By my count, we drafted 8 quarterbacks, which seems absurd but watch the actual NFL pick nine in the first round this year and make us look lame. But will they draft a kicker? Will they draft an offensive lineman and make him play kicker? Will they forget one of the best defensive players in the whole draft is available until the first round is basically over?

No. And that's why you come to the Shutdown Fullcast, with special guest Harry Lyles. (Please follow Harry on Twitter - @harrylylesjr - and don't hold his appearance on this show against him. He just wanted to be a good coworker.)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can you secede from your HOA? What coach is best suited to represent himself? How do you safely and responsibly turn in the pygmy hippo you bought online not realizing that it would still grow to 500 pounds? Where will Spencer get his newest Michigan tattoo? Why is the NCAA? These pressing legal matters are well, no, not answered, but generally talked about and around on this LEGAL EAGLES episode of the Shutdown Fullcast, which is NOT brought to you by Cheez-It. Cheez-It: They Think You Look Fat In That Shirt.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We've probably done this episode three times before, and we probably said totally different things, and we're all probably trapped in an endless loop from which we can never emerge. Roll Tide.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spring football is here, and so are the same spring football stories you have heard for the last ten years and will hear for the next eleven. Therefore, we decided to focus on important non-football things, like egg preparations and Pearl Jam and Sean Connery movies and Pitt's football schedule and video game bear assassins. Good job, us!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John Currie got fired by Tennessee when the year was still 2017, yet we, the idiot sports internet, are still talking about it in March 2018. Why? Because the Vols decided to give the world a BUNCH of Currie's text messages, allowing us to discuss important matters like:Why Gogo Inflight is a Georgia weaponGroup texts, and the misery they present to those dragged into them unwillinglyItalian Brady HokeThe worst email you can get from your boss that isn't directly hostile or unprofessionalThat Disney and Pixar bracket, which was not sent to Currie but would have been had it come up at the time

My theory? Tennessee's doing this to distract us from talking or thinking about football. Watch them lose to Vanderbilt by 18 next year and "oh we found a bunch of John Currie's search history entries, here you go!"

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ALL HAIL THE RANDOMIZER. There is nothing of consequence to discuss this week in college football so rather than rely on the extremely faulty computers that are our own brains, we turned to the Shutdown Fullcast Topic Randomizer (patent pending) and asked you, gentle listener, to supply us with talking points. You did a great job, except when you asked us to compare Iowa to the state of American politics. That shit would have gotten us killed.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does anyone actually read the descriptions to podcasts? I mean, I don't generally, but it's possible my personal habits don't reflect the rest of the world. Let's test this: if you're reading this description, please tweet a Wario gif of your choosing at Spencer Hall (@edsbs).

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh look, the Fullcast got us a guest! Bomani Jones of ESPN answers the call and hangs tight for a lean, mean 38 minutes of furious offseason content. Also he sounds good even on Fullcast quality, because his voice transcends even the most mediocre audio setups. Damn you and your pretty voice, Bomani.

Topics include!

--The most calorically efficient Cook Out trays possible

--The hardest towns in each SEC state. SHOUT OUT TO ORANGE MOUND.

--Related: Why no one should ever have an enemy in New Orleans

--A necessary review of Mike Price's career as black market profiteer

--Bomani reviews Texas

--But we instantly swerve into a discussion of short but very mean defensive tackles

--LOU HOLTZ WAS JUST TRYING TO WIN

--How Mister Alexander is the most humble of names

SUBSCRIBE. FOLLOW. DOWNLOAD. LISTEN THREE TIMES FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're organized and hardworking and on top of things, and that's why we're wrapping up the payoffs for our fall charity drive in FEBRUARY. Imagine what it was like being our parents growing up! Just terrible, day in and day out. Reader selected topics include:The wonders of non-U.S. KFC offeringsWhether you should buy class photos for your childStar Wars, if Alex Jones were Princess LeiaBoomer SoonerBoomer SoonerBoomer SoonerBoomer Sooner

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Post Signing Day February is the time when basically nothing happens in college football, so Spencer didn't even bother to show up for this episode. Did we use that as an excuse to tell flagrant lies about his anatomy? Sure did! This episode is also full of your bold opinions on topics such as:Will MuschampNebraska football failureNFC teams invading Atlanta for the Super BowlRutgersThe Beatles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices