An emotional Simon Barnett has returned to Newstalk ZB today, his voice breaking as he thanked listeners for their love following the death of his wife Jodi.

He said he hoped Jodi was “listening somewhere else now” - she’d been his biggest supporter for 35 years, listening to every show and offering advice and guidance.

“I don’t know if I will get over her loss. I don’t want to,” said Barnett, his voice trembling.

He said he wanted to laugh and joke again, but also wanted people to know that Jodi would never be far from his mind.

“It’s actually lovely to be back. I didn’t know how I would go,” he said, as he kicked off the second hour of his 12pm-4pm Afternoons show on ZB, with co-host James Daniels.

He said he’d had a terrible sleep overnight, as he prepared for what seemed like the first day at school.

In the first hour of the show, he said it was “weird to be back but good to be back”.

“I have been on the cusp of tears all day,” the Afternoons host told his listeners, as he opened his first show of the year - the first time he’s been back on air after a six-month absence.

For the first time in 35 years his biggest supporter was not listening on earth, he said. His routine was now a lot different.

Jodi died in October following a long battle with brain cancer.

Daniels welcomed back Barnett - “I have got goosebumps” - and said he was missed: “Nau mai, hoki mai,” he reiterated.

Barnett, Daniels and producer Tyler Adams had caught up over pizza in Sumner on Saturday night.

Barnett had shouted the pair - Daniels joked that he had asked for Dom Perignon at the pizzeria on that basis.

Barnett thanked the hundreds of ZB listeners who had shown their love and support for him. He joked that the love texts might well turn to hate in the following hours as he opined on various news topics.

In a feature interview with the NZ Herald at the weekend, Barnett spoke of his return to the airwaves, saying he would not shy away from speaking about the loss of Jodi.

He described her as his biggest supporter and an unofficial content director, listening to every show and offering guidance and advice over many years.

Simon and Jodi Barnett: 'I look at her photo, I kiss her every night before bed.' 

“Since I started broadcasting, I’ve always wanted to be an authentic broadcaster - just tell it how it is, no fake news,” said Barnett.

“To some extent, I will mention it, not at length, but it will come up, I’m sure, and I’ll acknowledge it. I won’t have any issues with acknowledging it or talking about it.

“Hopefully it will make me a more empathetic broadcaster. I will be mindful that Jodi just used to love to listen.

“I’m not going to go into a monologue. I’m not going to write an editorial about it, I don’t imagine, but just when it comes up, I won’t shy away from it.”

Reconnecting with his listeners will play a critical role as Barnett deals with the grief of losing Jodi.

“The listeners have always been exceptionally good to me. Whether it’s in music radio or whether it’s in talk, they’ve always been very kind to me.

“I have really appreciated that kindness.”

Barnett, 56, has been back reading and watching the news in recent weeks.

“It’s a pretty broken world, I have to say. I find it challenging because I’m struggling to perk up anyway.

“And then I look at the world and I look at Israel and Palestine - it beggars belief what’s happening there. You’re aghast at the suffering and then the Russian-Ukrainian war is still going. How does this happen?

“I find that challenging, but thankfully I’m the midday-to-4pm host and I’m not doing Breakfast. I can still have some levity in our show with James, and I’m looking forward to that.”

Barnett speaks to Jodi “all the time”, through the power of prayer and God.

“Our faith is paramount. I always go through God. I say, ‘God, can you get Jodi for me’. I chat away.

“I look at her photo, I kiss her every night before bed. I look at her every morning when I wake up and I say ‘Good morning love’.”

Jodi will be at the forefront of his mind as he returns to radio.

“People say, ‘How are you doing?’ I don’t know how to answer that ... I suppose I’m doing okay,” Barnett says.

“I am stronger than I was three months ago, definitely. Three months ago, I couldn’t stop crying. Every moment of the day I was right on the cusp of tears and it was awful.

“Now it does come in waves. I don’t imagine that the waves will ever end.”

• Editor-at-Large Shayne Currie is one of New Zealand’s most experienced senior journalists and media leaders. He has held executive and senior editorial roles at NZME including Managing Editor, NZ Herald Editor and Herald on Sunday Editor and has a small shareholding in NZME. 

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