to help kids fight swans, Zoe struggles with her taxes, and Duscher just wants to teach teens how not to be dickheads. So throw on your backpack, crack open your locker, and try not to get beat up. It's the least important part of existence.Want to help us do a live show in your hometown? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help in our quest to see your handsome faces.

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In which our heroes put on a pair of gumboots, douse ourselves with insect repellent and wade out into the depths as we discuss swamps. We attempt to work out the difference between a swamp, a mangrove, a wetland and a marsh, feed carrots to human teeth wielding fish and talk about Man-Thing. Jackson has to exasperatedly explain what mud men are, Alli isn’t afraid of the ocean and Tessa just wants people to know Spongebob Squarepants is riddled with inaccuracies. So join the gang as they delve deep into the swamp lands down by the bayou. It’s kinda goopy, a little gross and full of nothing that great.Want to help Man-Thing in his advocacy for education of swamps? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in raising awareness of swamps all around the world. And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!

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In which our heroes don’t turn up to recording, take a week off and decide to do a clip show instead, so it’s the best bits of Shut up a Second Season 1! Alli shifts through the archive to find the best moments, we remember Duscher’s dad’s tussle with a furby, revisit our bestiary creations and touch upon the many crimes of Caligula. Jackson’s strong and clearly foreign accent has yet to be gentrified, Zoe’s vocal chords haven’t been ruined by years of cigarettes and Duscher just hasn’t changed. So take a stroll down memory lane, relive some of our finest moments and remember why you fell in love with us in the first place.Want to help us make another clip show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Alli gearing up for the best of Season 2!Help support Comedy Cures charity by going over to https://groupees.com/rofl and purchasing some fine comedy bundles! We’ve got D&D is for Nerds Season 1 completely ad free and there’s a bunch of other goodies to get.And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!

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In which our heroes go out for a night on the town and can’t decide between high-heels, sneakers and our much beloved crocs as they discuss shoes. We work out why shoes don’t make sounds, reinvent rollerblades and discover pocket socks. Jackson thinks socks aren’t that clever of an idea, Duscher wants all shoes to be platform shoes and Sonia just looks like an idiot for her high school years. So join the gang as they learn to tie their shoelaces. It’s a lot harder than it looks and involves many overcomplicated and unnecessary knots. Want to help reinvent the shoe? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in something that is probably good enough as is. Want to some books to explain the birds and the bees? Head to http://sexedrescue.com/2016/giveaways/book_giveaway/ and enter for your chance to win!

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In which our heroes connect tenuous dots, make some barely convincing arguments and are unmoved in our beliefs as we discuss conspiracy theories… again. We elect a cactus, punch children for doubting the moon landing and are astounded by how many people go missing in National Parks. Jackson wants to know what they are doing about Africa, Marley won’t get anywhere when you count down at her and Duscher just wants dead people to stay dead. So join the gang as they become cult like in their beliefs and attempt to take down the lizard people secretly piloting the moon. It’s the only conspiracy show the illuminati isn't trying to shut down.Want to help prove that farmers are really all a giant con? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the true origin of bread.

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In which our heroes gain extra limbs, use their suction cups to get stuck to the ceiling and release the kraken as they discuss octopuses, octopi and/or octopodes. We find the sweet release of death blue-ringed octopuses provide, discover the best use for an octopus and teach a gorilla and a parrot to have a conversation. Jackson gauges octopus donut brainpower, Jarrod hates the word “seldom” and Tessa just wants to tell a story about an octopus becoming a life guard and the life lessons it learns along the way. So join the gang as they ink all over themselves, cause a scene and quickly scamper away to create further cephalopod mischief.Want to help sea creatures open jars? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in underwater storage. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Octopus Garden today!

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In which our heroes get swole, oil up their rippling bodies, put on some brightly coloured spandex and hop into the ring as they talk about the greatest wrestler in history, John Cena. We find new and exciting professions for Mr Cena, work out just which one of the Funky Bunch he looked liked and let Nanna win for once. Jackson is a big fan of his own calves, Edgoose is eager to see a horse get wrestled and Zoe just wants to know if the price is right. So join the gang as they start a professional wrestling career, then become a rapper, then appear in the Smosh movie for some reason..... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA. BUM-BA-DA-BA!Want to help John Cena awareness? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting his face on the side of every bus!Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Daddy’s Home today!

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