To celebrate their third wedding anniversary, Anjali and Rahul are each selecting a surprise activity to do together. This happy couple loves spontaneity, so they’re concerned about someday growing bored in their relationship. They’re also feeling pressure to mark the traditional milestones of marriage, including having kids. On this episode of How To!, authors Caryl and Jay Casbon join us to share the wisdom they gained from interviewing other married couples for their book Side by Side. The Casbons draw upon their own 22-year marriage to urge Anjali and Rahul to face conflict with openness and focus on individual “inner work”—in order to grow together. 

Learn more about Caryl and Jay Casbon here. If you liked this episode, check out an episode that Anjali loved: How To Decide Whether to Have a Baby with Wild author Cheryl Strayed. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler. 

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… the veil is thin.

It’s easy to forget, between the plastic skeletons and cheap chocolate, that Halloween was — and is, for many cultures — very much about the reality of death. 

As the Northern Hemisphere goes dormant for the winter, it’s worth remembering that the circle of life includes death. And instead of a punchline or a thing to be feared, we might actually celebrate death, when we can. And who better to consult on how to do that than modern-day witches?

Helen Berger, sociologist and researcher at Brandeis University, joins us to discuss.

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

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Our listener Abdullah has reached a plateau. A mid-career manager at a large electronics engineering corporation, he feels intellectually unstimulated. Even though Abdullah has a stable job with seniority, he dreams of going back to school, and pursuing his true passion: economics. But with a family to support, should Abdullah make a risky leap? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace is joined by Freakonomics co-author and University of Chicago economist Steven Levitt. Well-known for out-of-the-box thinking, Levitt shares surprising tips (including a simple coin flip strategy) that can help anyone on the edge of a huge decision.

If you liked this episode, check out: How To Know When to Quit Your Job

Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Kevin Bendis, Derek John, Joel Meyer, and Rosemary Belson.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work.

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… when silence is violence. 

The war in Israel and Palestine is a rapidly-evolving situation – and one that’s bringing up a lot of emotions for a lot of people. Couple that with the flood of mis-and-disinformation on social media, and “to post or not to post” becomes an extremely loaded question. 

Are you ever required to speak up on social media? Even if you don’t know the whole story? And if you elect not to say anything, is that inherently choosing a side — and causing harm to others in the process? 

Social strategist and writer Rachel Greenspan joins us to say that, as a Jewish woman, she doesn’t expect her friends to post about this moment in history… and maybe, neither should you.

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

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Kids generate so…much…stuff. A lot of it is memorable. Videos of their first words? So cute. Colorful drawings that progressively get better? Masterpieces. Trophies, stuffies, books? All valuable. The problem: There’s no way to keep everything. So how do you figure out what to cherish and what to toss? On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin bring in Nonnahs Driskill, professional organizer and founder of Get Organized Already. She has lots of insight into why we value certain items, what it means to have an organizing mindset, and how to archive your child’s life in a way that works for you. 

If you liked this episode, check out: How To Be a Lazy Genius and How To Style Your Home Like a Pro. 

Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, and Rosemary Belson.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work.

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… I’m just a bill.

A lot of Americans will agree, even across party lines, that our democracy feels broken. A commonly proposed solution is beefing up, or formalizing, the way we teach young people civics. 

Entities from the Center for American Progress to Vivek Ramaswamy have suggested that it’s time that we get students to know more about their government — in the hopes that knowing more leads to caring more, and engaging more. But by prioritizing civics, what else could students be missing? 

Reason Magazine’s Christian Barnard is our guest, here to argue that civics won’t save us.

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… sailing the ocean blue.

Most of us just had Monday off for the holiday formerly known as Columbus Day — and technically, still known as Columbus Day, on the federal level.

Indigenous People’s Day, or Native Americans’ Day, was christened as a rebuttal to what Columbus actually meant for many: colonialism, violence, death, and destruction. But there are those who believe that Columbus, the man, is a different beast than Columbus, the event. Spanish ships landing in the Caribbean was a monumental moment in global history… so could that still be worth commemorating, even in a world that’s no longer kind to Columbus? 

Prof. William Connell, chair of Italian Studies at Seton Hall University and organizer/co-editor of the definitive Routledge History of Italian-Americans, joins us. 

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… stretching our legs.

We know we like to bring you deep conversations about the biggest topics in the news. But today? Let’s go for a walk.

Lots of us picked up this new healthy habit over the course of the pandemic. But walking is still one of those things you either love or really, really hate. So we took our host — an enthusiastic walker — and sat her down with someone who hates it. 

Our guest is Lucy Lopez, media personality and host of the Mamacita Rica podcast.

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

You can skip all the ads in Hear Me Out by joining Slate Plus. Sign up now at slate.com/hearmeoutplus for just $15 a month for your first three months.

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Why is everyone—on the left and the right—suddenly touting the benefits of a married two-parent family? And what is it about this institution that appeals to a certain class of politicians and pundits as means to address American poverty, even as it loses popularity?

We consider the public meltdown over lower marriage rates and the renewed interest in ending no-fault divorce. 

Guest: Rebecca Traister, author of All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation and writer-at-large for New York magazine. 

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get benefits like zero ads on any Slate podcast, bonus episodes of shows like Slow Burn and Dear Prudence—and you’ll be supporting the work we do here on What Next. Sign up now at slate.com/whatnextplus to help support our work.

Podcast production by Elena Schwartz, Madeline Ducharme, Anna Phillips, Paige Osburn, and Rob Gunther.

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On today’s episode of Hear Me Out… what? Oh my god, who told you?

Adoption is a complicated thing. Raising a child who’s not related to you is challenging — and being that child, in many ways, is even harder. 

And it’s all too easy for adoption, particularly a white family adopting a black or brown child, to be framed as a heroic act. The truth, as adoptees will tell you, is a lot messier.

Angela Tucker, a writer and transracial adoptee, joins us to argue that adoption is traumatic… and with the right reforms, it shouldn’t need to happen as often as it does.

If you have thoughts you want to share, or an idea for a topic we should tackle, you can email the show: [email protected]

Podcast production by Maura Currie

You can skip all the ads in Hear Me Out by joining Slate Plus. Sign up now at slate.com/hearmeoutplus for just $15 a month for your first three months.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices